FH and I both decided that we would each pick our own Bridesmaids and Groomsmen and would not tell the other who to choose or try to influence each others decision. We each have 7 people each. I picked my sister (MOH), 3 cousins and 3 best friends. FH picked his brother (BM), 3 friends, my brother (who he is very close with) and asked his brother in law (his sister’s husband) and his nephew (his sister’s son) to be groomsmen. We asked his brother in law and nephew at our engagement party back in February who told us that they wanted to think about it and they will get back to us, and that they would let their son who is 15 decide on his own but they wanted to talk to him about first. Ok, fine. Then a few weeks later, in March, FH’s brother in law called him and asked him if his wife (FH’s sister) is going to be a bridesmaid. First, I think that is so rude to have your husband call and ask my FH is she’s in it. You just don’t do that. So he told him, no, that I have a very large family and a lot of first cousins (34) so its important to me that my family and my best friends are my bm and I am not even close with FH’s sister. I’ve never even had a one on one conversation with her before, we are just not that close, we don’t talk to each other, and on top of that she has been very rude to me many times in the past. I just don’t think that she likes me. Anyway, it is now October and we were still waiting for an answer! So FH asked his sister last week if they have an answer and she told us they wanted to talk to us in person about it. So last night we went over to her house and FH’s brother in law told us that he is declining our offer because if his wife is not in it, than he is not going to do it either. So I got pissed and was like, Ok, no offense, but this is OUR wedding. I can’t plan an entire wedding while trying to make everyone else happy. We have to do what makes US happy and it was my own personal decision as to who I want in my bridal party and I don’t think it’s fair for anyone to criticize my decision. So he was like, well, it’s not fair that your sister is in it and so is you brother, but FH’s sister is not in it. So I was like, well, its was FH’s own decision to have my brother as a GM bc they are very close. He made his choices and I made mine, and no offense but FSIL and I are not very close at all and it’s no ones business about decisions for OUR wedding! So then they tell us that they don’t want their son in it either because it’s not fair to their daughter because she’s not in it! What! She is 11 years old and she is not my niece? So why would she be a bridesmaid? She is too young anyway to be a bridesmaid. They are obviously not letting him do it to try and punish us because they are pissed that we didn’t ask FH’s sister! And, we asked their OTHER son, who is 5 to be a ring bearer and she told us No a few months ago, because we asked her oldest son and her youngest son, and again, that wouldn’t be fair to their daughter if both her brothers are in it but not her. Is it just me or is she crazy? So, she basically wants all 5 members of her family to be in my bridal party! And I don’t even have a close relationship with them at all! She doesn’t even seem to like me because she doesn’t even talk to me at family functions! I am so mad...honestly, is it just me, or is she out of her mind?
causeimb
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
Whoa she is defitnely crazy!!!!! What did your FH say to all of this?
JessMxPx88
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
Posted by causeimb
Whoa she is defitnely crazy!!!!! What did your FH say to all of this?
Yea, that's another problem. He just sits there and says nothing because he doesn't want to 'upset anyone' and tells me to do the same so there are no problems.
shelby34
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
ugh, that is a big mess! I think you just need to go with what you want for your day and let her be mad.
kris01
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
omg - she is nuts!! it is your wedding and you should have who you want in your BP. Good Luck!!!!!!!
-Kris
JessMxPx88
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
Posted by shelby34
ugh, that is a big mess! I think you just need to go with what you want for your day and let her be mad.
Yeah, whatever. Im not gonna let it bother me. And we will just 2 other guys to replace his BIL and nephew. I just feel bad for FH because he is very, very close with his nephew and really wanted him as a GM.
causeimb
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
Posted by JessMxPx88
Posted by causeimb
Whoa she is defitnely crazy!!!!! What did your FH say to all of this?
Yea, that's another problem. He just sits there and says nothing because he doesn't want to 'upset anyone' and tells me to do the same so there are no problems.
Seems to be they're already upset so what now? Take they're crap. Nooooooo!!!!!!! That's his family he needs to speak up. Have you two thought about having his sister stand with him?
JessMxPx88
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
Posted by causeimb
Posted by JessMxPx88
Posted by causeimb
Whoa she is defitnely crazy!!!!! What did your FH say to all of this?
Yea, that's another problem. He just sits there and says nothing because he doesn't want to 'upset anyone' and tells me to do the same so there are no problems.
Seems to be they're already upset so what now? Take they're crap. Nooooooo!!!!!!! That's his family he needs to speak up. Have you two thought about having his sister stand with him?
I completely agree. I think he should be the one to speak bc its his family and he was the one who asked them to be GMs, not me. So he should say something but it's like he's afraid of them. So then, I just spoke up. lol
OrangeGrl
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
I agree! I am so lucky my FSIL is awesome, she even convinced my FMIL and FFIL to pay for flowers and the rehersal dinner YAY!
SN2BMRSBURTE
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
I think you are better off not having any of them in the wedding anyway, because of how FSIL sounds ( I wish they had a cuckoo smilecon!) I guess at least you know all this now, and hopefully there won't be any more issues with her. Good Luck
giggles62
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
That is rude. People just dont understand. Your better off not having any of them in the wedding then. Your FSIL was rude.
JessMxPx88
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
Ok, I just wanted to make sure that it was just not me! Because FH and FMIL both say that its not a big deal and understand where FSIL is coming from and that I am overeacting and getting mad about nothing...just wanted to get everyone else's opinion and make sure that IM not the crazy one here!
HelenZ
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
I don't think you should be bullied into who you choose to have in your bridal party. My FSIL when she got married had her SIL as maid of honor, but her brother (the husband) wasn't one of the GM's- thankfully they didn't make a stink about it. Somehow I think it just gets more catty when it's a woman who feels slighted.
Ignore this woman as best you can and let FH deal with her.
Happybride2005
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
the bridal party should be who your close too. dh brother couldn't understand why his wife wasn't in the bridal party. all the weddings he's been to, the in laws are always in the bridal. once dh talked to him, he understand. when she sees me, she hardly says anything to me.
good luck
JessMxPx88
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
Posted by Happybride2005
the bridal party should be who your close too. dh brother couldn't understand why his wife wasn't in the bridal party. all the weddings he's been to, the in laws are always in the bridal. once dh talked to him, he understand. when she sees me, she hardly says anything to me.
good luck
Some people are just impossible. I don't think anyone should expect to be in someone else's bridal party. At least I know that Im not the only one going through this
Happybride2005
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
Posted by JessMxPx88
Posted by Happybride2005
the bridal party should be who your close too. dh brother couldn't understand why his wife wasn't in the bridal party. all the weddings he's been to, the in laws are always in the bridal. once dh talked to him, he understand. when she sees me, she hardly says anything to me.
good luck
Some people are just impossible. I don't think anyone should expect to be in someone else's bridal party. At least I know that Im not the only one going through this
she didn't even come to the bachelorette party. i knew she probably would come. it will get better
Michy
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
Don't allow them to dictate who you should and shouldn't have in your BP. Yur FH sister is acting immature. Unfortunately now her son can't even be in the BP and I am sure he was looking forward to it.
JessMxPx88
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
Posted by Michy
Don't allow them to dictate who you should and shouldn't have in your BP. Yur FH sister is acting immature. Unfortunately now her son can't even be in the BP and I am sure he was looking forward to it.
She is always like this, so am I not surprised. And FH is not that close with his BIL anyway so that doesn't bother us that he doesn't want to be in it, but I think it is so messed up that they wont let FH's nephew do it just because they are mad that she wasn't asked to be a BM. He is 15 years old and should be allowed to make his own decision if he wants to be in it or not.
sunflower13
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
Whoa!!! Sounds loco...the sad thing is that they will probably regret it on the day of your wedding and see how special and beutiful your big day is...There loss
snydl40
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Re: FSIL is driving me nuts!
Wacko! The nerve of some people-I am glad you stood your ground-good for you.
