I am a BM in an upsoming wedding. To cover the cost of mine and FH plate we would have to give a gift of $450.00. For me right now, I just don't have it. I am spending a fortune on her wedding between the dress, alterations, shoes, staying at the hotel the night of for the breakfast in the morning and spend a lot on her bridal shower gifts etc, etc... is it completely rude and horrible of me if I give less then covering our plates?!?!?!?!
FutureJOC
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Re: Gift for wedding
not at all.
I was a BM in a wedding were the couple was spending $240 per plate. FH and I gave $300 as a gift.
chreesta
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Re: Gift for wedding
I say, you give what you can.
ready2wed
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Re: Gift for wedding
OMG, where is she having the wedding? You are suppose to cover your plate but with a price like that I'm sure she doesn't expect everyone too. Tell her you would love to give her more but you gave her all you could afford. I'm sure she will understand especially with your wedding coming. She is your friend...
allornil
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Re: Gift for wedding
I guarantee she doesn't expect you to cover your plates. Plus being in the BP, she knows you've spent a lot already. I bet she's happy you;re just involved in her special day. Give what you can afford.
njoseph8
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Re: Gift for wedding
Posted by FutureJOC
not at all.
I was a BM in a wedding were the couple was spending $240 per plate. FH and I gave $300 as a gift.
I'm so glad you said that $$ amt bc that is the exact # we were thinking!!! Thank you!!
njoseph8
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Re: Gift for wedding
Posted by ready2wed
OMG, where is she having the wedding? You are suppose to cover your plate but with a price like that I'm sure she doesn't expect everyone too. Tell her you would love to give her more but you gave her all you could afford. I'm sure she will understand especially with your wedding coming. She is your friend...
The Woodlands... it's 225$ pp - nuts to me!! her wedding and mine will be COMPLETE opposites!! hahaha I am doing EVERYTHING as cheap as I can!!
allornil
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Re: Gift for wedding
Posted by njoseph8
Posted by FutureJOC
not at all.
I was a BM in a wedding were the couple was spending $240 per plate. FH and I gave $300 as a gift.
I'm so glad you said that $$ amt bc that is the exact # we were thinking!!! Thank you!!
that's really generous btw. you shouldn't be worried at all!
evita2781
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Re: Gift for wedding
i dont think you need to cover a plate - i think you should give what you are comfortable with and what you can afford. Like you said, you've spent a lot of money already plus you have your own wedding that you're paying for.
leighlo1226
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Re: Gift for wedding
Posted by njoseph8
Posted by ready2wed
OMG, where is she having the wedding? You are suppose to cover your plate but with a price like that I'm sure she doesn't expect everyone too. Tell her you would love to give her more but you gave her all you could afford. I'm sure she will understand especially with your wedding coming. She is your friend...
The Woodlands... it's 225$ pp - nuts to me!! her wedding and mine will be COMPLETE opposites!! hahaha I am doing EVERYTHING as cheap as I can!!
THAT IS INSANE! I'm a Woodlands bride and that is no where near what I'm paying but then again I'm considered off season (even though the place screams fall to me when the fire place and vintage feel) I guess I lucked out....?
FutureJOC
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Re: Gift for wedding
Posted by njoseph8
Posted by FutureJOC
not at all.
I was a BM in a wedding were the couple was spending $240 per plate. FH and I gave $300 as a gift.
I'm so glad you said that $$ amt bc that is the exact # we were thinking!!! Thank you!!
seriously though, as a part of the BP, the couple knows how much you have put in, both monetarily and helping out along the way, I don't think they would be a leasy bit offended that you didn't 'cover the plate'. Don't sweat it. They will be happy with whatever you give them.
njoseph8
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Re: Gift for wedding
Thank you sooooo much girls!!! I have been STRESSING this!!! I now feel relieved and less horrible of a person that I just don't have an extra $450 lol You girls are the best!!!
Chanwich
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Re: Gift for wedding
You definitely should just give whatever you can. I'm sure your friend realizes what you've already spent being in the BP. And if she is a true friend, $ shouldn't matter.
I was in a bit of a financial situation for one of my good friends weddings and I couldn't give her what I wanted to. I told her that and she told me that she didn't even care if I gave her anything, as long as I was there to share the day with her! I'm sure your friend feels the same way
aquag12283
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Re: Gift for wedding
I was in a wedding recently and gave a gift of $400, but give what you can Im sure the bride knows how expensive everything is so im sure she will be fine with whatever you give
LisaandRyan
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Re: Gift for wedding
Posted by leighlo1226
Posted by njoseph8
Posted by ready2wed
OMG, where is she having the wedding? You are suppose to cover your plate but with a price like that I'm sure she doesn't expect everyone too. Tell her you would love to give her more but you gave her all you could afford. I'm sure she will understand especially with your wedding coming. She is your friend...
The Woodlands... it's 225$ pp - nuts to me!! her wedding and mine will be COMPLETE opposites!! hahaha I am doing EVERYTHING as cheap as I can!!
THAT IS INSANE! I'm a Woodlands bride and that is no where near what I'm paying but then again I'm considered off season (even though the place screams fall to me when the fire place and vintage feel) I guess I lucked out....?
Agreed!!! I'm getting married at The Woodlands next Sept. on a Saturday and I'm not paying anywhere close to that either! Yowzah.
TheFutureMrs2011
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Re: Gift for wedding
Jsquared
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Re: Gift for wedding
Im sure that is the total for the plates AFTER tax, gratuity and any additional packages.. The 'cover your plate' thing.. Is meant for the plate amount..Which is considered proper etiquette.. It is not taking the additional fees into consideration ( AND IT SHOULDN'T !!) I am sure she is spending about $150 pp without those things, and your $300 gift is more than enough!!!! When people call RH to ask the plate amount (yes people do this) so that they can give a gift accordingly, they RH doesn't say 'well its xxxx but with tax and tip,etc.. ' !!
She may be stretching the truth , may not.. It is possible to pay that much just in gratuities and add-ons.. . DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT!!! Trust me, she cant possibly expect people to cover their plates- I am sure she just wants you there with her... Go , give whatever you can, and have fun!!!!
njoseph8
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Re: Gift for wedding
It is a Septemeber Sat night and it is after allllll the extras and including tax and tip... haahahah I never thought of covering the plate just before all that hahah
Jsquared
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Re: Gift for wedding
Posted by njoseph8
It is a Septemeber Sat night and it is after allllll the extras and including tax and tip... haahahah I never thought of covering the plate just before all that hahah
Thats their choice to add stuff in ... And their responsibity to pay the tax and tip, not yours!! Trust me when I tell you $300 is more than enough.. I will be more than grateful if i get that much from anyone, nevermind a BP member!!
evita2781
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Re: Gift for wedding
Posted by Jsquared
Posted by njoseph8
It is a Septemeber Sat night and it is after allllll the extras and including tax and tip... haahahah I never thought of covering the plate just before all that hahah
Thats their choice to add stuff in ... And their responsibity to pay the tax and tip, not yours!! Trust me when I tell you $300 is more than enough.. I will be more than grateful if i get that much from anyone, nevermind a BP member!!
