Getting Ready to Move In Together

Hi Ladies -

You've been so great with everything else . . .

FI is moving in over the long Thanksgiving weekend. I'm super-psyched and super-freaked! I know it's going to be awesome, but I'm a little scared. I was always Ms. Corporate America, always lived on my own, extremely independent. The thought of someone being around 24/7 is a little freaky!!!

Anybody else go (or going) through the same thing?? I know there is definitely going to be a transition period, but any advice??

Thanks!!

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

DF and I just moved in together at the beginning of the month. There was an adjustment period at first, when we were getting used to each others habits, but now we are having a blast!

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

There was a HUGE transition period for us. We went from being the worlds most sappy, lovey dovey couple to being at each others throats in a matter of weeks.

The only advice I can give is that 'it will pass'. If you are not used to fighting (we never fought) then the fights you will inevitably have will seem like relationship ending hurdles.

So if you both understand that it takes time to adjust to each others little habits and that its okay to dislike certain things about it each other (for the rest of your lives in our case) - then you will be fine.

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

Hi Karen - we moved in together last May, got engaged in July. We have been together so long (5.5 yrs) that it wasn't too terribly scary - but I found that he expected me to be a bit more house-wifely than I was prepared to be. I don't cook, I'm not too neat, and I am a spender, big time. We had a few huge blowouts before I had to sit down and have a talk with myself regarding the fact that there is now another person in this equation and everything can't always be about me and what I want, and when I want it, and how much I want to spend on it. Learning to factor in another's wants and needs was a big adjustment for me, after being on my own since I was 18. I'm now 31, so there were a lot of years of conditioning there. But it's working out beautifully, and I'm so happy.

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

I am helping my FH move in next weekend. I am feeling a little wierd also. I have a 6 year old daughter that he absolutely adores and she feels the ssame about him, but I think it will take a little adjusting having all 3 of us together 24/7. I am very excited about him moving in. I am also just starting construction on my house(it's a ranch and I'm making into a mother/daughter type so my sister can stay with us)so it's gonna be crazy in my house!!!
But hey...a little more stress is fine with me!!!

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

FH and I have been living together for 2 years this coming December (mind you we've been together for 2 1/2 years) and it sure wasn't easy.. I went from playing house to wanting to kill him with my bear hands!! Just take it easy and go into it with a clear head and no high expectations.. things will be fine.. you may see some things that you'd rather not, lol but other than that things will be fine..

Also, remember that even though you live together and will be together for what feels like 24/7, you need alone time as well.. whether it be reading a book, taking a long bath or even being on here, it does help, trust me.. make sure you give yourself that..

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

You guys really are awesome!! Thank you so much for your good advice and encouraging words!

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

TG everyone has settling in problems. We lived together briefly about 2 years ago, and while I am looking forward to being married, and the whole thing, there's just a little part of me that is TERRIFIED

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

we just moved in together in July, and still doing some transitioning... Just a bit... BTW, I think my fi is lurking on these boards now that we're searching for a photographer :-)

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

We moved in together about a month and a half ago and yes there are times that he drives me CRAZY, but that will all work it self out in time. The most important thing is to keep the communication open and talk about any problems and always remember the things that made you love him to begin with

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

It will be a year the end of this month that we have been living togehter. We had never had a fight before moving in and we still haven't really had one yet. But we are at a point where the lovey dovey stuff is being upstaged by everyday life and the details of wedding planning and just settling into what is pretty much already married life. So for me, I can feel myself starting to notice what we don't have in common rather than being all about how great we get along. It's all great...don't get me wrong, but I can now understand the transition periods and how they say relationships evolve, etc.

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

I have been doing the long distance thing(a few days every month) since we got engaged (memorial day weekend).

This coming January I'm making the big move and we will be starting to live together then.

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

I know EXACTLY how you feel. This week has been very emotional for me just thinking about it. FI and I have been together for almost 7 years and NEVER have lived together. This week we were told our offer on a home was accepted. Closing date is set for early February and I feel like throwing up ust thinking about moving in with him (in a good, nervous, happy way not in a dreading it way, LOL!!!). Wedding planning is stressful enough now I have to deal with a new home just months before the wedding....

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

My Fh is here almost the whole week, except Wednesdays. It was weird at first, but it is nice to always know I can count on him. We have grown closer then we ever were. There was a transition period for awhile, but not too bad, we never really fought over anyhting except that I am in his'lane' when I sleep. We have a king size bed and he seems think that since he is bigger(He is six feet , 2 inches tall!) he should get more of the the bed. UGH! I look forward to Wednesdays! But I know in 16 months or less he will be here 24/7, the only reason he is not here on Wednesdays is he has classes, he is a teacher and is going for 30 credits and above. I still see my friends and socialize without him also. It is good to keep doing that because you are still your own person.Good luck! Keep us posted!

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

Matt and I have lived together almost a year now. Our biggest problem was making space for Matt's 'stuff' and I use the term literally. My soon to be hubby is a pack rat (admit Matthew!) Once I convinced him to get rid of things he has had since god knows when and he got over the fact that freshly ironed shirts don't need 6 inches of room on either side we were ok. Now I can't remember what it was like to live alone

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

FI and I moved in together over a year ago. There is definitely a transition period. At first, everything was hunky-dory, then I was ready to leave him after several months because I couldn't get him to wash dishes every night! Needless to say, you learn about compromising and not letting the small things in life (like dirty dishes) get in the way of the bigger, more important things (like your love for each other). After a while, the two of you settle into each other's life. It is always nice at the end of the day to see your honey at home with you!

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

We've been living together for about a year. It just confirmed what we already knew. We are perfect for one another. We both help with all the cooking and cleaning.

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

I've already started training him - the nights he comes over and I cook - he cleans. It took a few tries for him to get it right (he used to just squirt the dishwasher detergent all over the dishes, instead of the holder). I'll domesticate him yet

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

Don't worry, it's a good thing. Like others here said, you have your moments when you argue about things, but on a whole it really is great. We've had our disagreements lately especially with planning a wedding and our normal monthly expenses but you have to just work through it.
Anyone else having the same issue now planning the wedding?

Re: Getting Ready to Move In Together

My FH & I don't live together YET

I WISH

He will be putting his place on the market around the end of the year & then he'll move in here.

I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!

About once a month or so he stays here a week at a time and things are great. He cooks, cleans up, does laundry, brings me flowers just because.

I also had to add that we have
NEVER had a fight.

Jodi