Funerals and flowers

NIHA Posted: Oct 20, 2003 08:04 PM

Funerals and flowers

I feel weird posting about this, but I'm not sure what is appropriate. My best friends's sister passed away from cancer last night.

I want to send flowers, but not one of those funeral-type arrangements because I don't like them, and they are too expensive. I would like to send a simple pretty boquet.
1-800 flowers has some small arrangements. Should I send them to the funeral home or my friend's parents house? The wake is on Tues and Weds and the funeral mass and burial are on Thurs. I will be going both on Tues and Weds and to the mass on Thurs.

JENHOS Posted: Oct 20, 2003 08:07 PM

Re: Funerals and flowers

You can also send or even drop off (homemade cookies or treats) We found the flowers to be overwhelming at my moms wake and they had to go to waste because there were SO many. Otherwise I would send a plant-something that flowers eventually, maybe an african vilet in a basket. (cheaper and something they can keep-I have one from my moms and while it came from her wake I think of her everytime I look at it)

Just some thoughts

KathleenG Posted: Oct 20, 2003 08:08 PM

Re: Funerals and flowers

You could probably do either, but I believe the funeral home is where the majority sends flowers. to you and your friend.

wacky Posted: Oct 20, 2003 08:08 PM

Re: Funerals and flowers

We sent a plant to our friends and they loved that idea. They have it in their home

Boop2704 Posted: Oct 20, 2003 08:26 PM

Re: Funerals and flowers

At many of my families funerals, people have sent a vase of roses. They sent them to the funeral home and they were beautiful. It was also nice because after the wake, the families were able to take that vase of flowers home because it was so small.

If this was a young person, you may want to send flowers or something to the house instead. My brother was young when he died, and there were over 100 arrangements at the funeral home. They could not even bring them all in. Unfortunately, it was a waste of money. But one thing that someone did that was really nice, was they went to the local deli and ordered a platter of sandwiches and salads and had them sent to the house for our family that came back to the house inbetween sessions. Just a suggestion!!!

Sorry about your friends and your loss!!

halloweenbride04 Posted: Oct 20, 2003 08:31 PM

Re: Funerals and flowers

I always like sending a peace lily or dish garden, this way a family member can take it home with them. The funeral arrangements a gorgeous but expensive I agree and most cemetery's only allow you to bring a few pieces to the grave and sadly the rest wind up in a dumpster

I'm sorry about your friends sister. I'll keep her family in my prayers!

NIHA Posted: Oct 20, 2003 09:00 PM

Re: Funerals and flowers

So, if I send something that they would take home, shouldn't I jsut send it to the house to make it easier for them?

Wendy Posted: Oct 20, 2003 09:07 PM

Re: Funerals and flowers

First some to you and your best friend. I think that one thing you could do (and I am sure that the family would appreciate it) would be to send food to the house. Perhaps some sandwiches or a deli platter or something else that would help take the work off them.

However if you do decide to send flowers you might want to send a plant or something in a basket that the family can take home with them.

holly231 Posted: Oct 20, 2003 09:08 PM

Re: Funerals and flowers

I would definitely send them to their house. Kabloom has BEAUTIFUL things to choose from and last LONG>....My moms roses I sent her thru there lasted almost 2 weeks...they are shipped overnight and are absolutely gorgeous!! I would Highly Highly recommend them!!

to you and your friends family!

wc0143 Posted: Oct 20, 2003 09:23 PM

Re: Funerals and flowers

I agree $$ on flowers is almost like throwing $$ away. And while I also agree the food idea is a kind gesture, the family usually has those arragements made already if they are expecting people at their home in between the viewings. Why not make a donation to a cancer chairty in her name?

JENHOS Posted: Oct 20, 2003 09:36 PM

Re: Funerals and flowers

I would send it to the house. You could even wait till after the wake and funeral are over. Sometimes it is nice to know people are still thinking about you after the 'craziness' is over.

Your friend will really appreciate you just being there for her!

yabbobay Posted: Oct 20, 2003 09:48 PM

Re: Funerals and flowers

1. don't buy from 1800flowers...at 2 different funerals they didn't send arrangements from out of towners...one was my BILs parents so he was looking for it...the other was my moms friend...and she asked about the flowers...but I can't imagine how many people they rip off b/c people don't notice-call a local florist (plus 1800flowers overcharges)

2. i think food is always a great thing for families in morning....sent to their house

ChristineC68 Posted: Oct 20, 2003 10:39 PM

Re: Funerals and flowers

I think sending food to the house would be a nice gesture. During and after my father's funeral we were over run with flowers at the wake and there was no food in the house b/c we took most of our meal breaks at a local restaurant. Food shopping, planning and preparing meals was very low on our list of priorities during that time and we appreciated it when our neighbors sent some deli or what ever to have in the house.

And I second the donation to the Cancer Society in her name. That goes much further then flowers will.

I am so sorry for your friend and her family

LizD Posted: Oct 21, 2003 08:37 AM

Re: Funerals and flowers

I also agree with food being sent to the house. The flowers get to be overwhelming. When both my mother and father passed away a few people sent some food to the house and it was really appreciated. Christine said it best, at that time the last thing on your list is shopping or cooking and it was nice to have some kind of food in the house.

WithThisRing Posted: Oct 21, 2003 08:44 AM

Re: Funerals and flowers

I agree with the girls with the food. When my great grandmother passed away the family was so overwhelmed with other things that it was really nice and caring of our friends to bring us a tray of something.

Some of our friends came to the house while we were in the funeral parlor and they set up or cleaned up. Ran errands.

Its little things like that, that I will never forget they did for us.

butterfly20 Posted: Oct 21, 2003 08:58 AM

Re: Funerals and flowers

id send a potted plant or bring a dessert or something.... im sure alot of people will be getting freshcut flowers

februarybride Posted: Oct 21, 2003 12:18 PM

Re: Funerals and flowers

Most of the time I send fruit baskets to the home.

I am soo sorry about your friend's sister.

NIHA Posted: Oct 21, 2003 12:26 PM

Re: Funerals and flowers

I ended up sending a potted plant, her mother loves plants. Thanks everyone

Teri Posted: Oct 21, 2003 12:40 PM

Re: Funerals and flowers

I think the plant is a nice idea. We were bombarded with flowers too at my house. I also remember how nice it was to receive notifications from the Leukemia Society that so many people donated. That really does make a difference too.