I think the feelings you have are natural considering your age. I could not image getting married that young especially if I had not really dated anyone else. Now when I say your feelings are natural, I am not saying to ignore them.
Kriss2c
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Re: Getting cold feet
I'm not a spring chicken... but I will tell you are NOT alone.
I was second guessing a little bit too, but it's normal, it's a major life change, you can't expect all your emotions to be on board at the same time.
keljoe04
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Re: Getting cold feet
I think its normal to get cold feet...we are talking about the rest of our lives and that is a big thing. No one can tell you whether you are doing the right thing...thats a decision that you have to come to on your own. How do you feel about discussing this with your FH?
Bebalina
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Re:
Sweetness
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Re: Getting cold feet
Age is just a number! What matters is what you feel. Have you talked to you FH about your feelings? Maybe it is just the planning process. I was freaking out a tad bit in the very beginning. Your getting married, the process hits you, and marriage is a huge commitment. THat's why i freaked a tiny bit, but I talked to my Fiance and felt much better and realized why I love him soo much and can't wait to be his wife. PS He is 23 and I am 27.
nferrandi
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Re: Getting cold feet
I think your feelings and doubts are pretty normal, but only you know what deiciosn should be made ragarding marriage. From what I'm guessing, you and FH haven't had a lot of other dating experiences so it can be very daunting to think of some things you may have missed out on. And those things are all valid and there's nothing wrong with thinking that way. But don't forget that you have something special too. You've had the opportunity to grow up and with the man you love. You've formed a bond and wonderful memories with him and if he's a good enough guy for you to have been with this long, chances are, he really is a good guy. You'd be surprised at just how many jerks there are out there and your FH has saved you a lot of grief.
Bebalina
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Re: Getting cold feet
sophie78
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Re: Getting cold feet
If you are having these feelings, you are having them for a reason! Listen to them. It is so much easier to address them now (months before the wedding) than weeks before the wedding.
goingtobemrs
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Re: Getting cold feet
I personally think this is something you need to STRONGLY consider. My fiance and I were at a wedding this past weekend and he took one of his best friends aside and told him what his wife told him years ago...about 2 weeks after they got married, we were all in a bar and she followed my fiance into the bathroom and said I don't love him, I dont' know why I married him. This has been a secret until this weekend, but he knew anyway. They are miserable and she clearly married him because they were together for 10 years (since high school) and she felt it was the next step. She ended up cheating on him PLENTY of times and is so mean to him and resents him when it was HER who wanted to get married. They don't have kids yet, so we are all hoping he leaves her before that happens. They just bought a house together, but it is no secret they are not happy. I am just saying, don't feel obligated at ALL to marry this man even if you do love him, he may not be the one for you. I don't believe you have to be with 50 people before settling down at all, but I do believe that when you get engaged, there should be NO doubt in your mind. I would say maybe it is cold feet closer to the wedding, but you are not getting married until next May so...I would just really think about this decision. Me, my fiance knew I'd say yes to marry him and I knew he'd ask and we both have absolutely no doubt in our mind that we want to be together forever.
OctBride05
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Re: Getting cold feet
i went through the same thing in the beginning of the year. i am also 23 and i started dating fh when i was 17. i felt like i was too young, i wanted to hang out with my friends again like i used to and maybe meet other people.
we would fight constantly because i was feeling this so strongly and i just couldnt tell him. we actually broke up for about a week, i just wanted to think things over and i realized that i love him so much and he definetly is the man i want to marry, and ever since then i haven't doubted it again.
BMD'sPeanut
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Re: Getting cold feet
Posted by tp329
there should be NO doubt in your mind.
I don't think this is necessarily true for everyone...Not everything is black and white...Emotions have gray areas too.
sophie78
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Re: Getting cold feet
Posted by BMD'sPeanut
Posted by tp329
there should be NO doubt in your mind.
I don't think this is necessarily true for everyone...Not everything is black and white...Emotions have gray areas too.
Here is what I would tell my patient:
Doubt can be normal. But if your doubts are constant, interfering with your life, relationships, work, school, or preventing you from sleeping or eating normally, then your doubt is abnormal.
kiwijonze
Posted:
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Re: Getting cold feet
Posted by am470
Posted by BMD'sPeanut
Posted by tp329
there should be NO doubt in your mind.
I don't think this is necessarily true for everyone...Not everything is black and white...Emotions have gray areas too.
Here is what I would tell my patient:
Doubt can be normal. But if your doubts are constant, interfering with your life, relationships, work, school, or preventing you from sleeping or eating normally, then your doubt is abnormal.
Makes sense. Who can be sure of anything 100% of the time, but if you aren't functioning 'normally', then you have to stop and take a step back to figure out where you are.
Bebalina
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Re: Getting cold feet
nov04LIbride
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Re: Getting cold feet
Well, I too was having doubts, and my mom said to me pick the three most important things for you to find in a partner. Now pick the one most important one, and be happy if you get that. No one is perfect, and if having your husband spend a great deal of time at home with a regular 9-5 is most important to you, know that that might not be him. But, if your most important thing is something else, put it all into perspective. If your biggest problem is that you don't see him enough, be happy that you are still happy when you do see him!
Bebalina
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Re: Getting cold feet
thanx grls!
Boop2704
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Re: Getting cold feet
I think its totally normal. I questioned why I was getting married about a hundred times before the big day came. There is so much going on, so many emotions flying high, your bound to wonder.. what if.. or am I making the right decision. I can tell you, that now that Don't get me wrong here, I love my darling husband to death, and couldn't be happier that I married him, but even now after being married, I find myself questioning myself as to did I make the right decision when something in our life goes wrong. I know I did, but I think my problem is I have too much time on my hands and I think too much. But in my heart and soul I know I made the right decision, and I am looking foward to the rest of my life with my hubby!! This is a big commitment, one of the biggest you'll make in your life. You know in your heart whether it is right or not!!
Oh and I do not think you are too young at all. You are lucky to have found someone you love at your age. Some people live their whole lives never finding true love! Think of yourself as lucky, not young!!
Bebalina
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Re: ..
Bebalina
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Re: ..
Posted by Boop2704
I think its totally normal. I questioned why I was getting married about a hundred times before the big day came. There is so much going on, so many emotions flying high, your bound to wonder.. what if.. or am I making the right decision. I can tell you, that now that Don't get me wrong here, I love my darling husband to death, and couldn't be happier that I married him, but even now after being married, I find myself questioning myself as to did I make the right decision when something in our life goes wrong. I know I did, but I think my problem is I have too much time on my hands and I think too much. But in my heart and soul I know I made the right decision, and I am looking foward to the rest of my life with my hubby!! This is a big commitment, one of the biggest you'll make in your life. You know in your heart whether it is right or not!!
Oh and I do not think you are too young at all. You are lucky to have found someone you love at your age. Some people live their whole lives never finding true love! Think of yourself as lucky, not young!!
boop I think u nailed it! I have too much time on my hands...especially when Fh isn't with me soo much! I didnt have this prob as much b4 ...since he switched clients...his job has become more demanding....and i think i'm just alone for too long.
