Frustrated!!!!!

So... from the moment i got engaged my mom said that she wanted to be involved with stuff and come to the halls with my FH and I. Fine. Long story short.. my mom started telling me about all the things my FH was doing wrong and things that he said to her that were wrong. (None of which i really remember hearing and probabaly thinks she took him the wrong way). So of course when she's mad she says things like how she's not gonna come to the wedding, calls his cheap (even though he got me additional gifts for christmas in addition to proposing christmas eve eve), and says that i'm gonna have a prob with him later on in my marriage.
So of course this makes me upset and about a day and 7 hours later she says that she overall thinks he's a good guy but sticks by her feeling hurt by the events the day before.
So whatever... yesterday we went looking at more halls. On the commericals during 24 my mom mentioned something like, 'i thought we were gonna go over the stuff now' I told her that we were both watching something and would do it later. So she goes upstairs to watch tv and i assume she fell asleep cuz she always does. So FH and i go over guest lists and stuff and come to decisions about a few things. So i call her today and she's obv. pissed off that she wasn't included and feels hurt by it. But she expresses this hurt through anger and sarcasim. Then she goes on another rant about how FH did stuff wrong yesterday even though he didn't but she still finds tons of things to criticize him on (even though she does all the things she said he does and says).

Now.. something important to mention, she isn't paying for our wedding. She did offer to help out a bit but my FH and I are paying for 90% of it on our own.
I feel like i can't have a difference of opinion and whenever i do she blames it on him, that he's influencing me blah blah blah.
I try to defend him but that makes her mad. I let her vent and say minimal and that makes her mad too!

My dad passed away about 11 yrs ago and i'm an only child so i am pretty much all she has which makes things 10x worse!!!

ugh

Sorry to hear all that...it does sound frustrating

Perhaps she's upset because she feels as if she's 'losing you' to your FH. I suggest you and your mom spend a day together and not talk about the wedding at all. Go shopping, or see a movie, have a nice dinner... something that's just the two of you.

She might need a gentle reminder that you will still need her after you get married.

that's exactly what it is. She DEF feels like she's losing me but she gets angry about it. At least if someone is sad it's easier to deal with then someone who is angry and then tells u and everyone else is wrong just to make themselves feel better.

i can't go another 2 years like this.

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Posted by AdriandSteve

that's exactly what it is. She DEF feels like she's losing me but she gets angry about it. At least if someone is sad it's easier to deal with then someone who is angry and then tells u and everyone else is wrong just to make themselves feel better.

i can't go another 2 years like this.

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If you spend time with just her, it may ease her anxiety.

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Posted by pa56

Perhaps she's upset because she feels as if she's 'losing you' to your FH. I suggest you and your mom spend a day together and not talk about the wedding at all. Go shopping, or see a movie, have a nice dinner... something that's just the two of you.

She might need a gentle reminder that you will still need her after you get married.

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ITA... my mom gets a little upset when im over FH's house all the time... she feels like she know shes gonna lose me soon (as in moving out) but she doesnt see why it has to start from now ya know

yeah. FH and i are gonna move in together probably in like 6-12 months or so.
This will obv. cause more fighting.

It's just so hard to say, 'hey, come on mom, lets go do something together' when she acts like this and just gets upset at me for every little thing!