Frustrated & Pi$$ed at FH...vent (long)

Ladies, I'm so pi##ed at Fh.

He went to a golf outing on Monday (& didn't golf), yet he still left the house at 7 am & didn't walk in the door until 10:30pm---he had called at 4 & said dinner was soon (I was expecting him at 6 or so). So first reason I'm mad--no call...

Second, for 3 wks I been on him about our finances. We have a joint acct. for our wed stuff & up until 3 wks ago has been awesome w/ depositing his check, etc. HOWEVER, then our May cc bill came in (over 5k) mainly b/c our couches were on it & his 57 inch TV that he had to have. I told him 3x to make sure he puts his $ into the bank b/c I was paying the bill etc.

Long story short, its 3 wks later & I been juggling money & went into our overdrawn acct., etc. He told me this was b/c he was expecting a check for some stocks, however, that check I've yet to see (its still expected).

Today I go online & see he took $600 out of OUR joint wedding acct. on Monday!!! ***?!

We haven't been on speaking terms since that nite b/c I was mad about his non-call & also the state of the apt. on Tues (when he had the day off). He slept on couch last night.

So, here I am trying to juggle our bills (generally I pay the bills for monthly expenses & he puts his $ into our wed acct) & he is using the money to play cards or whatever else he did on Monday at the outing??

I am SOOOOOOOOOOO red right now at him. I text messaged him & told him I need the $ ASAP! NO response. My stomach has been in knots for 2 days & I hate feeling like this...

Sorry this is so long, but he refuses to see what a big deal this is & I've also been immature leaving nasty notes for him & accusing him of things (which he has not done). Before now he keeps shushing me w/ 'when the check comes in, everything will be taken care of.'

URRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Thanks for letting me vent ladies.

I am sorry that you are going through this Cindy I hope things imrove between you and your FI...thats an awful feeling

I am always here for you

I am so sorry you are going through this!

I am sorry you are having this fight.

A lot of couples fight about money. Even me and my FI had some tense conversations. (and we rarely fight)

I think however that you and your FI should talk - not about the specific problem of this particular bill, but about how you will manage money in general. It sounds like the system you have (you pay bills, he adds money to the account sometime) isn't working.

Some things to talk about:
1. How are major purchases handled? (Do you save up and then buy, put it on the CC and then pay it off).
2. Home your money will organized. You should be able to move this money yourself.
3. Do you have a budget?
4. How much do you want to save? What do you want to save for?

You'll need to wait until everyone cools down to have this conversation -- but do it soon.
Good luck

I hate men! I really friggin hate them!!!!

---

Posted by aliciahelene


I hate men! I really friggin hate them!!!!

---

Thanks ladies...he finally answered my text msg back & after re-checking w/ my bank, I see that he had taken out $80. on Monday, the other money was something else....

Yet we are still both being immature & playing these head games w/ e/o (I'm going to be home late...have fun with whomever...)

I'm just soooo mad though & I refuse to give in. He doesn't realize how upset I am & why I am. He keeps blowing it off like no big deal & that is making things worse.

I agree w/ re-working our $ system. We had just moved hence our big charges & he really has been great w/ depositing money & working OT--yet I'd like to definitely sit down w/ him & say look, this is our budget, this is what we can/can't do.

I'm also mad b/c I told him last week I wanted to go to a band showcase tonight....obviously that is not going to happen now.

Alicia....thanks

Sounds like you guys really need to cut out the 'I'm not speaking to you' business and communicate!! It's important that you learn how to deal with these situations in a more productive way before you get married!

---

Posted by JimmysBride

Sounds like you guys really need to cut out the 'I'm not speaking to you' business and communicate!! It's important that you learn how to deal with these situations in a more productive way before you get married!

---

I fully agree. It's all a matter of being stubborn & immature & a little issue keeps getting bigger & bigger....

Awww Cindy...I hope that every thing works out....as I know it will. He's just being stubborn about it and it doesn't help that he can't see why you are upset. Men, I tell you...can't live with them, can't live without them!! Take it easy and hang in there. Things will be better in no time. Communication is the key to every thing...need to talk about all of these things!!

Marissa

I have problems with my FH and depositing money into our account so I know how it feels.

Sorry that happened Hope things are getting better

As for the $$ why don't you have his portion of the $ direct deposited into your joint account? This way you don't have to wait for him and the money is always there for you to write the bills, etc. I know most companies let you split your check into about 2 or 3 accounts.

Good luck!

Awww, I'm sorry you're going through this. I hope everything works out. FH and I argue over money all the time. We just opened a joint account now after being together for 6 years. We're hoping that those problems won't exist anymore. Good Luck

wow are we dating the same man?

i toooooooootally feel your pain- like total.

the no call thing makes me soo freakin pised

as for the money- im sure he has a good explainaiton- and if you find that your arrangement is not working, maybe you might want to set it up diferently.

i hate the feeling of not being happy with fh,
however if you dont stiuck to your guns he will continue to do those things.

good luck- im sure it will turn out alright- just have a talk with him.

sorry sweetie!!!

I'm so sorry. I hope things get better It stinks being mad

I would be so mad! And really upset. My FH and I have this fight occasionally about the 'rent check' he gives me each month. Money is definately the biggest issue we fight about. I just think they can be so irresponsible with it.