GRRR...so my invites finally went out last week (so exciting) and a few of my FH's college friends have contacted him about if they can bring a date when he explained that we only had people in relationships bring dates he said okay but then had another friend contact one of MY friends to ask if she was allowed a date....of course the same rules apply to my friends too!
I feel like you can't win- already complaints!! There were 48 single people invited to my wedding- we couldn't afford inviting that many extra people (that would be strangers!)-I list was already at 217!!! how come people don't understand :/
Also- the invite clearly states that together with our familes we invite you- meaning hint..hint..that FH and I are paying for part of the wedding (and our part is A LOT!)
candybride123
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
If you don't have it you don't have it but at the same time I can definitely undertstand why someone would expect to bring a guest.
However, calling to see if OTHER invitees were allowed to bring someone is so shady and rude!
jlt2010
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
i agree with the above pp about being shady and rude. some people just don't understand and think it's always about themselves. this is your wedding and it should be your choice not to invite dates.
StaceYums81
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
I'm inviting ppl w/guest but thats only because I have a tiny guest list - they should respect your decision and get over it...
meara
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
honestly. . I do think it's rude for folks to call and def had the same reaction when people called me. but to just give others the ben of the doubt. some people really don't know. . so while it s*cks we have to deal with it. . they might just not be etiquette educated . .
FallBride2010
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
I personally think that once we reach a certain age, people expect to be invited with a date. I have to admit, I have been a bit surprised when I wasnt invited with one.
That being said, it's a bit rude for these friends to be calling your friends
jtgarsik
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
try to remember: when the wedding's over, they'll all be over it. it wont even be a memory...unfortunately it's things like these that other's just wont understand untill they plan&pay for a wedding themselves..
try not to let it stress u out
MarjorieFrank
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
I agree with you that having 40+ people with dates would get totally out of control, not only $$$-wise but also with there being random strangers at your wedding. If I was single I wouldn't expect to be invited to a wedding with a date. These people are rude to be complaining about it. Even if you invited every single person with a date, I think there would still be complaints elsewhere, so try to not let it get to you.
JAAMS
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
I think you are completely in the right. I don't feel that there is a need to invite every single person with a date.
We are only inviting those with a date if they are in a relationship/engaged/married.
To me, if it is not in the budget to have all these extra guests that you don't even know running around, then you absolutely do not have to.
soontobemrsag
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
Posted by FallBride2010
I personally think that once we reach a certain age, people expect to be invited with a date. I have to admit, I have been a bit surprised when I wasnt invited with one.
That being said, it's a bit rude for these friends to be calling your friends
I agree!
jussie82
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
Posted by StaceYums81
I'm inviting ppl w/guest but thats only because I have a tiny guest list - they should respect your decision and get over it...
ita..obv none of these people had to PAY for a wedding
Nina1010
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
Posted by FallBride2010
I personally think that once we reach a certain age, people expect to be invited with a date. I have to admit, I have been a bit surprised when I wasnt invited with one.
That being said, it's a bit rude for these friends to be calling your friends
ITA.... it is your wedding... my FH was invited to a wedding w/o guest a few yrs back...I was surprised, but it was a client of his and I didn't protest. I knew how expensive weddings can be.
runnerbride1023
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
Tell them that there are plenty of other single people invited to the wedding and maybe they will meet someone and really hit it off, or have fun for one night. Its not as though everyone has a date except for 1 or 2 people. Plus it is so much pressure to find a date if you dont have a boyfriend/girlfriend/fiance/ etc.
Liv123
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
We are having the same dilemma but I think we are sticking to our guns re: 'dates.'
I think that if they are people that love you and want to be there for YOU, they will get over it. The only exception is if they don't know ANYONE else there then I can see a problem....
Not sure how we are going to eventually work this out, but the way I see it - if you mean enough to them, they WILL understand.
JillMarie545
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
It's definitely a heated topic... According to etiquette books you are only supposed to invite a date if engaged or married- I thought that was ridiculus!!
Interesting though...I don't think your age really has anything to do with it! some of our single guests are grandparents/older aunts and some are our age- mid 20's...We even have a 17 year old with a 3 year boyfriend who we invited b/c it is a relationship....we knew we wanted to be consistent with our date policy and not pick and choose among the 50 singles...we have let anyone with any sort of relationship bring their bf, gf or partner- its just the 50 completely single people who had only their names on the invitation... and 50 people is thousands of dollars that we dont have!
Ayne11
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
We couldn't afford to have our friends bring dates. So we instituted 'no ring, no bring' and we only invited the guests who were living together or engaged. All of my friends totally understood.
Like Taryn said, after the day is over all will be forgotten.
TheFutureMrsPM
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
People do not understand how hard it is to make choices like this until they are in ur shoes. You will never be able to make everyone happy, you have to do what is best for you and FH. And after all it is your big day
christine2010
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
when FH & I made our list our rule was, that unless someone is in a serious dating relationship for the 2 years leading up to the wedding, they are not invited with a guest. (my sister, MOH, was not invited with a guest until she was officially dating someone for 6 months!!)
i understand that its harsh but these are the things that must be done. money does not grow on trees & no matter who is paying for it, its the bride & grooms decision to make. also FH & I don't want to be first introduced to anyone the day of our wedding.
kimter
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
Guess I'm in the minority here. I think adults should be allowed to bring a date if they like.
If that means inviting less people so be it, but I think the trouble you are running into is because of the solo invites.
I think if I was 20+ years old I'd rather not be invited than invited but told to come alone.
Hugs and good luck with the situation.
jcreilly
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Re: getting a hard time about not inviting 'dates'
I have a big guest list but doing and guest my mom says i have to, i just hope people who are single say they are come themselves my BP girls are either single or there guy is already in the BP i am hoping they do not bring anyone i have 3 girls who are not dating anyone right now and if they have there dates will be left alone in the begining, i just went to a wedding where they had 18 people in the bridal party 3 where seat at my table and told BG they where bringing dates but did not i would have been pissed 3 extra seats at my table and they had a wedding of about 300 people.
