Our best man decided to book his wedding one week before ours! we are getting married in Rome, and he will be on honeymoon and informed us tonight he will not be able to attend our wedding.
We have had our date booked for 7 months now, sent our save the dates and all.
rocketqueen
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Re: freinds gatting married same day!
Posted by flara1226
we spoke to the BM and he gave us BS excuse that he the bride to be wanted this date and they wanted this date so that is it. And we shoud plan our wedding around his becasue his is first. And Italina tradition was that he had to get marriend before November,? The hall only had this date so they took it.
He bascially made us feel as though they could not care less that he was imposing on our wedding, and besdies it was too much for him to plan to come to Italy, even though we gave him 19 months notice. And we should understand that this is what they want to do.
My FH said to him that it was messed up for him to plan so close to our date, his response was OH well you gotta do what you gotta do. PS They have been freinds since Kindergarten. for 25 years!
(BTW: he has said more than once that and hm and his fiance make combined salary of more than $200K a year) Yet they cant see affording to come to Rome. It costs $800 round trip and we told our wedding party, thier gift is thier presence so do not give us a gift, and we are going to skip the bachelor bachelorette party so they would not have to invest so much into our weddding. And we were going to pay for thier hotel expense for 3 nights. what now? trash 25 years?
My honest opinion? YES!! A true friend would have considered your feelings, and the fact that he made a commitment to be the BM at your wedding. YOUR wedding was planned and booked first- NOT his!! If he and his future wife wanted to disregard his responsibility out of selfishness, you can't stop them. If money was an issue, he should have said something rather than pull this BS move!! In my opinion, to continue this friendship and consider changing your wedding to suit them is not something he deserves!! They made a decision to choose what was best for them, regardless of how that would affect you. I am sure he was aware of the consequences (sp?) and decided to go ahead anyway. He made his bed and will have to lie in it. And his fiancee is also a piece of work!! I can't even imagine doing that to someone!!
Good luck with your plans and take some of these
mandc722
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Re: freinds gatting married same day!
mandc722
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Re: freinds gatting married same day!
nocode
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Re: freinds gatting married same day!
i would talk to them, maybe they can make rome part of thepir honeymoon and stll be there for you. honestly my best friend(moh) and i are getting married 2 weeks apart from eachother and he wedding is in fl which i know isnt rome but away nonthe less so we made our honeymoon a week later and miami/her wedding is going to be a stop on our honeymoon. hope things work out one day isnt worth losing good friends over
ratherbealeper
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Re: freinds gatting married same day!
This happened to us and honestly, its easy to give advice when you are not in the situation.
FH's best friend was originally getting married the week before us in Cleveland and they said they would delay their HM till after our wedding.
Due to circumstances they had to switch the date to the week after our wedding. We were living out of state and would have had to travel to 4 different cities in 2 weeks and we said maybe we shouldnt go. She got REALLLLLLY hurt and upset until we spoke about it and she realized how unrealistic it was.
I know how hard it is to see it this way but Its your friends wedding day too and you might not know all the circumstances for why they had to pick that date.
Why not agree to get together after you both get back from wedding HMs etc and go out to dinner and trade photos and have a little post-wedding party?
good luck, this sitch really is tough
flara1226
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Re: freinds gatting married same day!
You all have been such a great help. It took a few days and a few bottles of wine to get me to calm down. After reading all of the replies, we know deep down that we did not do anything wrong, and that we are right to go with our gut.
Thank you everyone who took the time to answer honestly, you have no idea how much better I feel from all of your support!
