Friend vent - I am struggling with this (long again!)

Original post by MaryK

Nov 26, 2002 09:56 AM

OK I got engaged last Christmas and we set our date in March. A good friend of mine got engaged last May. We went to all kinds of bridal expos together, I gave her magazines, spreadsheets, anything I had to help her. She had her e-party in Sept. and still hadn't set a date. Finally about two weeks ago, she called and left a message telling us her date. April 26, 2003. April 26, 2003??? I am really struggling and it's taken me awhile to post this because I just can't believe it's true! I spoke to her the following day and even spoke to her mother. I told them I was disapponted because I wanted her to be at my wedding and vice versa. But they told me there was a cancellation and they got a good deal. (Her mom even said I could come after mine, since mine is a day wedding and hers is at night! My cousin said I should show up IN MY WEDDING DRESS!)

FI is really upset/shocked. I am numb. I mean there really is no effect on my guestlist except for her family. So I've been telling myself it's not a big deal, I can just invite 6 more people from work.

So how do I handle this? I live across the street from her and see her family all the time. I am trying to take the high road here but I can't seem to find it-my emotions are getting in the way! Do I send her an invite? Any advice? As always, thanks for letting me vent!

lilmrs Posted: Nov 26, 2002 12:31 PM

Re: Friend vent - I am struggling with this (long again!)

That S U C K S of her! I would be pi$$ed too! Take the high road...acknowledge her but don't invite her.

shamma Posted: Nov 26, 2002 12:43 PM

Re: Friend vent - I am struggling with this (long again!)

Now I like/try to give people the BOTD, but you mean to tell me she could not choose another date?? of all the dates on the calendar. I can only imagine how you feel. Take it all in stride sweetie it will not let your day be any less special. Since she will not be attending your wedding, I am sure she will not be expecting an invite. You could send her a card congratulating her on her marriage.

All the best and happy planning

LisaT Posted: Nov 26, 2002 02:09 PM

Re: Friend vent - I am struggling with this (long again!)

I think thats unforgivable. I wouldn't send an invitation.

My mom had a similiar sitaution - her 'best' friend scheduled her wedding the day after my parents. My parents had the date for awhile bfore the friend planned her day. So neither one of them were at the others wedding (my mom was on her honeymoon and the friend was too busy preparing).

My mom's not one to hold grudges (or even let her friend know how hurt she was) but 35 years later she hasn't quite forgiven her. Though they do often celebrate their anniversaries together now.

Marcela1654 Posted: Nov 26, 2002 02:12 PM

Re: Friend vent - I am struggling with this (long again!)

I cannot believe this What she did is outrageous. I would just forget her. She's not worth the heartache.

dgtlsunshine Posted: Nov 26, 2002 02:28 PM

Re: Friend vent - I am struggling with this (long again!)

Hold on a minute before you let this get to you too much. When planning my wedding I realize that as a bride we expect everyone to give our wedding high importance. I mean since you all don't really have a lot of mutual friends, really don't let it get to you. It could be they really got a deal that couldn't be beat. Also the important things are you and your FH and family. I have learned in my planning you get to see a lot of people's true personality. The people that let me down during my wedding planning I just left it as that and now I know how they really are. Do not let the things that you can't change take away any joy from your wedding day!!