friend vent

Last week a friend of mine upset me and I vented about her and the situation. Well she did it again!

Her sister, one of my BM's moved into a co-op and she and another sister were going to throw my BM a house warming party. Both sisters told me about it and it was obvious I was invited and I said whatever I can do to help I will.

So it happens to be the weekend before my birthday. I told one of the sisters (there's 3 total, one is my BM, I'm friends with all 3) that and that my finance had wanted to take me away to NC for a weekend that weekend. I told the sister that I would talk to him and see if he could take me another time. The sister didn't seem upset that he wanted to take me that weekend. As a matter of fact, I can't be sure but I think she said something like it wasn't a big deal if he planned it that weekend.

So he did and he forgot about my BM's upcoming party. I didn't get an official invite yet but he told me today and the plane tickets have been bought already. So I said OK I'll have to call and let my friend (the BM's sister) know I won't be able to go. I didn't want to call the sister that I had the problem with so I called the 3rd sister and the one I didn't want to talk to answered. So I was nice and asked for the sister I wanted to talk to and she said she was sleeping. So I said hi and she was like 'hi!!' (as if nothing happend last week..ok) and I said 'are you guys still plannign a housewarming party for your sister ' and she said yes and I said I wanted to let you know I won't be able to go b/c FH planned a weekend for my birthday in NC. Well the attitude she caught! 'oh.' I said 'yeah he forgot about the party' she said 'i see' and she was snippy and couldn't wait to get off the phone.

What the hell? Her sister (my BM) is really really shy and doesn't have alot of friends - was this party going to be just me and her family? Will the party not go off if I'm not there? I mean what the heck? And if FH told me beforehand I would have said lets do it Veterans Day weekend instead. But he forgot. Honest mistake. The tickets were purchased on hotwire so they are non-refundable. We are also going to see his aunt and cousins, who I like so I am looking forward to it. I mean it's a housewarming party not her wedding that I'm missing.

I know I'm probably blowing it out of proportion but it just really ticked me off that this sister acted like I was the b*tch of the universe that I called to tell her I could not attend the party.

Sorry just wanted to get that off my chest.

I wouldn't let them get to you. Sometimes people act as if the world is supposed to revolve around them. You had plans already and unfortunately won't be able to make the party. Enjoy your trip and have a nice birthday and don't let anyone get to you.

Why feel guilty that you are going for a nice romatic weekend away w/ your husband? If it was the other way around you would understand. I have a friend that I & a few others feel we have to walk around eggshells because she is SOOOOOOOOOo sensitive. I've learned (after MANY years) to give up trying to please her. and if I can make things great if I can't the world won't end!! It will blow over. If you were going to give a gift just either give it to a friend or mail it.

I wouldnt feel guilty about it. Stuff happens.

I'd probably get a nice gift for her while I was on vacation and give it to her saying 'Sorry I couldnt be here, but I was thinking of you'

I dunno. Some people take things so out of porportion it's silly!

Maribelle- don't feel guilty about going on your lovely birthday weekend! I would say that it is probably important to your BM that you are there for her party, BUT if you aren't the type of person who blows people off all the time, then I wouldn't even give it a second thought. If she is like me she will totally understand when you tell her about DH planning it and all. People have planning conflicts all the time.
I also have a friend, who likes to say that she walks on eggshells, when in actuality she is on eggshells because she frequently lies, and/or bails out - and no... the world will not end.
So if you are upfront with her, there should be no problemo!

Hi Mary -

These girls sound as if they are putting you through the wringger no?

Get a nice gift for her while on Vacation I agree 100%. Why should you have to justify a weekend getaway that was already in the works to them??????

Not for nothing its your birthday why should you have to spend it at a house warming party? Dont let people make you feel like you have to rearrange your life for them !

You guys are the best.

Sometimes I second guess myself when it comes to relationships. I don't like having people upset with me, whether it's justifiable or not. Makes things so tense and stressful!

I know my BM for whom the party is being held for would not mind me not being there - it's her sister that seems to have the problem. I don't even know how the 3rd sister feels but from my experiences with all three she seems the most rational/practical so if she is not pissed off the next time I see her I'll feel better. I just don't want to have one sister mad at me and have my BM feel weird about the situation and being in my wedding.

I actually already bought her towels, tea towels, and some pictures for her walls weeks ago so I will give it to her before I go away.

Thanks again.