Friend drama

wendy1220 Posted: Jul 17, 2006 09:11 AM

Friend drama

Would it bother you if a very close friend who lives out of state intended on coming to your shower but decides not to because their boyfriend decided to go out to visit them?

I feel like crap right now about this whole thing.

jes81276 Posted: Jul 17, 2006 09:13 AM

Re: Friend drama

Yes it would bother me alot, but one thing I have learned through plannig this wedding is that you really learn who your true friends are....I have a 'friend' who didn't rsvp to my shower and when my MOH called her to see if she was coming she was like, 'yeah, no I am not going to go bc I won't know anyone there' If that isn't obnoxious enough, she STILL hasn't RSVP'd to my weddng and I am getting married on Friday - needless to say she won't be getting a phone call from me amytime soon!

wendy1220 Posted: Jul 17, 2006 09:16 AM

Re: Friend drama

Posted by jes81276

Yes it would bother me alot, but one thing I have learned through plannig this wedding is that you really learn who your true friends are....I have a 'friend' who didn't rsvp to my shower and when my MOH called her to see if she was coming she was like, 'yeah, no I am not going to go bc I won't know anyone there' If that isn't obnoxious enough, she STILL hasn't RSVP'd to my weddng and I am getting married on Friday - needless to say she won't be getting a phone call from me amytime soon!

You can say that again. I'm really hurt by this, I mean come on, I'm pretty low key about this wedding but give me a break, I'm freakin getting MARRIED and you're ditching because your boyfriend is coming for a visit? As for your friend, that's horrible. I've gone to showers where I don't know anyone, it's a little tough but the important thing is to be there for your friend.

I'll never understand people.

M&S Sept12006 Posted: Jul 17, 2006 09:22 AM

Re: Friend drama

Unfortunately thats how it is with these friends...I would be royally pi$$ed off, but I've gone through different drama...its not worth getting aggrevated. At the end of hte day she will feel guilty not attending your shower...and remember this for the future when HER shower comes rolling around...

roxyvelas Posted: Jul 17, 2006 09:25 AM

Re: Friend drama

It bothered me when my friend who I've known since high school decided to go to a children's birthday party instead of my shower. She could have at least stopped by.

wendy1220 Posted: Jul 17, 2006 09:52 AM

Re: Friend drama

Posted by M&S Sept12006

Unfortunately thats how it is with these friends...I would be royally pi$$ed off, but I've gone through different drama...its not worth getting aggrevated. At the end of hte day she will feel guilty not attending your shower...and remember this for the future when HER shower comes rolling around...

Thanks. One of my friends said the same thing. Unfortunately, I'm still upset about it. Thanks for making feel like I'm not so crazy.

M&S Sept12006 Posted: Jul 17, 2006 09:54 AM

Re: Friend drama

Posted by wendy1220

Posted by M&S Sept12006

Unfortunately thats how it is with these friends...I would be royally pi$$ed off, but I've gone through different drama...its not worth getting aggrevated. At the end of hte day she will feel guilty not attending your shower...and remember this for the future when HER shower comes rolling around...

Thanks. One of my friends said the same thing. Unfortunately, I'm still upset about it. Thanks for making feel like I'm not so crazy.

Oh no luv you're not crazy at all...its just that other people dont get it until THEY are ready to get married.

waterspout4 Posted: Jul 17, 2006 12:02 PM

Re: Friend drama

All that's in her mind is getting some, if you know what I mean.

I went through this too while planning my wedding. It's true you find out who your friends are.

glinda_goodwitch Posted: Jul 17, 2006 12:18 PM

Re: Friend drama

My cousin didn't come to our wedding. She didn't even say anything to us other than to return the card as a No. We drove 8 hours to be at her wedding a year and a half ago. And this was family! For some reason, people really show their true colors with a wedding. I'm not sure why, but I've found this to be the case, and I'm sure a lot of girls on this site agree with me. I think your friend's excuse is a terrible one.

stephanielyse Posted: Jul 17, 2006 12:45 PM

Re: Friend drama

Just to play devil's advocate, how often does your friend see her boyfriend? My DH and I had a very long distance relationship for about 8 months and if he had decided to come and visit me I would cancel any plans that I couldn't involve him in. Before you get upset at your friend, imagine if you were in her shoes and your FH was coming to visit you while you were supposed to be away. It $ucks that your shower isn't as much of a priority as you'd like it to be, but what we brides so often loose perspective of is that while it's great to be there to celebrate with your friend who is about to be married, going to a shower out of state is a big deal, lots of driving, possibly paying for a hotel and going to a party where you may not know many people just to watch someone open a bunch of gifts and play silly games.

October Bliss Posted: Jul 17, 2006 02:28 PM

Re: Friend drama

I suppose it depends. How far apart does your friend live from her boyfriend? How often does he go visit her? How often does she go visit him? Is it a big financial expense for them to visit one another? Before I got mad, I would want to know the answers to those questions. Yes, your shower is important, and yes, she already said she was coming. However, if he lives a plane ride away and she hasn't seen him in two months - sorry, but that visit with him takes priority over the shower. JMO.

wendy1220 Posted: Jul 17, 2006 05:22 PM

Re: Friend drama

Posted by October Bliss

I suppose it depends. How far apart does your friend live from her boyfriend? How often does he go visit her? How often does she go visit him? Is it a big financial expense for them to visit one another? Before I got mad, I would want to know the answers to those questions. Yes, your shower is important, and yes, she already said she was coming. However, if he lives a plane ride away and she hasn't seen him in two months - sorry, but that visit with him takes priority over the shower. JMO.

They do live far apart but she sees him for at least one week out of every month. He's going to be there for almost 3 weeks, and she was only planning on coming for the weekend for the shower. If she never saw him and it was a financial burden, I'd never expect her to come. In fact, I didn't say a word to her about coming because I don't want her to feel pressured. It wasn't until she mentioned it to me that I got excited that she'd be there.

I totally see where your coming from and if the situation were different, I wouldn't be upset. Thanks!

EJSD2006 Posted: Jul 17, 2006 07:38 PM

Re: Friend drama

you REALLY do find out who your real friends are when planning a wedding! i had a friend that rsvp'd to my shower, and then no showed! my mom was pissed because she paid for her to come and then she didnt show up! needless to say, she didnt come to my wedding either. i'm glad she didnt though, cause i didnt want the drama on my day!