FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

Original post by nov2004bride

Mar 13, 2004 10:19 PM

My FSIL had originally asked her husband's sister from Scotland. They never heard if they were coming so they assumed they would not be making it. Without knowing 100% they asked me on Monday straight out to be the Godmother because they were pretty sure she was not coming in. Pretty sure!! Well, today she had my FI call me to tell me that they had bad news, they were coming in from Scotland so I could not be the Godmother. All week FSIL was calling me Godmother and I went looking for a gown. And when my FI and I were standing together with the baby she said 'oh how perfect Noelle and her Godparents' The worst part is she wanted to know if instead I could be the official photographer I was so hurt. She never should have asked me unless they knew 100%. And then she could not even call me herself. I acted like it didn't bother me on the phone but I have been crying so much since he told me. I am so angry. Thank you for letting me vent

Maribelle7777 Posted: Mar 14, 2004 11:04 AM

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

I don't think that the Church would frown upon it if the baby had 2 Godmothers. Your FSIL could have said oh they're coming so I will have both you and she be the godmothers.

No hurt feelings.

What she did was thoughtless to you. I'm sorry you're upset.

michele31 Posted: Mar 14, 2004 11:10 AM

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

When they asked her family from Scotland to be Godmother that didn't mean that the person actually had to be in the Church. You can have a 'stand-in' person and still name someone else. My friend was a 'stand-in' when her SIL's sister had an emergency and couldn't come to the Church.
What they should have done is ask you to be the stand-in person.
Chosing a Godparent should not be about who can or cannot attend a ceremony. It is about A LOT more than that IMO.
(But just to clarify- naming someone Godparent does not mean that you would Will your children to that person if something happened to you. It has NO legal standing.) It is suppose to be someone who will help your child grow up sprititally.
What they did was hurtful to you. Plain and Simple. I would tell them straight out 'what you did has hurt me very badly and I want you to know that.' and then don't bring it up anymore. There is nothing you can do at this
point. These people do not seem like a very thoughtful couple. Just focus on your wedding and your upcoming plans.

Editted to add: My nephew has my sister and I has his godmothers BUT the church only has one name on the christening record. you cannot have 2 godmothers officially, but unoffically you can. But I would never ask your FSIL to change her mind. It seems to me that she wanted her sister to be the Godmother but thought she had to attend in order to be.

nov2004bride Posted: Mar 14, 2004 11:22 AM

Re: FSIL asked me to be her daughters Godmother then took it back

Thanks I do feel bad for the women from Scotland because she does not even know this went on. And I feel bad for her because now she is the Godmother and will not even know her Goddaughter They only come in once a year, if that. I just wish this whole thing was handled differently!

My cousin also has 2 Godmothers but only my mom is the 'official' Godmother.