FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

My FSIL had originally asked her husband's sister from Scotland. They never heard if they were coming so they assumed they would not be making it. Without knowing 100% they asked me on Monday straight out to be the Godmother because they were pretty sure she was not coming in. Pretty sure!! Well, today she had my FI call me to tell me that they had bad news, they were coming in from Scotland so I could not be the Godmother. All week FSIL was calling me Godmother and I went looking for a gown. And when my FI and I were standing together with the baby she said 'oh how perfect Noelle and her Godparents' The worst part is she wanted to know if instead I could be the official photographer I was so hurt. She never should have asked me unless they knew 100%. And then she could not even call me herself. I acted like it didn't bother me on the phone but I have been crying so much since he told me. I am so angry. Thank you for letting me vent

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

I am so sorry
Hope all works out for you

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

Hmm, I wouldn't feel too bad because it does not sound like they are thinking too seriously about their decision for a godmother. I mean, isn't a godparent someone who can look after your child in the event something terrible happens? how can someone in Scotland look after your child in an emergency? (and yes, I know I am being a little ridiculous with my answer, but I just wanted to make you feel better! )

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

Oh, that wasn't very nice of her. I'm sorry. Sometimes people just don't think.

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

Thanks girls I don't think they ever took it seriously and I don't think they thought I would be so honored and excited. I felt so proud when I thought I would be her Godmother. My FSIL was just thinking that if Scotland didn't come then no one would be standing up at the church with them and FI.

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

That must feel awful. How could she do that to you. I would be so mad, and very hurt by her actions

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

As someone who takes things seriously and personally, I understand how hurt you must be. Cheer up honey, your niece is lucky to have an aunt who cares so much. That's the MOST important thing!

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

Dont worry. My owm sis didnt ask me and now regrets it after asking his cousin!

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

im so sorry, thats not very nice of them to do, it doesnt sound like they are thinking about this. A godparent is suppose to be there for moral support and all, having you near them is alot easier than someone across the world..

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

Sounds like she was being very thoughtless when she asked you, and that to her, being a godparent has no more importance than just being there on one particular day. You will be a wonderful aunt, with or without the 'godmother' title!

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

Im so sorry. I would be so upset too. That is so wrong... BIG to you.

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

Okay, I don't like to be one to pass judgement, but what they did was wrong and hurtful!!!

I am so sorry for you

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

I'm sorry

At least she went with her original choice and didn't randomly change her mind (looking for that silver lining).

And have comfort knowing that because of proximity, you will have a stronger relationship.

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

wow, i think that is extremely rude of them. to ask such a thing and take it back - very rude.

and why you would want the godmother of your child to be so far away is beyond me!!!!! i agree that they do not take the godparent process very seriously. i make it a point to see my goddaughter at least once a week - and their parents know in a bind, i am always there for them.

try not to be too hurt!!

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

Thanks girls Today I woke up so angry at them It might take awhile for me to get over this. That might sound weird but I took it so seriously Time heals all wounds I don't want me anger to affect my relationship with the baby. I will definetly be the bigger person but I am going to lay low with his sister for awhile.

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

That wasnt right the way she handled it. She should of waited to see if the sister was coming from Scotland for sure or not. I wouldnt take it personally though because I dont think she meant to hurt you, but she should of thought alot more before she asked you, etc.

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

Well I have to agree, that was soooo horrible of her!!! She should have found out forsure without thinking....maybe they won't be coming. Anyway nothing you can do about and she might possibly regret her decision at a later time....that is far for the a god parent to live.

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

Every Sunday night for 2yrs we go over FSIL's house and have dinner and watch HBO. I really don't want to go tonight. I am still very hurt. Do you think this is immature?

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

i think you should talk to them about this. obviously you are very upset and your feelings are hurt. you don't want something like this to fester and build resentment any worse than it already is. for her to take you gown shopping for the baby and then change her mind is rude and inconsiderate and she should be called on it. she needs to understand just how upset and hurt you are. maybe if your FI calls today and says you will not be going over there tonight, it will start a conversation.

good luck!!