freinds gatting married same day!

flara1226 Posted: Sep 27, 2007 01:11 AM

freinds gatting married same day!

Please offer some advice.

Our best man decided to book his wedding one week before ours! we are getting married in Rome, and he will be on honeymoon and informed us tonight he will not be able to attend our wedding.

We have had our date booked for 7 months now, sent our save the dates and all.

flara1226 Posted: Sep 27, 2007 01:20 AM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

sorry I am typing so fast I can not spell...... so mad!!!!!

mandc722 Posted: Sep 27, 2007 02:03 AM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

Nina_m74 Posted: Sep 27, 2007 08:26 AM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

That is such a strange situation, I can't imagine anyone scheduling their wedding when they know they are going to be the BM in a friend's wedding.

The only thing I can think of is that maybe he doesn't feel he can afford the trip to Rome for your wedding and this is his way of backing out? It would be a really wimpy way of addressing the situation, but maybe? Is that at all possible?

Mooshyboo Posted: Sep 27, 2007 08:34 AM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

Wow that is crazy ~ How can a BM be a groom the same day? I would talk to him about it ~ That is crazy rude if he did it on purpose ~ hopefully they did not realize it and will change his date... good luck!

SoontobeMrsMc Posted: Sep 27, 2007 08:50 AM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

I'm so sorry! I can't believe that someone would do that. You're in a tough situation.... I don't think you should have to change your wedding date or anything else. You have had this booked and planned for 7 months now. BM fiance and himself should have been more respectful of your feelings. When my FH and I got engaged-we were very careful of the date we picked bc his cousin (who set us up) had just gotten engaged, right before us. She had booked a July wedding and although we both really wanted a summer wedding, we didn't want it to be too close to her's. So we went for a May wedding-gave it a month in between (so nothing would interfer).

I would hate to see your friendship with BM go sour bc of this but this is something HUGE. He was very selfish in his decision. I think you and FH should talk to him about this.... without yelling or gettng upset, just sit down and talk to him. Explain how you feel and how his plans will effect a lot of things. Hope everything works out.

Bellez95 Posted: Sep 27, 2007 09:09 AM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

That is just wrong no matter how you look at it. How does your BM decide he cant go to your wedding.
He messed up the friendship not you guys. You need to def talk to him and tell him flat out tthats messed up.

rkl1130 Posted: Sep 27, 2007 09:49 AM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

I am so sorry.

This is a tough situation. It's rude and inconsiderate for them to have booked that date--especially considering he's your BM and that you've had yours planned for 7 months! I would go ahead with your plans though.

Is this his way of getting out of your wedding??? Do he and his fiance realize what they are doing???

Sit down and talk to him about it. If he's your BM then you all obviously have a good friendship and you should all be able to discuss this.

Brian and Marie Posted: Sep 27, 2007 10:45 AM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

You definately need to confront him!!! And we're all on your side-HE'S WRONG!!!

colleen1117 Posted: Sep 27, 2007 10:46 AM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

something is definitely 'up' there is just no logical explanation for someone to do that...ESPECIALLY the best man. my guess, there is some NWR issue here. First, if i'm right and that is the case then shame on mr. BM for not acting like an adult and dealing with it. second, i would have your FH have a talk with him, just the two of them. there's no rhyme or reason for him to have done that

GOOD LUCK to yoU!!! let us know how it turns out

rocketqueen Posted: Sep 27, 2007 10:53 AM

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WOW- I can't believe that!! I don't want to instigate, but I find it very unlikely that they just weren't thinking and didn't realize it would interfere with your plans. I mean he was supposed to be the BM!! I am sure both he and his fiancee are well aware of your date, and how this will affect your wedding.

You and FH definitely need to speak with him and find out what the story is. Also, you set your date first, and should not have to change anything!! If he chooses to not participate in your wedding, that is his decision and he will lose out. Also, if that is what he decides, ten you should here it from him, not through the grapevine. Keep your date. It is not fair to you and FH to have to change your plans b/c of this.

Sorry- don't mean to fuel the flames, but this makes me so mad!!!

AeroJenn Posted: Sep 27, 2007 01:04 PM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

wow...this is your Best Man? You definately need to talk to him. How could your best man not attend your wedding? He's known about this for 7 months -- what is he thinking??

GinaZ Posted: Sep 27, 2007 01:15 PM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

WOW!! Sorry to hear this! I think you both should sit down and explain to him why you are upset and your point of view on the situation. And if he isn't willing to work something out, then he shouldn't be the best man anyway. I think its very selfish that he is doing this to you!

xBrunette Posted: Sep 27, 2007 02:15 PM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

that's really messed up... obviously they dont care about you or him if he's doing something like that... def talk to them even though it's going to awkward... but just explain how you feel and that you feel betrayed.... good luck.. hope it works out for u

november152008 Posted: Sep 27, 2007 02:16 PM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

that is just wrong... did he agree to be best man? is he jealous of ur relationship? does he see ur friendship as you see him as a friend?

this just sounds stranfe and wrong of him...

drpepper318 Posted: Sep 27, 2007 03:37 PM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

That's such an a$$hole move on his part to make the wedding right before yours. Also the fact that he was your best man makes it even worse. There's nooo excuse for making it the week before yours!!!!!!! That ruins everything because now he can't even come to yours much less be the best man anymore!!! That's crazy. If it were me I'd dump that friendship in the trash soooo fast & never speak to him again.

SparklingBride10 Posted: Sep 27, 2007 06:46 PM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

That seems kind of spiteful and childish to book the wedding a week before yours, I say cut all ties but thats what I would do.

little34 Posted: Sep 27, 2007 07:51 PM

Re: freinds gatting married same day!

I would confront and just say that you are both a bit hurt since you have had your wedding booked and the save the dates and all of that... I think that keeping things in will effect the relationship that much more then if you just got it out in the open...

then I would just not worry about those who can not attend your wedding and just have a great time...I know that you would love to have everyone there, but if they are choosing him over your wedding, then maybe it is better that they not come. Don't sweat the things you can't control.

Im sorry you are dealing with all of this...My MOH is getting engaged soon and I think she wants to get married around the same time as me... people just don't think!!!