Friends

Okay i have a question for some of you...

For those people who have a couple of close frends (or a lot)...

Are these friends from Grammer School, HS, College or after?

If they are later in life friends what happened to your older friends?

Do you at times wish you had more closer friends or more acquaintence friends...or do you like the way everything is now.

I'll start

Most of my close friends are from HS. I still talk to two of my college friends but they live out of state. I knew in college with the girls i hung out with that they were good for the here and now but they were not true friends.

I have lost a lot of HS friends though that i still see from time to time. Its hard to pick a reason why we are not as close as we were back then....but i think it just came down to that our lives went in different directions and not just being away from one another. But when one of you have experiences the other doesn't it does sometimes make things awkward.

I am very happy with the amount of close friends i have and acquaintences...however my good friends are all from different groups or areas in my life so i don't have necessarily a good 'group' of girlfriends, but i have a lot of good friends from different areas.

Friendship I have found takes a lot more effor for me as i get older. There are different personalities and different paths life can take you. I find a lot of friendships i miss now did not end because of a fight but just because life took us in different directions and its sad to me.

I just went a few months back to the wedding of a girl who was a best friend of mine back in grammer and HS. I remember we made a pack back in HS that we would be maid of honors in each of our weddings....well we both went to each of our weddings, but neither of us were in the wedding party or really a big part in each others lifes. It was weird because i had her family coming up to me at her wedding going what ever happened between you two? You guys use to be inseperable and i was like there is not one thing it just happened and we still really like and respect each other i just can't pin point when it happened...weird right???

Just wondering if you guys have had the same situations??

to be honest i dont have a whole bunch of friends... b/c i like it that way. i prefer quality over quantity. So i have:
* **my best friend for life.... Jenny.... we were born a year apart and our moms were best friends so we grew up together (across the street) til she moved away. then we would write letters and she would come for summers and some Xmas's. We are SOOOO close today! She lives in CAli but we talk all the time. Shes coming to visit in Feb.
***my other best friend.... Jax.... she is my best friend here. I would say they are on the same level almost of friendshipness.... except i grew up with Jenny which is the only big difference. I met Jax when i was in HS, but we met at work.. at Borders. that was 4 years ago and we adore each other. I love her so much. She's another friend for life.
**** as for my other friends (only a few people do i consider 'friends') they are mostly friends of mine & Jaxy's. ..... I still talk to friends from HS but dont really hang out with them..... Then again, I'm only 21 so ask me again in 10 years!!!!! (but honestly, most of my friends are usually through another friend or whatever job i have)... hope this helps!

i've always had a huge group of friends in both HS and College.

I graduated from college SEVERAL years ago (late 90's) and I find every year my friendships change. This year, I've become very close with my high school best friend again. My friendship with my college best friend has totally fallen apart. I've found the majority of friendships I made in college were not strong enough to stand the distance and differences in each of our lives after we left school. The single girls are not interested in the married/engaged/serious relationship girls lives. Us attached girls have tried to be part of the single girls lives, but it's almost as if they no longer want our friendship.

On the other hand, my HS friends have suddenly reappeared and I realize how much I value their friendships and how true they are considering after all the time has elapsed we can pick up right after we left off.

Friends are weird. Things change constantly. I guess you just have to go with the flow.

Oh, I also no longer have a 'group' of friends. They are random friends from different parts of my life. And yes, I totally miss the whole 'group' dynamic, but I guess that's to be expected once you get older :(

My best friend is from 8th grade. We went to school together for one year and we've just stayed best frineds een thoug there were times when we didn't speak for weeks or months at a time. We're just twins and soulmates in every way, and we totally undersand each other.

I have another best frined who I met in HS , but we didn't go to he same HS. We've stayed in touch one and off and when we see each other we still have a blast, but we've grown apart it some ways we still love each other, etc

And then I have a few friends from high school. I had a lot of friends in HS, we had one big group and I keep in vague touch with them, some more than others, but it's hard, we really lost touch in college, so i dn't even know what's going on most of the time. Right ow I'm confused about my bridal aprty> if so, whom? when we talk we're still clsoe and we still care about each other, but we never talk, there are a few girls I'd love to include, but I don't want to offend others.

College..I have one friend I really keep in touch with since college, and a few other people mostly from my theatre company who I say hi to online once in a blue moon. I still have to go back to college, so I may meet up with some of the younger ones again, but you never know.

ETA: I also miss the group dynamic, but now I'm sort of rorming a new group, my 2 best frineds, FH's best friend, my best firneds brother and one of my great guy frineds from HS all get along really well and we try to have them over, etc..so we're forming a new conglomerated group

i have two equally close best friends. elaine i met a 4 years ago through another friend and although i know longer talk to the person i met her through i have stayed close to elaine.she is always there to listen and to add the voice of reason to my crazy plans. she is a very special and amazing person and makes an incredible friend she was in my bridal party as one of the bms and has become a part of my family.


my friend monica i met 2 years ago at work and she was showing me the ropes although she had only just started there herself. she has to be the kindest sweetest person i have ever met. she is type of person that can always bring a smile to the persons face. she was also in my bridal party as a bm although i only knew her 6 months at the time i knew my day wouldnt be the same if she wasnt apart of it. she is also a part of my family


my best friend in the world though would have to be my younger brother vinnie. we are 4 years apart and have been close since he was born. when we were young we told my mom after we had been at my aunts wedding that we were going to be each others best girl and boy of honor lol. of course it evolved as we got older and he was my man of honor when i was married in january. we can finish each others sentences and tend to try new things or do certain tasks on the same day without telling each other untill afterwards. all of our friends call us the wonder twins zen and jaina from the super friends. i would completely lost without him. he is the person that knows me the best in the world even better then dh who drags my brother shopping for christmas and b day gifts for me lol. there is nothing i would change about him. im proud to be his sister.

I have only a couple of close friends & love it that way!

My best friend & MOH We are 9 days apart & have known each other since kindergarden....We have always been so close growning up & have been through so much...I could not imagine life without her..She is also my gym partner

Good Friend #1, we met when we were in 1st grade...Our mom's were friends & teachers together...We had our ups & downs & different lives...There was a time frame where we didn't speak as often as we should but that had to do with different work schedules & all...She is now one of my BM's

Close Friend #2 We have known each other for 12 years & met at our parents summer house in Maine...Our mom's were friends growing up but they never purchased a house, so they were only their to spend time with his grandparents...So, one day, his mom thought it would be cute to introduce us! We have been inseparable since but the problem is, he lives in VA...We speak every week & try to visit as much as possible

Close Friend #3...She is a year younger then me but we lived across the street from one another...She moved to Texas when she was 4 but our parents kept us in touch...We did this til we were about 17 & then her parents went through a nasty divorce & she shut herself down from the rest of the world out of shame...We would take twice a year if that...Just about 2 months ago, she came out of her shell & we have been talking constantly!

My dearest friend, she;s my MOH, I met her at work 8 yrs ago. We've been through a lot at work with the office politics. I have 2 friends who I've known over 20 years. I supposedly have a best friend since the 5th grade but I don't hear from her. When we were in the 7th grade, she moved upstate. One week I would call her and she would call me. After a while I was just calling. The phone works 2 ways. I hardly hear from her Then she was surprised when I called her to say I got engaged. SOme of my close friends, believe it or not, I met on there internet.

I also dont have a large group of 'friends'. I have lots of acquaintances, but they are mostly 'good for now' friends.

I would have to say my best friend is FH.
After that my closest friend is someone I met in Junior High. There was a time in college where we lost touch, but now we are really close again.

I keep in touch with one friend from college, and noone from HS.

I think a lot of it has to do with proximity, convenience, and if there is a lack of those, then effort. It is really hard to maintain a close friendship with someone whom it takes a huge effort to hang out with.

I sometimes wonder if Im missing out by not having a huge 'circle' of friends. Does anyone really have that, though?

I have a number of close friends, from all different parts of my life - not one group specifically.


I grew up with two friends who lived on my street. One moved to NJ after 6th grade. We still talk on occasion, and she is at my wedding, but we aren't as close. The other one I just grew apart from - we were so different and I kind of lost patience with her.

I have one friend from when I was 6 years old, from Hebrew School, who now lives in VA. She and I don't talk much, but that's just how we are. Whenever she's in town, we pick right back up from where we left off. She was one of my BMs.

I always lived in the same place growing up, but the way the zoning worked for schools, I ended up making new friends each time it was time to change schools, and then we would stop going to school together. This made it hard to maintain some friendships as a kid.

I had a great group of friends in HS, and some of us went to Binghamton University together, but they all went Greek and lived in the same dorms, and I didn't. I had a completely different circle of friends. I wasn't a partier, and they were. It started to become weird to hang out at home on breaks b/c we didn't hang out in college. I still keep in touch with my best friend from HS, but we aren't close at all, which makes me sad.

The friends who I have maintained from my HS days are the ones who didn't go to my HS, but who I met through my youth group. I used to be in USY (United Synagogue Youth), and I had friends all over the city and on LI. I'm still very good friends with quite a few of them.

I spend most of my time socializing with college friends. Lbf404 is one of my closest friends in the world (Love ya, Laurie!) and our DHs are very close friends - we were all in each other's wedding parties. I have a few other close friends from college.

RedRoses, who is on BHB at times, but never NWR is my best friend from grad school. She and I are so close, after knowing each other for only 3 years, and she was also one of my BMs.

ETA: Another very close friend of mine is my 1st boyfriend from HS. He and I dated for the first 5 months of knowing each other and have been the closest of friends for the last 10 years. He has always said, 'you should be able to count your close friends on one hand'. I happen to agree with him. He was also in the wedding party - my DH wanted to have him as a groomsman for me - he's the best!

I have my very best friend, then I have 'core' friends and then sort of what I call 'surface' friends.

My very best friend, the woman I consider like my sister moved away when I was 14. She's had a very rough life which unfortunately has affected her adult life. Although sometimes I get frustrated with her (this summer she visited and I couldn't wait for her to go home because she was acting so irratic) I love her to pieces and consider her my ultimate friend. We've been friends since 10, best friends since 12.

Then I have 'core' friends who I consider my inner circle, the people who know me best and the people who will always be there for me. The friends who I can feel like I haven't missed a beat, even if it's been weeks between conversations. I've had the same group of friends since senior year of high school and although some of the players change (different spouses, etc.), the key players haven't. There's about 10 or 12 of them. I have also bumped up people to 'core' status throughout the years as I developed deeper, more permanent bonds with them. One of them is a girl I worked with years ago who I consider an extremely good friend.

And then there are 'surface' friends, the people I hang with on occassion, who I care for a great deal but don't engage with socially on a frequent basis. More like acquaintences but closer. Alot of people sadly fall into this category for no other reason than my incredible lack of free time.

One of my closest friends I've been friends with since we were 5. Even though she lives in Virginia we still talk once a week and make it a point to see each other twice a year.

Just about all of my other friends I met through DH which is while I was in college but they were all out of college by then. I was very lucky that I really liked all of his friends right when I met them. My MOH was actually one of his friends that I've developed an incredible friendship with.

I recently had my high school reunion and have started talking to some of my friends again.

I was very interested in reading people's replies to this post. I grew up on LI and had a very tight group of friends. Even though we graduated HS over 10 years ago, we all stay in touch and get together several times a year, but it's still different.
I then went to 4 yrs of college and 5 yrs of grad school down in Virigina and made my best friends there. Again, an awesome group of people, probably some of my happiest years. My 2 closest/favorite people in the world (outside of fh and family) are my 2 bestfriends from grad school.

So....returned to NYC 2 years ago and have really struggled with this. My closest friends are very spread out. this is the first time I don't have a close core 'group' of friends that I see everyday and it's tough. I know things change as you get older, but I really struggle with this one after NEVER having been in a position before where I didn't have a group of close friends that you can just call up and go see everyday. Makes me want to move back to VA, but fh says there is basically no chance of that b/c of his job. Ugh.

My bestest friend I met in college when we sat in the back of the class and made snide comments about how dull the class was.....that was 7 1/2 years ago. My other best friend is my sister....it took quite a long time for us to get that way, but I am so glad that it manifested that way.

I moved after 10th grade and held onto some of my friends, but not for long. We all changed....I was in an abusive relationship in college, so I didn't have my own friends until I met the above mentioned best friend.

As for the girls in my bridal party...one was from my new high school.....she was the only one who befriended me. One I worked with in college. One was my stepbrothers girlfriend, so she is like another sister. Another girl I met at my 'real' job that I had in NY. Another was a wife of one of DH best friends and we became good friends in the 1 year she was living on LI before we all moved away.

While I don't talk to most of them all the time, I know we always pick up where we left off....which is a sign of true friendship.

ETA: I do find that making new friends DOES take a lot of effort and I find myself not really wanting to make new friends down here....acquantances, yes...people to hang out with and such, but I don't know if they will last the test of time and are trustworthy, ya know?

My bestest friend is the same....she refuses to make new friends, she told me one day that because she and I have been through so much together and we stuck by each other, even when there were months where we were so self-absorbed in our own lives, that we still thought about each other and when we got back together, it was like no time had ever passed....she doesn't feel she can have that bond with anyone else.

I moved around a few times growing up--I was born in Smithtown, but we moved to NJ before I started school, then we moved to Poughkeepsie before my freshman year in high school, and when I hated high school there I went to boarding school in CT for soph-senior year. Then I went upstate to college, and only moved to Long Island after graduating college. So I don't really have any friends I have known my whole life--DH always lived in the same town (other than going away to college), so he has a very close group of friends who all knew each other forever.

My best friend is from college. It was just one of those things where we clicked immediately, and she lives in Chicago now but whenever I see her it is like we never left off. She was my MOH.

I have a few other good friends from work--2 from my office I am very close to, and I actually met peabody (Tara) on LIW and talk to her more than my friends I knew for a long time! She works where I do, so I see and talk to her as much as anyone else.

DH has a ton of friends, but I think guys often do. I am picky about my friends--I expect a lot from them (remembering bdays, etc) but I also think I give a lot in return. Sometimes I wish I had more girl friends, but the ones I have are quality I do think I will always consider my mom one of my best friends though--she was such a support to me this past year.