Funny stuff for Us Ladies!
Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind. 2. No business.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
How do men sort their laundry?
'Filthy' and 'Filthy but Wearable'.
How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it!
Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence!
How is being at a singles bar different from being at the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk!
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase care they have no intention of driving!
Why do bachelors like smart women?
Opposites attract
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odours and don't work half the time!
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE..... Men will screw anything
Why are blond jokes so short?
... So men can remember them
They can't stand criticism
What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1. No mind. 2. No business.
Why do men name their penises?
Because they want to be on a first-name basis with the person who makes all their decisions.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What is a man's view of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
How do men sort their laundry?
'Filthy' and 'Filthy but Wearable'.
How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.
What should you give a man who has everything?
A woman to show him how to work it!
Why don't men have mid-life crises?
They stay stuck in adolescence!
How is being at a singles bar different from being at the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk!
What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase care they have no intention of driving!
Why do bachelors like smart women?
Opposites attract
Why are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, emit foul odours and don't work half the time!
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE..... Men will screw anything
Why are blond jokes so short?
... So men can remember them
