Frustrated Bridesmaid

matron Posted: Aug 26, 2004 05:33 PM

Frustrated Bridesmaid

My friend decided she wanted pink shoes to go with our brown t-length bridesmaid dresses, so I ordered them online before I left for Europe. I checked e-mail from Europe and she says she now wants white strappy shoes dyed brown (which we wanted from the beginning.) Ok, her wedding is next week and I'm still in Europe. And I just spent $50 on the other pink shoes I'll never wear again. Have to see if I can return them to Zappos. Annoying.

This is my real frustration. Get back from Europe (with no luggage btw, it's still in France), and there's a message on my machine from my friend. 'Welcome Back, XXX bought your shoes so you can reimburse her when you see her and I let my DJ know that you could drive him to Massachussetts from Brooklyn because you'll have room in your car. I knew it wouldn't be a problem, but if it is for some strange reason, I'll just have to dish out some more money that I don't have to rent him a car or something .... I'll see you soon.' Sorry, but would you want to drive 5 1/2 hours with some DJ? I can't even call her right now I'm so upset.

marymoon Posted: Aug 26, 2004 05:35 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

All I can say is 'wow' and be glad your time as a BM is coming to an end.

ering Posted: Aug 26, 2004 05:38 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

geez... will there be anyone else in the car with you? Does anyone know him personally? What about all of his equipment?

matron Posted: Aug 26, 2004 05:38 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

I guess I should have asked how I should kindly tell her that this makes me uncomfortable? The DJ is a friend of hers. Am I making a bigger deal of this than it is? My DH feels weird about it too. We don't even know the guy....I don't think she really knows him that well either. I'm assuming his equipment comes with him. She's just such a free-spirited person that I know it wouldn't be a big deal to her, but it is to us. I don't want to travel with this guy.

randella Posted: Aug 26, 2004 05:43 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

She should have asked you first without a doubt-- but if it is another friend trying to hook someone else up with a ride- that kind of stuff happens all the time with these kinds of events..

Will you be in the car with your DH??

Look at it this way- you'll get some gas money!

the shoe thing is totally annoying.

matron Posted: Aug 26, 2004 05:44 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

Yeah, it's a friend hooking a friend up with a ride, that's why I feel like a total beeyatch if i say no, but i have to. I just don't have it in me, esp when i see my friend face to face tomorrow. she just won't get it and will think i'm being nasty.

MrsBrad Posted: Aug 26, 2004 05:52 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

That's just rude...! I'm sorry

james'pokey Posted: Aug 26, 2004 06:08 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!

november12003 Posted: Aug 26, 2004 06:12 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

You should NOT drive the DJ. I can't even believe she considered that!

september2004 Posted: Aug 26, 2004 06:23 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

Posted by november12003

You should NOT drive the DJ. I can't even believe she considered that!

i would do it for her but explain that you did NOT like her approach to the situation. tell her right of the bat that you will consider doing it (that is, if you want to) but that you would have much rather been asked than told. clear the air asap so no resentment builds. i would be totally annoyed, but i would probably do it for her anyway...

ering Posted: Aug 26, 2004 06:26 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

can you maybe say that your DH is uncomfortable with it so it kind of gets the point across without putting you in the middle?

Scoop Posted: Aug 26, 2004 06:34 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

I can't believe she didn't ask you first? How rude!

SomedayBride Posted: Aug 26, 2004 06:36 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

Does she expect you to drive him home too? I don't know what I'd do in this situation, but I would be pissed! Do you have any other friends along the way? Maybe you could tell her, oh, I wouldn't mind driving him, but we're stopping to visit so and so. Or if she expects you to drive him home, maybe you could say that you're extending your trip a bit and taking the scenic route home with various stops along the way?
That's really a tough situation to be in, I think I'd probably end up doing it though, and not saying anything. (not that that's the thing to do, I'm just a big baby when it comes to confrontation.)

JimmysBride Posted: Aug 26, 2004 06:41 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

Oh my! That's ALOT to ask, er - excuse me, EXPECT your BM to do without even asking!! I don't blame you for being upset!

dm24angel Posted: Aug 26, 2004 07:40 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

oh lordy! I dont like driving with anyone so that would be a BIG problem for me!
The shoe thing is hilarious and scary. I would never do that to any of my girls..
All I can say is hang in there, it will all be over soon!

Mishu Posted: Aug 26, 2004 07:56 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

My lord people are oblivious

matron Posted: Aug 26, 2004 08:22 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

Posted by SomedayBride

Does she expect you to drive him home too? I don't know what I'd do in this situation, but I would be pissed! Do you have any other friends along the way? Maybe you could tell her, oh, I wouldn't mind driving him, but we're stopping to visit so and so. Or if she expects you to drive him home, maybe you could say that you're extending your trip a bit and taking the scenic route home with various stops along the way?
That's really a tough situation to be in, I think I'd probably end up doing it though, and not saying anything. (not that that's the thing to do, I'm just a big baby when it comes to confrontation.)

I thought about saying this but feel SO guilty lying. I suck at it too.

palebride Posted: Aug 26, 2004 08:28 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

Welcome Back!!!

I think you should tell her you'd do it, but let her know that you're a little put off that she would offer you as a driver without ever asking you.....and that you would never do that to her.

brooklynbridezilla Posted: Aug 26, 2004 08:32 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

I let my DJ know that you could drive him to Massachussetts from Brooklyn because you'll have room in your car. I knew it wouldn't be a problem, but if it is for some strange reason, I'll just have to dish out some more money that I don't have to rent him a car or something

Oh. My. Goodness. The balls on some people.
Can you even fit him and his equiptment? DJ's have huge speakers and tables and stuff. I wonder if you are supposed to bring him home too? LOL, tell her you are taking a Greyhound, or Amtrak.

Good luck!

BlondeJD Posted: Aug 26, 2004 08:38 PM

Re: Frustrated Bridesmaid

Oooh, she's got some brass. I love the 'some strange reason' line. How about this for a strange reason: spending 5+ hours in the car with some guy you don't know. What nerve! Some people forget that even though it's their wedding, common courtesy still applies and the world does not revolve around them.