One of my BMs decided to stop talking to me and another girl thats getting married in Oct 08 because we emailed her for her bday instead of calling her. I posted about this a while back...
I have an excuse though, I was swamped at work and had a big surveillance thing going on, so I quickly sent her an email to wish her a happy bday(my other friend did the same, but arranged for a birthday dinner that following weekend). This was the first week in May. It's now mid-June and no calls, nothing. She sent us both emails about how selfish we are and how we're 'busy with our own lives and our fiances' I apologized and she accepted. Sure, am I making up for it? Of course, but at this point its petty. She posts blogs on Myspace about true friends and how she realizes how inconsiderate people are.
Anyway, I called my bff and she was like listen, shes gonna be nothing but drama-she's known to cause trouble. Cut the cord and dont have her in your wedding. I can go on and on about how ridiculous this has gotten, but this is just the jist of it.
Should I just move on and forget about it? Tell me what you guys think...one friend is saying eff her, the other is saying its just her being usual self, she'll get over it and to keep her in the BP.
chicky724
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
Since you still have a while before the wedding I wouldn’t cut her out yet… give her a month or so to cool off. If it gets to be the time of when you’re ordering the BM dresses and she’s STILL not talking to you, then I think it's time to yank her.
egem523
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
I mentioned to you before you did nothing wrong by sending her email. You do not owe any further explaination or have an excuse ready for her. If being a drama queen what makes her happy I would cut your losses. It shows what type of friend she is. Trust me you do not need the extra drama especially in your BP. It is her loss not being apart of your special day.
vicky1125
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
your wedding is still over a year away so give her some time to cool off. some people just over react. but give yourself a cut off date at which you have to make a decision to drop her or not.
flairforfashion
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
Honestly, if she is upset about a birthday email, there are probably underlying problems there. I am sorry but if someone gets mad about an email, they need to seriously chill out. She's the one being selfish here. Sh*t, I don't even get a birthday email- I just get a happy birthday greeting on MySpace and that makes me happy. So, it makes no sense. I think you did all you can do. Let her come to you.
ddnsp618
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
im going to have to disagree with some of the responses....get rid of her. you didnt do anything wrong by sending her an email we are adults, not kids at a chuck e cheese party, honestly she should have been happy with an email! and really, if she is causing drama now- what happens when you pick a color she doesnt like or something and she stops talking to you a month before your wedding. i would speak to her, let her know why you are dumping her and get rid of the drama! weddings are stressful enough
::rant over::
MEMEJOR
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
if u really want her in your bp... i would just wait... Sometimes we hurt the people we love... I would ask her if she wants to even be in the bridal party
MaggieLuvsJoe
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
It sounds like she's using excuses to start arguments with you. Maybe she's jealous that you're planning a wedding. I would cut her off, you dont need someone stirring up trouble when it comes time to pick dresses or do anything that has to do with the wedding.
I would forget about her being in the BP and move on.
BarbieGrl10
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
Could you talk to her in person about this again? I think you should and see how she acts after...then decide what you want to do.
I'm big on second chances though.
lilpiggy742
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
I would give her a little time and if she's still like this in a few months...then have a serious talk with her and be like 'if you are going to ignore me and not speak to me..i'm going to have to take you out of the bp and i'd really hate to do that because i want you to be a part of my special day'seriously it might take a threat to get her to realize how she's acting
VickiR510
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
Ok you posted about this awhile ago & here you are still posting about it because this girl is ridiculous! I think this should answer your question & if you want me to get technical & spill it all out DITCH THE B*T!H!!!
SOTHISISLOVE53109
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
I'm in the same boat haven't talked to my BM in about 6 months and it's my FSIL.
I would be so happy if she just cut herself out although she told me I no longer existed to her...so maybe I don't have to do anything.
I really don't want to go through all the planning like this ...so hopefully she won't talk to me until after 5-31-09 and I don't have to worry about it.
Girl I feel you pain! maybe see if things cool off and go from there...it sounds like she has some serious issues that she is taking out on other people
cedesnyc
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
eehhhh I've been through enough girl friends drama in my lifetime.....if she's going to make a big deal about the email message after an apology and dinner.....eff it. She's acting childish. You need BMs that are going to help you, be there for you and be happy, not to give you grief.
Had a similar situation....i don't stress it, just move on...she may be jealous of you anyway.
lanamanitta
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
I'm all for writing her off. She's being unbelievably immature and not a friend. None of us call each other on our birthdays unless we remember and have time, and half the time, we don't, but we're not each other's Mothers or FH's . . . . and we're not 10 years old.
She doesn't sound ready to be in a bridal party, especially if she can't appreciate how busy you are . . . . very self-centered, and that doesn't work in a BM.
DonnaPWhite1124
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
Thanks guys! i have to say, I thought I was being wrong by not talking to her or reaching out to her.
But when i'm done, im done once and for all. If anything, SHE lost out, not me and the other girl.
dazies1011
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
I would cut her out....
mdawg
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Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
Posted by VickiR510
Ok you posted about this awhile ago & here you are still posting about it because this girl is ridiculous! I think this should answer your question & if you want me to get technical & spill it all out DITCH THE B*T!H!!!
Re: Gimme some advice ladies-BM will NOT speak to me!
Posted by flairforfashion
Honestly, if she is upset about a birthday email, there are probably underlying problems there. I am sorry but if someone gets mad about an email, they need to seriously chill out. She's the one being selfish here. Sh*t, I don't even get a birthday email- I just get a happy birthday greeting on MySpace and that makes me happy. So, it makes no sense. I think you did all you can do. Let her come to you.
ita... sounds like you and your friend have deeper issues than just an email.
