Friends...when is enough finally enough?

I've had a friend since I was very young. We've been best friends for MANY years. But, during the last few years, it just seems like she is growing more and more negative. In the past, she was dealing with her own issues, she I didn't make a big deal out of the negativity.

But, now her life seems to be straightened out. But, it's like it makes her feel good to make me feel bad.

some examples:

she moved away. I had always said that I would be so happy if she came to my bridal shower. She didn't come and just flat out said, Sorry.

She had almost zero involvement with the wedding. I figured it was fine because she isn't married and never has been involved in any other weddings. But, when there was drama with DH's cousin, my friend didnt' handle it as 'lady like' as she could have

when I got the puppy, I sent her pics. All she said was 'it's scary that you're responsible for a living thing'

We have always exchanged BDay and XMAS gifts. This year, when she came to visit, she said she left them at home, but would send them. never did...

she was in NJ for 4 days, but couldn't make any solid plans. Finally, I convinced her to go to breakfast with me the day after XMas. My DH got VERY sick, and I forgot about breakfast. Friend got all mad at me. Well, I had been trying for a VERY LONG time to make other plans with her. We only planned Breakfast the night before.

Then, she asked me to fly out to FL to visit her, but was going to email me the dates. never did.

I just called to tell her that I injured my foot. She called me 'a total girl' for not going to work. Apparently, despite my Doctor's recommendation to stay off my foot, my friend thinks that I should be able to walk all around NYC. When I explained this to her, she just said, 'whatever'

then, she made fun of my puppy's name.

Finally, I got off the phone.

Don't know what to say excpet you have two choices..

1. End the friendship...it is tooo bothersome for you

2. you accept who she is and how she is and how she treats you...keep her at arms length..

Both are hard decisions..I have dealt with this before...I had a friend that i was very close to. We just seemed to grow apart...And no matter how hard i tried she annoyed the crap out of me. I stopped talking to her and returning her calls...
One day she called and asked to come to my shower...My mom said yes (without asking me first). I was impressed that she showed up and even though i gave her the cold shoulder the whole time...at the end she still came up to me sat and we talked...

So now i just take her for who she is...NOT a 'good' friend but someone i still want to be in my life

Honestly, eventhough you have been friends for years it just seem like her friendship is not worth fighting for. Your true friends are there with you through thick and thin and this person seems like she hasn't been. Don't worry about it, hopefully she realizes what a good friend you are but if she doesn't than its her loss.
Btw, I hope you foot heals and you feel better.

She sounds like an extremely selfish friend...you dont need that!

I had a difficult frienship like that and I walked away. That's what I'd suggest. For me, it was and still is hard from time to time. I tend to idealize my memories but then I'll remember something she said or did or re-read something from my blog from a long time ago, and be glad that I severed ties.

Good luck.

you dont need a friend like that someone who does that to you is not a true friend i would end the friendship because you have other friends who care about you and are there for you, like us! sorry she was so mean to you.

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Posted by TracyInQueens

I had a difficult frienship like that and I walked away. That's what I'd suggest. For me, it was and still is hard from time to time. I tend to idealize my memories but then I'll remember something she said or did or re-read something from my blog from a long time ago, and be glad that I severed ties.

Good luck.

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I had the same situation with a 'group' of friends (they did not exist as individuals, just as the group- it was so not worth it, I feel so much better as an individual than as part of the 'group')

I am sure you have plenty of individuals that fit into your life and are your 'friends.'

There's not use fighting for something that's not worth it. It seems that all your friendship has left is the 'time.' If you can at peace with stepping back and letting the friendship just drift, then that seems like it will be for the best for you.

I would start to slowly distance myself from this friend. She does seem to bring a whole lot of negativity along with her and you just don't need that in your life. I wouldn't cut her off completely because she just may still be going through some stuff in her own life that's making her be this way temporarily. But, I would say, call her less and less often, don't go visit in FL, etc.

Sorry you are going through this!