funny cake topper?

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As someone else said, they're very passive aggressive. Any groom who wants one is trying to get across the message that he was dragged into this, even if it's a 'joke.' Well, I've never liked those kind of jokes, where someone says something nasty in a 'funny' way and if you object, they say, 'it was only a joke, don't you have a sense of humor?' Except it wasn't a joke, it was a passive-aggressive insult. And, no, they're not 'just' cake toppers.

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Hmm ok it seems a va.lid point until you take a few other things into account.

1-What id the bride gets it, as is true in my case? Am I trying to say I am a ball and chain? Nope. I just think it is FUNNY because FH and i are secure enough with one another that we can make that joke and know it is just that-a joke. We can kid with one another because we know we would never hurt the other on purpose.

2-For those who feel it would be a passive aggressive jab at them personally if their FH suggested it, it comes across that you believe your FH would deliberately hurt you. If he has never been passive aggressive before or normally refrains from it, why take that defensive stance? If you are going to marry the man, now is not the time to find that hidden insecurity.

He willingly asked you to marry him, so unless the situation is of those few brides who have nagged their Fh's till they proposed, why get angry at him when he just wanted to have something light-hearted, and accuse him of undermining you' or making you feel as if you dragged him into it? If he REALLy wanted to be passive aggressive, he could do several things as my FH suggested when I mentioned it to him. The least of them being, his best man making jokes during the toast at your expense. That would be reason to clobber him! A topper? not so much..jmo.

-shrugs- I guess I see it as if you are both secure in your relationship and with one another, you can laugh at your own expense because think of it this way; that cake topper may make some women feel as if it is at THEIR expense because they 'dragged' their groom down the aisle, but look at it from his side... If your guy is a 'guy's guy,' he's kinda a pansy if he 'let himself' be dragged anywhere, much less down the aisle. It makes him look like a bigger wuss than it makes a woman look like a 'ball and chain,' or any other narrative. If he's ok with that, because he knows its just a harmless joke and can relax about it because he knows you love him, why can't we as women?

But back to my original point: its one thing he wants. Several ladies have said 'he should ahve been more active with the rest of the planning.' Maybe he wasn't because he honestly doesn't care that much? I will bet anything that if most grooms (including the one in question) were told about how much conversation the original topic encouraged, they would look at us all like deer in headlights and say something to the effect of, 'Geeze it wasn't that serious...'

Bottom line as far as I am concerned, trust in your man. One topper is not going to ruin anything or undermine what you two have. If it really bothers you, talk to him and see what he says. But talk to him calmly and non-comabtively. 9/10 he will shrug and say 'ok' and that will be the end of that. Maybe he can think of something else he would like at that point. I personally would let him have the topper. But that's just me. Im sure you will figure out what works for you guys.

i say give it to him. besides you should be happy there's something he wants to be involved in. besides you could always put it next to the cake or even at your table. besides i'm sure there's one that you like. My FH and i were talking about the 'gone shopping' one.

It's very unfair to say that anyone who would find the cake topper somewhat offensive or that it would hurt their feelings doesn't trust that their FH doesn't really feel that way. You can KNOW someone is kidding and still have your feelings hurt. Sometimes people joke around about things - which they really mean to be just jokes - that people find offensive. It's not fair to say that just because someone is sensitive to that, that means they don't trust the other person to just be joking or anything to that extent. I think it's fair to say 'I know you don't really feel that way, but it would hurt me if that's a joke you would want to make at our wedding.' That doesn't mean you actually believe your FH feels that way.

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with having one at your wedding if you both want it there... but I personally wouldn't have it at mine. People aren't going to judge you on the basis of one cake topper, but it's just something I personally wouldn't have at my wedding.

Then again, my FH is totally opposed to these cake toppers (moreso than I am)... and was incredibly involved in all aspects of the planning...

I'm sure the OP and her FH can come to a mutually agreeable compromise. I don't think the cake topper issue is black or white -- I think it's a matter of whether or not it works for you.

Huh its a damn cake topper???? You really think anyone really cares about the topper but us brides? NO!

Half the time no one uses it in their albums because why wast a pic on a damn cake topper when your family is a bit more important. The only time it get shot is when you cut the cake and half hte time the photographs cut the top off IoI

If your fh wants one and you are okay with it then go for it!

I wanted a cake topper with fh's head chopped off rolling on the cake signifying the end of his 'head' IoI i realized that was a bit extreme so i had purchased a very folk art cake topper but fh hates it. Now he wants the bride and groom sitting on the edge of the cake which is cute but it has no humor. We are very loud and funny people and very distinctive. I picked the folk art one because i love art and folky type of stuff. Fh isn't into that so we have to figure out something eventually so i might cave in and do the sitting on the edge thing since it will make him happy and honeslty i really don't care soo much if we use it or not. I told him why not just flowers so we might just do that.

I'll bring it up one more time...

what about a happy compromise topper that is funny yet doesn't include bride dragging groom or fighting?

maybe something custom where you can add in some details related to your personalities?

I love those little guys who look like claymation figurines!

ok, claymation figures I know are $$$.... but not all custom toppers are....

http://cgi.ebay.com/custom-made-wedding-Cake-Topper-ooak-figurine-doll_W0QQitemZ150113407094QQihZ005QQcategoryZ20935QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

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Posted by PeteysBride

Thpse are SUPER expensive. O have priced them-usually start at 200+. For the really great ones that are really cusrtomized, they get up to $1,000.

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I've seen the toppers with the bride dragging the groom in Michaels... and I know it wasn't anywhere near $200...

Kara, that is not what I was talking about. Look at the above post. I was refering to the customized ones. NOT the cartoon ones. Portjeff suggested a customized one and those really good ones that I have seen are 200+. Another bride here posted a link and they were AWESOME. Looked JUST like the bride and groom but were a thousand and up and needed to get it ordered way in advance.

Port, can't open that link. Can you post it again? TIA.

Caketoppers

These seem to start @169.00. Not as close as some others I have seen but it becomes a keepsake if you choose to make the investment.

ebay cake toppers

I think this was what portjeffbride was trying to post. These look pretty awesome and not too badly priced but they NAIL you in the shipping.... 37.00 for the topper but then $70.00 for the shipping.

eh, that's the standard ebay plot... for vendors to ensure they make a profit...

none the less, $110 isn't bad for little clay guys...

Yikes. Sorry.

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Posted by Kara and Todd

While I think those cake toppers are really funny, I also think they're really inappropriate for a wedding -- My feelings would be hurt if that was the sentiment my FH wanted to portray on our wedding day - joking or not. (And my sense of humor is fully intact)

I was considering having it at the RD just for fun, but my FH actually was pretty adamant about NOT having it. He doesn't think it's funny because he doesn't want to portray that message. (We both know it's a joke, but he just doesn't want to joke about that) I think it's funny b/c I'm certainly not dragging him down the aisle... but he's right that it's not appropriate... at least not for us.

Maybe if he really wants it you could compromise and have it at the RD with the groom's cake (if you're doing one) or something like that?

If he really wants it and people will 'get it' then by all means go for it. It wouldn't be for me, though. I COMPLETELY understand that others love them and want them at their wedding. It just wouldn't work for us, and I understand where the OP is coming from.

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I agree..Maybe you could have something like that at the RD?