getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'

Tell the people who are invited w/o dates that a wedding is a great place to meet people...and perhaps find someone new to date!

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Posted by kimter

I'd rather not be invited than invited but told to come alone.

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I want to sound more sensitive to the issue but I have to agree... I was invited to a wedding once w/o a guest (I had a bf of about 6 months at the time) and I just replied 'no'. Maybe that is insensitive but it is the truth- and was my gut reaction.

However, before I was w/ FH I was invited to a wedding '& Guest' and I went solo anyway b/c I didn't want to drag some random guy around all night when there were plenty of friends that I knew at the wedding.

Most of the people I invited '& Guest' are coming alone, so i am glad that I did it that way. I know everyone's situation is different and I'm not trying to rag on anyone's choice but that's just my honest opinion (and a few personal experiences).

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Posted by JAAMS

I think you are completely in the right. I don't feel that there is a need to invite every single person with a date.

We are only inviting those with a date if they are in a relationship/engaged/married.

To me, if it is not in the budget to have all these extra guests that you don't even know running around, then you absolutely do not have to.

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ITA

II replied this on someone else VENT..lol

think its TOTALLY ok to invite single people without as guest, as long as they will know other people at the wedding (esp that they could sit with)
Alot of my coworkers are single..they all came solo, sat together and had a blast.

Now if i was inviting someone single who didn't know anyone else at the wedding, THEN they should be allowed to bring a guest..

All our friends understood this... besides, if we DID invite all the single people with a guest, we would have had to cut 1/2 of our friends OFF the guest list....


I told ALL my friends upfront, you are all being invited without a guest (except of course those married, or in a serious relationship) - FH of course didn't & even though the invite was adressed to the person ONLY and didn't say plus guest, they still RSVP'ed w/ a guest.. we had to call them and explain the situation --

Just make sure the people you are invited without a guest will know other people at the wedding..you dont want anyone sitting in a corner all alone b/c they don't know anyone.. just an idea..

And tell everyone who complains to ZIP IT they aren't paying for the wedding , you are .. when I was single, I NEVER EVER would have complained to someone about being invited to their wedding without a guest!!!

I am going through a SIMILAR situation...

I sent out my save the dates, (after carefully massacreing my guest list to get it down to the amount we could afford...) and no sooner did I run into a friend who immediately told me how his NEW girlfriend was totoally freaking about not knowing what to wear to the wedding.

... I almost died. The save-the-date was addressed to only him, but I spoke to my mother and she told me it's ONE extra person, and it'll be fine. I told her it won't be if x amount of singles all feel the same way.

FH had a similar run-in shortly after. He bumped into cousins of his at the mall, who told him how excited they were for the wedding, and how excited their son was about it!! (Their son whom we did not invite!)

Seriously girls, how does one deal with ALL of this and stay sane?

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And tell everyone who complains to ZIP IT they aren't paying for the wedding , you are .. when I was single, I NEVER EVER would have complained to someone about being invited to their wedding without a guest!!!

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WELL SAID!!!

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Posted by FallBride2010

I personally think that once we reach a certain age, people expect to be invited with a date. I have to admit, I have been a bit surprised when I wasnt invited with one.

That being said, it's a bit rude for these friends to be calling your friends

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Agreed 100%. I was so in your boat but once a person is over 25 (well thats what we did) even if they are not in a relationship (well that we knew of) got on their invite..And Guest.

So according to those opinions... if an 18 year old is in a 3 year relationship but is only 18 they should'nt get to bring their serious bf over a single 25 year old just b/c they are 25?? lol I totally disagree! We let any relationships (even new or young relationships) bring their partner...

Also, EVERYONE at the wedding knows people- the single relatives sit with their relatives...the single college friends sit with college friends..etc... etc...

It just seems silly to cut out people who mean so much to you to include guests (not even bf's or gf's) for some of the people!

me and dh paid for the wedding completely on our own, so we were definitely limited on how many we could invite. Our rule was that people could ONLY bring guests if they were in a relationship - meaning they're married, engaged, or have a serious boyfriend/girlfriend. For the people who were technically 'single' but frequently date around, i just could not afford for them to bring whoever it was they were interested in that week.

One of the girls had a bit of attitude about that. Even tho she didn't have anybody to bring she was like 'I'd still like the option.' Whatever. She'll understand when SHE gets married and has to pay for every person (including their dates).

This is always a touchy subject. I think you have to do what works for you and your FH. If people dont like it....dont come (harsh but whatever )

You should do whatever you feel comfortable with. My advice though is stick to a rule. I did the 'if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged or married' rule but I did also decide to invite our entire wedding party with a date just out of courtesy even though I know some of them won't bring.

JMO but not sure I would mention ANYTHING to people about $. I would be offended if someone said to me that they are the ones paying for the wedding or whatever (granted I would never ask to be invited with a date if I wasn't anyway). Just remember these are the people giving you gifts so don't throw money in their face.

FH and I are paying for our wedding and if questioned we are saying we only invited people with dates who have a signifcant other. That's it, end of story and if they don't like it, they can reply no.

I think there is nothing wrong with not inviting dates...40 some people is a lot...but if someone feels strongly about bringing one....I would try to fit them in.
If you can't...you can't...and just tell them you wish you could have more people but you had to limit your guest list.
It's funny...I wasn't engaged for very long....so my husband was invited to a wedding by himself....when they found out we were married, they invited me.

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Posted by JillMarie545

So according to those opinions... if an 18 year old is in a 3 year relationship but is only 18 they should'nt get to bring their serious bf over a single 25 year old just b/c they are 25?? lol I totally disagree! We let any relationships (even new or young relationships) bring their partner...

Also, EVERYONE at the wedding knows people- the single relatives sit with their relatives...the single college friends sit with college friends..etc... etc...

It just seems silly to cut out people who mean so much to you to include guests (not even bf's or gf's) for some of the people!

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Hey, I think (if ur responding to the post that I think u are) that the poster meant that anyone in a relationship is invited '& guest' and then people over 25 are invited '& guest' regardless of their relationship status- so someone 18 in a relationship would be '& guest'- or at least that's how I understood it.

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Posted by JillMarie545

So according to those opinions... if an 18 year old is in a 3 year relationship but is only 18 they should'nt get to bring their serious bf over a single 25 year old just b/c they are 25?? lol I totally disagree! We let any relationships (even new or young relationships) bring their partner...

Also, EVERYONE at the wedding knows people- the single relatives sit with their relatives...the single college friends sit with college friends..etc... etc...

It just seems silly to cut out people who mean so much to you to include guests (not even bf's or gf's) for some of the people!

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I agree, you want ppl closest to you to be there, and you shouldn't have to cut ppl just so you can invite singles with a guest, esp if you never met them and they are the flavor of the week
Just curious...what is your mininum? Because not sure how you did your numbers when you gave your hall your mininum but up to or more than 25% of your original guest list may RSVP no. Not to scare you and this is an extreme case... but I read a post about one poor girl on here who had 50% of her guests RSVP no. :( You may want to allow some ppl to bring guests to make your mininum because your RH will expect you to pay it no matter if you make it or not. Just some food for thought....if your numbers are all right then just tell the (rude! lol) ppl that you and FH have worked very hard for your wedding and it is really expensive, and you regretfully are unable to invite everyone with a guest unless they are in serious relationships. Period. If it bothers them that much, they can say no like a PP said....
GL!!!