I'm trying to do my guestlist, and it's getting out of hand... when I add '& guest' the list is out of control!!! I don't think that I need to add 'and guest' to anyone unless they are seeing someone. I don't want to pay for all of these random people that I've never met in my life. My friend did it this way and she saved herself alot of money and it was a much more intimate setting.
What do you think? Am I being crazy? BTW - we're paying for this wedding all by ourselves!
ayadali
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
I absolutely agree with you. No need to include '& guest' unless they are in a very serious relationship. Your wedding is a reflection of you and is a time to treat the people you love and care about - not the random '& guests'!
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
Even though we're not getting married for 11 months, our list is pretty much done. We decided that if the person is single and not dating anyone at the time of the wedding, he or she does not get a guest. Anyone that is dating someone will get a guest. I'm not sure how it would work for someone who just newly started dating by the time of the wedding. If that only added 1 or 2 to the list, then we would would invite them. If it's too many, then maybe we wouldn't.
eogara
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
Nope. Our rule was if we had a name to write on the envelope, that person was invited with a guest. If not, they were invited solo. The only exception to this was one of DH's friends who didn't know a sole at the wedding except for DH and didn't have a GF at the time so he got an actual '& Guest'. Every wedding I've been to in the past year (which, including the next 2 in 8 days, is 11) has done it this way.
lishbone
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
im in the same boat you are..paying for it ourselves..if i were you i would go over your list..see how much over you are..(because they say 20% dont come) and if its way over then go back to the single people and see if you really think they need to bring someone..if they are married then of course..if they have a long term boyfriend/gfriend then yes..but someone who is just going to bring just anyone then i dont think its necessary..and also i went over the list and took off the people that i used to be friends with but i know will not be a part of my life after the wedding..i dont know if i rambled but i hope i helped a little...
akaMrsT
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
My good friend did not allow dates at her wedding and suggested I cut our list in the same way. She said she did not want the 'flavor of the month' to be in her wedding photos.
She invited only married or engaged couples and her rationale was that she wanted only seriously committed people to witness their committment ceremony. Her cut off point was married or engaged. She said if they are adults (25 & over) & have been dating for 4 years but are not engaged, they need to break up.
Interestingly enough, I know single people that attended her wedding and since they pretty much all knew each other, it was not like anyone was the odd ball out as far as dancing and not having anyone to talk to all night.
I do not want the wedding to turn into a 'Meet & Greet' for total strangers.
Not that inviting engaged or married guests means they won't cancel or break up though. Someone posted that her aunt/uncle split and one did not come to the wedding because of it.
DayBeforeThanksgiving
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
OMG, thank you!!! I thought I was the only person!!! And like you said, if there was a single person that didn't know anyone, of course I would put 'and guest'. If someone starts dating after the invites go out, I will call and add 'guest' but otherwise, I think we're okay.
You guys don't know how much stress you just relieved me of!!!
tjs
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
i agree only invite and guest if you know who the significant other is! good luck!
DayBeforeThanksgiving
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
Posted by akaMrsT
My good friend did not allow dates at her wedding and suggested I cut our list in the same way. She said she did not want the 'flavor of the month' to be in her wedding photos.
She invited only married or engaged couples and her rationale was that she wanted only seriously committed people to witness their committment ceremony. Her cut off point was married or engaged. She said if they are adults (25 & over) & have been dating for 4 years but are not engaged, they need to break up.
Interestingly enough, I know single people that attended her wedding and since they pretty much all knew each other, it was not like anyone was the odd ball out as far as dancing and not having anyone to talk to all night.
Oh, I don't really mind how long they're dating, just as long as they're with someone. I don't want people 'searching' for a date. In the longrun, that can sometimes be even more stressful for the single person than just coming alone and hoping to meet another single person.
I do not want the wedding to turn into a 'Meet & Greet' for total strangers.
Not that inviting engaged or married guests means they won't cancel or break up though. Someone posted that her aunt/uncle split and one did not come to the wedding because of it.
becks23
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
We did '& Guest' on a person by person basis. If someone is single but traveling to the wedding from out of town, I felt they should be able to bring someone. Also, if they don't know anyone else at the wedding, they can bring a guest. Otherwise, only if they are in a relationship.
janelovesharry
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
I agree, who wants the some randoms there that you don't know b/c your friend who you said could bring a guest then felt he HAD to bring someone he barely knows!! It's too much $$ to do that...it sounds like there will be enough single people there that they will have a good time together. Who knows maybe they will meet the person they are destined to marry at you wedding.
DayBeforeThanksgiving
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
Posted by janelovesharry
I agree, who wants the some randoms there that you don't know b/c your friend who you said could bring a guest then felt he HAD to bring someone he barely knows!! It's too much $$ to do that...it sounds like there will be enough single people there that they will have a good time together. Who knows maybe they will meet the person they are destined to marry at you wedding.
I like your thinking!
GoingNutty
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
While I agree with the idea behind not inviting people you don't know, I feel that anyone over 18 should be allowed to bring someone with a guest. I was invited to a wedding (AND I was dating Vinny at the tme, as well as my other two friends were dating someone) where I was not invited with a guest and it was horrible... We only knew each other and had nobody to dance or do anything with. My friends did this last year as well to our close friends, and even though most of them weren't dating anyone they were annoyed by havng that option taken away if they did want to bring someone...
If you are inviting a lot of friends I would talk to them and get a feel for what they think before doing anything. Last thing you want to do is make everyone mad at you before your weddin!
Adding guests to all our invites made the list jump too... but I am fairly sure that most of our friends won't be bringing someone anyway, its just an option I feel needs to be given to them
Only a few did, but that was okay b/c we have a few cousins whose spouses couldn't attend anyway. Of course, maybe I just got lucky!!
Good luck - I feel your pain!
RVCBride
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
I struggled with this as well. Ultimately everyone got invited with a guest over the age of 18. I also know that half of these people probably won't even bring one. I just felt I don't know everyone's love life and I didn't want to single out anyone. But you don't have to and I know a lot of brides that haven't . So at this point it's a matter of personal preference. Good Luck!
acre730
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
Posted by RVCBride
I struggled with this as well. Ultimately everyone got invited with a guest over the age of 18. I also know that half of these people probably won't even bring one. I just felt I don't know everyone's love life and I didn't want to single out anyone. But you don't have to and I know a lot of brides that haven't . So at this point it's a matter of personal preference. Good Luck!
We did this, and felt this way as well...But it is completely up to you, either way has their pros and cons.
designerbride
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
Posted by RVCBride
I struggled with this as well. Ultimately everyone got invited with a guest over the age of 18. I also know that half of these people probably won't even bring one. I just felt I don't know everyone's love life and I didn't want to single out anyone. But you don't have to and I know a lot of brides that haven't . So at this point it's a matter of personal preference. Good Luck!
I had the same problem. I invited everyone over 18 to bring a guest. IMO, some guests may feel more comfortable & enjoy themselves more if they bring a guest along (especially non-family members).
Beth1210
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
I agree - I am inviting everyone over 18 with a guest- but I am not paying for it either- I might have a differnt opinion if I was
tann22
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
Everyone over 18 that is single will be invited with a guest. I struggled with this too. I know a lot of my friends that are single probaly won't bring someone but I want them to at least have that option. Good luck.
maybride03
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Re: Freaking Out - Please help!
We struggled with it, but like you, we're paying for the wedding ourselves and the guest list got out of control when we added everyone with guest. So we kept guests to those people who are dating someone seriously or are married.
