Friend vent...

Just cause i know you guys will understand..

one of my best friends is starting law school in the fall and tells me yesterday that shes not off for columbus day (my wedding is the sunday afternoon before columbus day Monday).
She pretty much broke the news to me that if she has an 8am class on Monday - she won't be coming to the wedding....mind you, my wedding is over by 5pm & her school is in PA - 4 hrs away...

If she REALLY wanted to be at my wedding, then dont you think she would be saying 'f*ck it, no matter what time ill get back to school, ill be there cause i wouldnt miss my best friends wedding for the world'......

gotta love friends

I understand both sides:


If your wedding is over by 5pm, she could come and just not stay for the whole reception. If she left at say 3:45-4 she'd be back at school at like 8pm
(still plently of time to get rest and prepare).

On the other hand,

have you ever partied /stayed out knowing you had to go to work the next day and it felt like a luming cloud over your head? Perhaps she just wants to be sharp and on her toes for class.

Your feelings are valid, you just want your best friend to be with you on your special day. I see both sides, but if it were me and my best friend I would just tough it out and at minimum be at the ceremony to see her walk down the aisle.

I am sorry~

I totally understand you being upset, and I think she should try to come for at least a little while. That being said, I work at a Law School and my FH is a law student and let me tell you it is a whole different ball game! Being a law school student is nothing like being a undergrad, or even a grad school student. There is more pressure than you can imagine. I know my mom even changed my shower date, because FH said it was 4 weeks before the Bar exam, and he wouldn't be able to even take the time to drive me there and come get the gifts later! So, I know it hurts you, but I don't think she is doing it to be mean. It's still a while a way, so maybe she will change her mind and try to come for a little bit. Don't let it get you down, your day will still be incredible!

Edited to say: I just reread your post and realized it's her first year of law school, that is the worst year, and don't be surprised if don't see her at all for the fall semester. I never knew what it was like till I started working there!

First year of lawschool is stressful, yes, but it's completely possible to miss one day of classes or to be late to a class once. Unless she goes to a strange school where they actually take attendance, missing one class once really isn't that big a deal. Since she already knows her schedule, she could reach out to the professor in advance and see if she could possibly attend another section's class that week to make up for the missed class. First year classes are usually the same for everyone and there are other sections.

If she were studying for the bar, that would be different. But one morning class in October is not making or breaking her law school career.

I have to say that starting law school is a very stressful experience. I know cause I did it. And yes they do take attendance. We had a set number of absences we could have and if we missed more than that we failed the class automatically. You really have to budget your time because if you get sick and have to miss when you already missed for something else you will end up failing.

Im not saying that because of this she HAS to miss your wedding. Just understand that there may be more to it than she just doesn't feel like missing class. WHen I was in law school my entire life other than school was basically on hold....I missed many family weddings, functions and holidays because of it.