My friend decided she wanted pink shoes to go with our brown t-length bridesmaid dresses, so I ordered them online before I left for Europe. I checked e-mail from Europe and she says she now wants white strappy shoes dyed brown (which we wanted from the beginning.) Ok, her wedding is next week and I'm still in Europe. And I just spent $50 on the other pink shoes I'll never wear again. Have to see if I can return them to Zappos. Annoying.
This is my real frustration. Get back from Europe (with no luggage btw, it's still in France), and there's a message on my machine from my friend. 'Welcome Back, XXX bought your shoes so you can reimburse her when you see her and I let my DJ know that you could drive him to Massachussetts from Brooklyn because you'll have room in your car. I knew it wouldn't be a problem, but if it is for some strange reason, I'll just have to dish out some more money that I don't have to rent him a car or something .... I'll see you soon.' Sorry, but would you want to drive 5 1/2 hours with some DJ? I can't even call her right now I'm so upset.
prncssrachel
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Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid
Um, is he dj-ing the wedding? becuase if he is, friend or not, it's his responsibility as a vendor to supply his own transportation, and if they agreed that your friend would provide his transportation, then yes, she should have to rent him a car or pay for some other form of transportation. That is totally unacceptable in my book. If it was just someone else attending the wedding, then maybe it would be ok, but to assume that yuo would have room for this guy and his equipment is out of line.
matron
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Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid
I don't know how much equipment this guy has, but I'm sure we'd have to take my hubbie's Blazer which is currently jam packed with 30,000 tools and boat stuff that we'd have to unload to fit this stranger's stuff in there. It's just weird. Her friends are not like mine, so I know we won't just 'hit it off' either. I've gotta say no.
OMG, I'm seeing her tomorrow. I know I'm gonna be weak and not be able to say no and then DH is gonna kill me.
Some guy called from a truck. HE's aimlessly driving around with my luggage trying to find my house. I should have stayed in Europe.
matron
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Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid
DH just called and said, 'We're taking the ferry. We live all the way out in Suffolk. I'm not driving to Brooklyn to pick up a stranger and his equipment to come all the way back to where we started from. He's not coming. End of story.' Yikes, this is gonna be rough.
bxgell2
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Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid
Posted by matron
DH just called and said, 'We're taking the ferry. We live all the way out in Suffolk. I'm not driving to Brooklyn to pick up a stranger and his equipment to come all the way back to where we started from. He's not coming. End of story.' Yikes, this is gonna be rough.
And you were making fun of me about the ferry thing! I would tell her that you were planning on taking the ferry because it will make the trip MUCH shorter... just doesn't make sense to drive out to Brooklyn... she HAS to know other people from NY that are driving that can pick him up! And even if not, it costs sooooo little to rent a car for one or two days...
JacnRob729
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Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid
Is there anyone else that you KNOW, and Like, that could jump in the car with you so that all of a sudden there is no room for the DJ? That would be a good out!
jaspice
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Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid
Excuse me but it is the DJ's responsibility to get himself his equipment and his records/cds, etc to the location. This is not her responsibility or yours, let him rent his own car or ask someone else he knows. I mentioned this to my Fi who is in the business and he has been laughing for the last 5 minutes. This is far and beyond the responsibilities of a BM or MOH.
Elaina
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Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid
wow
buckles
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Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid
I am so sorry you are going through this. This is a really tough situation. I find it so tough to stand up for myself with the people that I care most about a lot of the time but turn the situation around....If she knew how upset and put out this really made you I am sure she would be upset with herself for putting you in that predicament.
I say just tell her outright, in a very nice way, that it is completely out of the way. He has other options. If he is in Brooklyn he can go to priceline.com and rent a very inexpensive car or call other car rental places for various other means of transport. She is probably so wrapped up in wedding arrangements that she doesn't realize how put out she is making you.
Good Luck!
butterfly20
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Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid
how about the dj drive himself....... how about getting a dj that lives close to the reception
tina_cuse01
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Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid
Sorry you are going through this, the balls on some people. But I would just say, oh sorry got your msg the other day. We aren't going to be going that way after all, as we are taking the ferry. And might extend (MIGHT being the key word here) our trip and make a mini-vacation out of it.
sweetadeline
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Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid
Posted by september2004
i would do it for her but explain that you did NOT like her approach to the situation. tell her right of the bat that you will consider doing it (that is, if you want to) but that you would have much rather been asked than told. clear the air asap so no resentment builds. i would be totally annoyed, but i would probably do it for her anyway...
I agree with this advice. As for the shoes, all you soon-to-be brides out there take note: if there's something you want from your bridesmaids, say so early on in the wedding process, let them respond, and stick with your decision once you've made it! My sister recently had a very similar experience as a bridesmaid for a gal who couldn't decide on dresses! ('Get whatever dress you want. No, wait. Get something pink. No, wait. It doesn't have to be pink, but it has to be Jim Hjelm. No, wait...')
Maribelle7777
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Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid
Holy cow. First off, why didn't she just get a DJ that lives in MA? Or one that DRIVES? So where is he going to put all the DJ equiptment..in your car? And how RUDE of her to just tell you to do it. It's her wedding she should either ask you or make him rent a damn car himself!
And the shoe situation. Tell her you don't think it's fair she changed her mind while you were away and you would appreciate it if she paid for your shoes. Or pay for the other ones you bought (if you can't return them).
I think that is more than fair especially if you have to drive the dj to the wedding.
ETA: I saw your DH doesn't want to drive the DJ and wants to take the ferry. Does the ferry accept reservations you have to make beforehand? If so, tell her you made reservations already on the ferry not knowing she wanted you to do this. However to be honest I would sit her down after the wedding and tell her it was not right or fair of her to assume you could drive her DJ to the wedding. People have lives, and yes if she asked you and maybe gave you more time you may have done it but she should have been more considerate about it.
I still think she should pay for your shoes though.
Blu-ize
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Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid
OMG!!!! No, No. No...do not do this. I suspect that your friend has done this type of rude and compromising stuff to you before. Stop it in it's tracks. People have to take responsibility for themselves including us brides (me former bride). The DJ will miraculously make it to her wedding without your help.
As for the shoes...well...I can't even speak anymore!!!!
Sorry you are going through this. I hope Europe was wonderful.
