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My FH and I met over the weekend with the Cantor who is going to marry us. She is a reformed Cantor. But my FH is divorced, and she said he needs to get a Ghet (it gets sent to his exwife or at least her parents to forward) and that it could cost $350-$400. Has anyone gone though this? Is there a cheaper way to get it done. Is it really necessary? Help! Thanks.
Actually, a husband grants his ex wife the Ghet. IT shouldn't be that hard considering that HE actually decides whether or not to do it and not the woman. It is not necessary for a civil ceremony, but I would feel better about having one if that were my personal situation. It is like a clean fresh start to a new life together.
My husband was divorced also, and as part of the divorce he and his ex-wife ordered a Ghet. They had theirs done in Israel (where they are from, and let me tell you, what a PAIN! City hall almost refused to accept the Ghet as proof of the divorce because it was in Hebrew!). I don't know how much it costs, but I do know that it is necessary. When we got married at City Hall, they wouldn't accept any of our paperwork without the Ghet.
I don't know much about the practicality of obtaining a ghet, but it's expensive because the document has t be drawn up anew for each couple, it can NOT be a form letter type of thing.
B/c I go to a Jewish law school we spent some time on Ghets in my family law class. They are required for a 'religious divorce' if they signed a Ketubah at the ceremony, but they are absolutely positively not required for a civil divorce, or to get remarried civilly. The cantor can, however, decide that she will only marry you if you get a Ghet. There are many rabbis and cantors who would not require this, and a non-religious officiant would absolutely not require one. As far as costs, I cannot help you there.
