RE: I don't like the way that sounds

I was the one who wrote 'we have to pray that we will make our money back' (so we can go on the honeymoon that we would like). Luckily, we thought about our priorities, and we are only spending what we have saved (in cash), and will not be in wedding debt. Sorry that this disturbed some of you, but I didn't mean to sound like we forgot that this was a day to celebrate our love for each other. I even stated that we won't be going on a honeymoon, b/c we can't afford it (unless we get cash as gifts!).

Wedding costs-Long

I, too, choked when I started looking at bride magazines and websites and saw what was charged because it had the word 'wedding' attached. After my first evening online researching, I told my FI that everyone will have their hands out. And they do. I also relied on boards like this and The Knot to clue me in on less expensive alternatives. I stumbled on the Party City store's wedding area and got great deals. I got my pew bows off ebay at a great savings over what I was quoted by a florist for the bows. Certain things I splurged on, if I could use them again after the wedding, like silver candle holders for the Unity candle. I was thrilled that Coral House includes the bar, champagne toast, cake and centerpieces in the cost. I was also happy that they charged by the size of the room/guest number, and not a flat fee for every party. After all, a wedding for 75 is less work than a wedding for 250. We refuse to go into debt for the wedding, and will not put any portion on a credit card. We are paying for this ourselves, and don't want to start our married life in debt. If we do use a credit card, I will send the credit card the money in advance and run a credit balance to have the protection you get in retail matters from the credit card companies. I will do without many things that I can live without: ultra fancy stationary for the invites, the guest book, the garter, the extra tossing bouquet, among other things. I am printing my envelopes on my computer rather then getting a calligrapher. I will print the seating cards and ceremony booklet on the computer. I am learning how to nicely say no thank you to vendors who are quite savvy in getting people to pay more for things than they can afford. EX: The florist in our area wanted $650 per centerpiece (no, that is not a typo) and the local stationary store who shows you a book of invites that are reasonably priced, then brings out the expensive invites and tells you, 'What you chose in the other books can't hold a candle to these. You will change your mind.' I knew then that they would not get my business. I told them the invites where indeed works of art. Then I thought to myself, 'But at $2000 for 100 invites, I can't justify that expense.' People at work asked me if I would be more liberal in my spending if I were getting help from our families paying, and I still don't think I would. I am not good at spending other people's money. Reasearch is the key to doing a wedding well, without going into debt. Maybe I will write a book when this is all over!

Wedding costs-other things to bear in mind...

Diana had some good points, however the examples of cost savings that she mentioned might turn out to not be costs at all for many brides... Let me try to explain - regarding the Coral House - she's right, if they include all of those things in the price, than she got a good deal. Regarding pew bows & a tossing bouquet - I don't know why anyone would have to pay for these things at all! Negotiate with your florist to have these items (which are minimal cost to make) as extras in your floral package. Guest book and garter - I got at least two of each as gifts at my bridal shower, so I didn't have to spend my own money on them. All of these things are really small costs individually, but they can add up. My point is, there are ways to still include them in your wedding with no cost to you. To me, that's better than sacrificing an element that you might want during your special day. Just food for thought...

Nina...

We can't afford a honeymoon either. But if we go anywhere, it's to Florida. Disney and Universal. Anyway, what we told my mom and FMIL was that instead of people giving us household gifts for our shower, to give us gift certificates from Liberty Travel, so that way we could afford something. Another bride suggested it a while ago. I don't think you were on the board then. But I think that's a great idea. And since my Fiance and I have been living together for almost 3 years, we pretty much have everything already. Just an idea! Good luck!

Melissa

That's a great idea. I didn't know you could do that with a travel agency, I'll look into it. My FH and I have been living together for 3 years too! And, we also are not registering anywhere, b/c we have everything too. Thanks.