frozen plans

A lot of you girls know that my FMIL was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor last week. She is starting chemo and radiation in Connecticut this week.

The prognosis is kind of dreary...

With treatment, the average life span is about 12-16 months.

She told me and FH to continue planning and that she will be there for the wedding and how excited she is that we are getting married. My mom also said that we can't stop planning because you should never postpone a wedding and our wedding is not a giant, elaborate affair anyway so it's not inappropriate or anything.

The thing is that I feel so unmotivated and petty shopping for wedding stuff when FH is with his mom in a cancer treatment center.

I still have major things to check off of my list like invites, limos, tuxes, shoes, veil etc.

Any advice??

Thanks.
Erin

My friend is going through almost the same exact situation as you are. She moved forward with her plans, even though she didn't want to. And her wedding is at the end of March. I know that it is difficult but this is what your FMIL wants. We are all here for you. FM me if you want to talk.

Hugs & Prayers for FMIL, FH, & yourself

You should move along with the plans despite how uncomfortable you are--- She asked you to & she must really want to see her son get married--
But don't feel guilty. It is a wonderful and beautiful thing & even though I don't know her-- I'm sure she wants you both to be happy and enjoy this time.

I am going through the same situation right now with my mother. She was diagnosed with cancer a few days before christmas. We were planning on postponing everything, but my mom wanted us to move foward with our plans because she felt that is gives her hope and something to look foward too.

I have to say that my motivation is far and few between. If you need someone to talk to FM.

Georgia

i say go ahead with your plans, it may give FMIL something to look forward to & a reason to sustain herself for. Hope is such an important thing for people who are ill, and what's a better symbol of hope than a wedding?

My mother was Dx'd with Breast Cancer right after I was engaged & insisted that we not call off the wedding. I really think it was ultimately good for her & after months of being really ill now she's a survivor.

Good Luck!

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Posted by kat74

You should move along with the plans despite how uncomfortable you are--- She asked you to & she must really want to see her son get married--
But don't feel guilty. It is a wonderful and beautiful thing & even though I don't know her-- I'm sure she wants you both to be happy and enjoy this time.

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I agree, she wants you to keep going-regardless of her condition. She is in my thoughts and prayers and you and FH are too

This is kind of a toughie ~ I am sooo sorry to hear that you and your fh (+fmil/family) are going through this... but if she does not want you to stop your plans than I wouldn’t. Although I know I would probably feel like you unmotivated and sad... but when someone is sick they want something awesome to look forward to... actually this occasion will probably give her something wonderful to think about during her not so good days...Good Luck and my thoughts & prayers are with you during this time.