funny cake topper?

The only thing my FH wants is a funny cake topper with the bride dragging the groom or one of those. I just don't think it's that funny anymore because everyone has seen them.
Should I give in ? I feel like he should get his way since I'm making all the other decisions but on the other hand , it's my wedding cake for crying out loud

Actually..it his cake too... Not too sound like I'm scolding but you're kinda coming across a bit birdezilla right now. You did admit to making most of the decisions and this is all he wants.

I understand you may want a different vision, but if this is all he wants, give it to him. Ask him if you can have it on the cake table, but not on the cake. Just next to it. I have seen that done and its actually what we are going to do because we are using real flowers on our cake.

Its really not that big a deal and you will have to make many more sacrifices than these in a marriage.

we're using the cake topper with the bride strangling the groom. we both picked it out and thought it was hilarious.

but if your FH hasnt requested many things, i would give it to him.

i would have fun with it- look at many cake toppers and find one you both think is funny and fit your personalities as a couple- - they have simpsons, m&ms ect - but if he still wants that one :shrug: let him have it- why he not interested in other parts of the planning?

good luck !

While I think those cake toppers are really funny, I also think they're really inappropriate for a wedding -- My feelings would be hurt if that was the sentiment my FH wanted to portray on our wedding day - joking or not. (And my sense of humor is fully intact)

I was considering having it at the RD just for fun, but my FH actually was pretty adamant about NOT having it. He doesn't think it's funny because he doesn't want to portray that message. (We both know it's a joke, but he just doesn't want to joke about that) I think it's funny b/c I'm certainly not dragging him down the aisle... but he's right that it's not appropriate... at least not for us.

Maybe if he really wants it you could compromise and have it at the RD with the groom's cake (if you're doing one) or something like that?

If he really wants it and people will 'get it' then by all means go for it. It wouldn't be for me, though. I COMPLETELY understand that others love them and want them at their wedding. It just wouldn't work for us, and I understand where the OP is coming from.

I see both sides on this one. I think they are funny, yet I would not want one.

FH loves to fish so I am going to get the one with the husband with the fishing pole reeling in the bride.

If I were you, I would let FH make this decision. Compromise is important and if that is his one request I would honor it. There are so many worse things that he could have chosen than this small detail.

I agree with all the posters so far. He should have some say in some of the decisions since it is the day to celebrate both of you. It's not just 'your' day or 'your' cake. That was not meant to be offensive or anything like that.

But on the other hand, I can understand not wanting to portray the image of that cake topper.

Maybe you can have it at the RD and he can help pick out another cake topper that's a little more wedding friendly.

how about you get one for the rehearsal dinner cake? Or have more than one topper around the cake. Personally, I think those things are totally unfunny. It's your wedding cake! It's not a time to 'joke' about how one or the other doesn't want to be married or was forced into it. You want funny, put some superhero action figures on top, or something else. Not something insulting. I don't find insulting funny, not at a meaningful occasion.

And for those who called you a bridezilla--lighten up! There's nothing wrong with disliking those toppers. Yeah, it may be the only thing he asked for, but I bet no one said he couldn't ask for anything else, and then he asks for something that says he doesn't really want to be doing this? Not funny. She's not a bridezilla for not wanting to go along with that.

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Posted by Kara and Todd

While I think those cake toppers are really funny, I also think they're really inappropriate for a wedding -- My feelings would be hurt if that was the sentiment my FH wanted to portray on our wedding day - joking or not. (And my sense of humor is fully intact)

I was considering having it at the RD just for fun, but my FH actually was pretty adamant about NOT having it. He doesn't think it's funny because he doesn't want to portray that message. (We both know it's a joke, but he just doesn't want to joke about that) I think it's funny b/c I'm certainly not dragging him down the aisle... but he's right that it's not appropriate... at least not for us.

Maybe if he really wants it you could compromise and have it at the RD with the groom's cake (if you're doing one) or something like that?

If he really wants it and people will 'get it' then by all means go for it. It wouldn't be for me, though. I COMPLETELY understand that others love them and want them at their wedding. It just wouldn't work for us, and I understand where the OP is coming from.

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I feel the same way about it as Kara does. I do think it's funny, but I would not want it on my cake (or cake table).

I think the idea of having it at the rehearsal dinner is a good one.

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Posted by pencil
how about you get one for the rehearsal dinner cake? Or have more than one topper around the cake. Personally, I think those things are totally unfunny. It's your wedding cake! It's not a time to 'joke' about how one or the other doesn't want to be married or was forced into it. You want funny, put some superhero action figures on top, or something else. Not something insulting. I don't find insulting funny, not at a meaningful occasion.

And for those who called you a bridezilla--lighten up! There's nothing wrong with disliking those toppers. Yeah, it may be the only thing he asked for, but I bet no one said he couldn't ask for anything else, and then he asks for something that says he doesn't really want to be doing this? Not funny. She's not a bridezilla for not wanting to go along with that.

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I feel like he should get his way since I'm making all the other decisions but on the other hand , it's my wedding cake for crying out loud

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This was the statement that made my brows rise, because its not just her cake, but her FH's as well. I can totally understand not wanting to portray a certain image and agree wih kara as far as that. but to say 'its MY cake for crying out loud,' is coming across as a bit of a tantrum. Also yo have to keep in mind, guys think differently than us. As someone who has always ahd male friendsmore than female, simply stated, they are retarded in many ways. They don't mean to be, but unless its the rare guy who is sensitive to all of our tiny mood neurosises, men generally don't think the same way we do. Most guys would see it as a joke.

I'll use my Fh as an example. You will not find a man who is more considerate of me or caring. He'd walk over coals for me. But in his mind it would be funny and he knows that i generally am very laid back and find humor in things. so if he suggested it, it wouldnt be because he was being insensitive or trying to make it seem as pencils said, that he 'doesn't want to do this.' He just saw the humor in it and didnt think much past it. But if I were to tell him, 'baby Im really umconfortanle with this' and then calmly explain why, he'd shrug and say, 'ok.' He wouldn't sulk or get angry, just accept it because he hadn't thought of it that way before. At which point I would just let him have it because as long ashe and I know that its a joke, screw everyone else. Honestly, yes I understand you might not want to give a negative impression, but who do you go home to and sleep with, and plan a family with every night? All those people or your FH? Who will you be promising on that day at the end of the aisle, to compromise with?

Guys are weird. They will get their mind set on one thing and then thats it. Thats all they want and to budge them is to usually cause a fight. If its this one thing he really wants, let him have it because why cause tension between you for soemthing this small?

If he suggested it, I would assume he thinks it would fly with most of your guests because he loves you and its highly unlikley he would suggest anything to make you feelaabd deliberately. But if you're unsure, ask him. Tell him you're not sure its a joke everyone would get and you're sesnitive to it. He might agree with you or he might not. if he doesn't, try the RD suggestion others have made it orput it somewhere a bit more obscure like the card table.

Let him make one choice... it's the cake topper for crying out loud. Like some people said, they don't want to portray that kind of 'attitude' at their wedding with the silly bride dragging the groom cake topper... but in realtiy, it's a cake topper and you're really worried that a CAKE TOPPER is going to be the thing that portrays your relationship?

People will notice it and think it's funny. Have fun with it, and in the end if it's what makes your FH happy, than that's what matters.

I don't want to offend anyone, but I personally find those cake toppers to be rather passive aggressive, with merely the guise of a joke.

If it were a funny topper that doesn't look like one partner is being trapped, dragged etc., I'd be all for it. But all the funny toppers seem to be of the same genre.... the bride is trapping the groom (ball and chain, or pulling goom's jacket), or fighting with the groom...

I know some of you see the light-hearted joke, knowing that's not a real representation of the relationship, nonetheless, I think it's rather inappropriate on the wedding day, and even the rehearsal cake....

are there any funny toppers that aren't of that style?

I think they are funny, and if we weren't having a monogram cake topper, we'd definitely get one of those. I don't htink anyone would look at it and be like 'o is that how their relationship is' or anything... they'd justs ee it for what it is... cute n funny.

And I have to agree with Peteysbride about the bridezilla statement.... its something I've noticed aloooot ont hese boards... some brides seem to forget that its not 'MY day' but more like 'OUR day.' My FH doesn't care too much about the details, but he we were to really want a certain cake topper or anything else, I'd definitely give it to him... otherwise its just my personality shining through...not his.

To clarify, I didn't actually think people there would assume a cake topper of all things to be a symbol of the relationship.

However, regardless of that, that isn't a sentiment I PERSONALLY would want at my wedding - in any form.

There are-ones of bride and groom barefoot together. Groom fishing the bride-she's on his pole. Its one day and its not a defining moment. Now if he was always making jokes calling her ball and chain or saying she is a vise around his neck, I totally understand her not wanting a cake toper portraying those sentiments. I think it also depends on the topper.

I personally HATE the one where they are standing back to back, both angry. THAT portrays the wrong image. So does the one of the man with the leash around his neck. Thats a little ...ODD. But my Fh always teases me in select company(our friends who know he's kidding because he really would fall apart without me-seen it happen when I once threatened to walk out) that I am his 'old lady' and his 'ball and chain.' I know he's being a goof, so I went out and got the cake topper that has the groom with the ball around his ankle. He cracked up and it actually LIGHTENED tension between us that the wedding has caused because I showed him I can still laugh at ridiculous nonsense.

Which cake topper did your FH want to use?

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PThis was the statement that made my brows rise, because its not just her cake, but her FH's as well. I can totally understand not wanting to portray a certain image and agree wih kara as far as that. but to say 'its MY cake for crying out loud,' is coming across as a bit of a tantrum. A.

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Yes, of course it's his wedding cake as well. But should THEIR wedding cake be insulting to one of them? If he doesn't get it, then you explain it to him. And I don't agree with the whole 'guys don't get it' thing. Maybe they don't, because they never had to. My FH would get it. He might think it was funny, but it would never occur to him to want to put it on the actual wedding cake because he understands it's a nasty jibe to the bride--or groom, depending on the cake topper. My FH is defintely a guy's guy: computer geek, football fan, weight lifter, all that stuff, but he gets it. It's one of the many reasons why I love him.

Just because a groom has laid back and not done anything for the wedding, doesn't mean he necessarily gets the one thing he's asked for if it's the wrong thing. Maybe he should have spoken up about a few more things. I happen to feel strongly about those toppers. As someone else said, they're very passive aggressive. Any groom who wants one is trying to get across the message that he was dragged into this, even if it's a 'joke.' Well, I've never liked those kind of jokes, where someone says something nasty in a 'funny' way and if you object, they say, 'it was only a joke, don't you have a sense of humor?' Except it wasn't a joke, it was a passive-aggressive insult. And, no, they're not 'just' cake toppers. They're frequently the one item at the wedding that is a bride and groom figure. Who else are they supposed to represent other than the actual bride and groom? It's a wedding, it's supposed to be a celebration of love and a new life starting together. Not a joke about how one got dragged into it or is being tied down. The time for that is at the bachelor/bachelorette parties or the rehearsal dinner, not the wedding.

I think having it at the rehearsal dinner is a great idea, and still a compromise, go for it.