My friend is a MD at a catering hall on Long Island. She MD'd a wedding last weekend where she was not tipped.
Everyone needs to know that generally speaking, the MD fee is their PAY...They split it with the house, but they don't make any other money, or maybe a very small hourly pay. And when they called to ask the B&G if there was a problem, they said everything was great, but that paying for the wedding 'tapped them out' and they couldn't tip her.
Just think about this ladies...people make their livings off our weddings. If your wedding 'taps' you out to the point where you can't afford a TIP, then you're doing something wrong.
RitasEngaged
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
That is horrible. I have budgeted $ for all of my tips.
that is pretty bad...BUT i must say that I do not plan on just giving a certian amount of tip because its the 'norm' I want those people to earn the tip too. I was at a wedding recently where the md was no where to be found all night...no checking with the guests...no talking with the b&g....in my book...it would be ok no to tip that kind of person!
JMO
Future Mulligan
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
we are tipping based on performance....hopefully our vendors and maitre D do the right thing by us and they will be very happy people at the end of the night - if not, too bad for them
08JulyBride
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
Posted by RitasEngaged
That is horrible. I have budgeted $ for all of my tips.
we did too.
Posted by Future Mulligan
we are tipping based on performance....hopefully our vendors and maitre D do the right thing by us and they will be very happy people at the end of the night - if not, too bad for them
I agree... they shouldn't automatically get a set amount regardless of their level of service, but I don't think that NO tip is ever appropriate. If you plan for an amount for average service, then add more if their service is great, or take a little out if their service was sub-par I think that expresses how you felt with out stiffing the MD altogether. My opinion.
jessnstu08
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
I ended up tipping the person I booked my reception hall with over the Maitre D because he ( Mike T from the Royalton ) was amazing the whole day , and in our contract it did state that Maitre D's fee's were included . Plus mine was not their regular , they had a sub ,and it was obvious because I barely saw him until it was cake cutting time .
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
Posted by 08JulyBride
Posted by RitasEngaged
That is horrible. I have budgeted $ for all of my tips.
we did too.
Posted by Future Mulligan
we are tipping based on performance....hopefully our vendors and maitre D do the right thing by us and they will be very happy people at the end of the night - if not, too bad for them
I agree... they shouldn't automatically get a set amount regardless of their level of service, but I don't think that NO tip is ever appropriate. If you plan for an amount for average service, then add more if their service is great, or take a little out if their service was sub-par I think that expresses how you felt with out stiffing the MD altogether. My opinion.
I am not saying an automatic amount. Of course, give what you can and based on performance, yad yad yad...But to say everything was great and not tip because you're broke? Just not right. These are the type of people that probably don't tip at restaurants either.
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
Posted by JJC
that is pretty bad...BUT i must say that I do not plan on just giving a certian amount of tip because its the 'norm' I want those people to earn the tip too. I was at a wedding recently where the md was no where to be found all night...no checking with the guests...no talking with the b&g....in my book...it would be ok no to tip that kind of person!
JMO
But how do you know that? Were you specifically looking to see how they interact? There's lots of behind the scenes stuff that goes on. So when you stiff on a tip, that person may not get paid. Barring some truly unfortunate event, there's no reason not to AT LEAST tip, whether its a little or a lot.
Future Mulligan
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
yea the no tipping b/c you are broke isn't cool - but its pretty common for the bride and groom not to tip - well i wont say its common but my FH works weddings and lots of times he doesnt get a tip and neither does the maitre D....and when i ask was the party good - he says yeah - and he says some of the best parties are the ones that dont tip....if our maitre D doesnt make us happy then there is no way in hell im giving the recommended amount BUT if im happy then i will be very very generous - but i agree no tip at all isnt right, but when someone is working for a tip they should be providing amazing service....like crappy waiters or waitresses that forget things on your order, take forever, dont acknowledge you - why should they get the same tip as someone who treated you like you were the only customer in the restaurant? KWIM? i dont know, i used to work off tips in the hair salon and i busted my butt - so i hate when people who works off tips are lazy or dont care and expect to get a nice chunk of change
RockysGirl
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
I put the tip into our budget when I planned exactly how much we needed. But I AM glad that somebody had told when I booked the hall about tipping the Maitre D, because quite honestly, I've never been married before and I totally did not realize at the time that we'd need to tip. I figured with as much that I'm paying for the hall, the Maitre D would already be getting good money. So that Bride & Groom who denied your friend a tip may have thought the same thing. Some times we just don't realize. Luckily i had somebody inform me quite a while back so i was able to budget that into the final price.
that is pretty bad...BUT i must say that I do not plan on just giving a certian amount of tip because its the 'norm' I want those people to earn the tip too. I was at a wedding recently where the md was no where to be found all night...no checking with the guests...no talking with the b&g....in my book...it would be ok no to tip that kind of person!
JMO
But how do you know that? Were you specifically looking to see how they interact? There's lots of behind the scenes stuff that goes on. So when you stiff on a tip, that person may not get paid. Barring some truly unfortunate event, there's no reason not to AT LEAST tip, whether its a little or a lot.
i was specifically looking at everything...i must say that now that i am planning a wedding..i have been more aware at what goes on when I am at one. This md never appeared except to bring the cake out! anyway...I know people that work in the wedding industry and they all do get a base pay regardless of tip...I am sure not every place does that but thats not my fault! If you are in this business which is one to please and pamper...than that is what you do! Now...what happened to your friend is awful and there is no excuse for it! But...had your friend done a crappy job..I dont think there is anything wrong with not giving a tip.
TheLadyJ
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
What would you say is a 'good' amount for a tip? If you are extremely happy with the service, is it a 'per head' thing or a percentage of the total price?
What about for the bridal attendant
I do want to make sure I have anticipated the correct amount.
Future Mulligan
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
Posted by TheLadyJ
What would you say is a 'good' amount for a tip? If you are extremely happy with the service, is it a 'per head' thing or a percentage of the total price?
What about for the bridal attendant
I do want to make sure I have anticipated the correct amount.
our hall told us what to tip
RitasEngaged
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
I know with the maitre D is is $3-$5 pp
VickiR510
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
Thats terrible. unfortunately, people do this? I cant understand that people dont realize that MD work really hard for you & a tip is appreciated. If you cant budget for it then take something away like the fountan or the VH. Some extra. They work as hard for you that evening as you do and they deserve it.
SFAR89
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
yikes...I knew we had to tip, but I didn't think it was that much. Holy cow.
08JulyBride
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
my hall specifically told me $1-3 per head is normal for them (the MD) ... I would ask your hall what range is typical. I went in the middle of that range and tipped a little over $2 a head.
$5 per head seems CRAZY!!
jaep129
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
The no tipping b/c they were 'tapped out' was wrong. I tipped on performance and really I never saw my girl. Once at the begining and that was it. My MOH and BM were getting us drinks not her. At them time when I saw her just standing around I didn't think to say anything but after it all I called to let them know. Also, in my contract and many others a Maitre D' charge is put into it. Mine was a nice amount to. We did tip her just not as much as we were going to. JMO
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
Posted by VickiR510
Thats terrible. unfortunately, people do this? I cant understand that people dont realize that MD work really hard for you & a tip is appreciated. If you cant budget for it then take something away like the fountan or the VH. Some extra. They work as hard for you that evening as you do and they deserve it.
EXACTLY my point! We spend tons of $$$ on stuff but then bittch about tipping or don't tip at all. We can't cry poverty with a loaf under each arm...especially when it comes to weddings. The people who work the weddings can see how much is being spent, and not being tipped because you spent all your money is wrong.
kslmbuggie
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Re: FYI: Tipping Maitre D'
My hall had a recommended amount for a tip, but they never said it was required. Frankly if I hadnt been on LIW I would have never known we had to tip anyone @ the hall, and the RH didnt mention anything of a tip until the final meeting which is not a good time to spring tipping the MD & BA, so if someone doesnt have a tip factored into their budget then it is likely that they wont tip the MD the day of.
