So, I have a 1st cousin, she is several years younger than I, and she just got engaged this past sunday. We are very close.
So, I spoke to her before, and she sounded a little weird, so I asked her 'is everything ok'?
And she responded 'I don't want you to hate me'..
Um..ok...'why would I hate you'?
bottom line: She wants to get married FALL of 2010....basically three weeks before me.
I really am NOT mad at all, quite the opposite, UNTIL I randomly mentioned it to my friend, and she got me all fired up!
We will have about 100 of the same guests, aside from that, the bridal showers..... On the other hand, I do not expect anyone to revolve their lives around my wedding, after all, we were engaged for two years...
I guess I wanted to know how all of you would react to this...
PLEASE DO NOT QUOTE!!
20mrsc10
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Re: Girls- ? For you....
uggg i know situations like this are hard..however, i would like to think that the people coming to both (family im assuming, would do right by both of you)..will she be able to go to yours still though? i think that would be important to her
Lisalana
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Re: Girls- ? For you....
That's definitely a tough situation, but you can't really do anything about it, so it's better just to take the high road and be excited for her.
My best friend is getting married a month before me - and sure, we have to coordinate our showers and b parties - but its fun to have someone who's going through everything at the exact same time as me!
And who knows if she'll even find a place.... October is very popular, so a lot of places may be booked already.
Alyssa79
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i have NO advice on this but FH's cousin picked 4 days before ours and I am LIVID. PEOPLE F*CKIN ****!!!!!!!
MrsC2010
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i would probably be upset....especially if it meant some ppl might not want to or be able to go to both weddings within a short period.
Mrs Z To Be
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Posted by Alyssa79
i have NO advice on this but FH's cousin picked 4 days before ours and I am LIVID. PEOPLE F*CKIN ****!!!!!!!
WOW!! That is bad....
AngnShaun
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Re: Girls- ? For you....
that is a tough situation... i wish i had some words of wisdom to help you... but if you are close with her could you talk to her about it?
kimmaymb20
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I totally understand where ur coming from because my younger cousin just got engaged in sept is getting married aug of 2010. I was very upset at first but then I realized that my wedding is going to be fantablous no matter when she gets married. Also if its family they will still come to ur wedding and have a great time.
grkbarbie
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Re: Girls- ? For you....
do NOT tell her about this site because she will NOT BE GREETED WITH WARMTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! effin PUTA!
also, scare her. tell her how stressful it is and how ur nowhere nearr done and youve been plannign forever. etc etc
do NOT share your vendors with her.. or your ideas or anything
im with barb. at least convince her to get married AFTER you. also keep in mind- if you have OOT family, they're going to come to your cuz's wedding and then COME BACK three weeks later? no i think not. you got engaged first!!
my brother threatened me when i got engaged after him to not marry b4 him.
of my 2 cousins who got engaged after me, 1 is getting married 3 weeks later. i could care less cuz my wedding is going to be the bomb and everyone's going to compare mine to hers... lol im a biyach.
SummerBride10
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Re: Girls- ? For you....
It would scuk for guests...but honestly, if two of my first cousins were getting married and I knew about it ahead of timem I'd scuk it up. People know about weddings months in advance (usually), so I would just financially and save.
Of course some people might still have a hard time financially Maybe talk to your cousin and explain this to her, from a guests POV.
Jna2010
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Re: Girls- ? For you....
let me start by saying at least she considered your feelings... that alone says A LOT. yes it does su ck because your so close in date but being that your actually close with her i dont think you would say to her no u cant get married in the fall lol... so while yes it is a little frustarting on the brite side you get to plan your wedding with someone too!! and you actually like them lol woohoo!!! i would hope that of those 100 same guests they would go to both at least those that are very close ya know, either way im sure itll be fine!
heathery72
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Re: Girls- ? For you....
I would be upset. It ***** to wait so long for something and then share. It might inconvience oot guests and they might stress about the cost of two weddings in a month.
Rosalind_75
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Re: Girls- ? For you....
i guess this is the downside of having a long engagement. friends and family will get engaged after you but might not want/need the long engagement like you did.
it happend to us
fsil got engaged 8/2008 then set her date for 10/2010
we got engaged 11/2008 and set it for 4/2010 we couldnt afford to get married asap but fh didnt want to wait till 2011 either. to be honest fh and i really wanted get married the end of may or the end of june but out of respect to fsil we decided that a 6month gap was a must.
we have been having fun planning together but i think its because we have such different taste in things.
i really am sorry shes thinking about having it so close to yours like another bride said she might change her mind once she gets an idea of how much all of this really cost.
pjankowski
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Re: Girls- ? For you....
It happens.... you can't control it so just be happy for your cousin! 2 celebrations in one year...your family is lucky! Usually family members see each other at sad times...and they seem more frequent than the happy ones!
Clover23
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Posted by Jna2010
let me start by saying at least she considered your feelings... that alone says A LOT. yes it does su ck because your so close in date but being that your actually close with her i dont think you would say to her no u cant get married in the fall lol... so while yes it is a little frustarting on the brite side you get to plan your wedding with someone too!! and you actually like them lol woohoo!!! i would hope that of those 100 same guests they would go to both at least those that are very close ya know, either way im sure itll be fine!
ITA.... very well said.
MrsSoto
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Re: Girls- ? For you....
i didnt read the other responses so sorry if this is repepitive.
i know maybe it sounds selfish or whateva but honestly in this situation, i think that its a little rude of her.
i think its different when one couple gets engaged not long or even up to 6 months after the other couple and then they happen to book their wedding for before yours... thats one thing but seeing that youve been engaged for this long already and everything is all planned out, i think in this situation its not right for her to have booked hers for 3 weeks before yours.
you should ask her, why would you think im would be mad? if she doesnt think anything is wrong with what she did, then she wouldnt have had the feeling that you 'might' be upset with her. people only are worried about that if they know they have done something not right or something they wouldnt be happy about.
it doesnt sound like she did it maliciously or anything but i think its your time and you should have your time to yourself without hers being 3 weeks before yours.
if i sound like a biatch, sorry. whichever way, yours will still be unique and special and wonderful but i could understand where you are coming from with not wanting guests to have just gone to hers, and all that other pre-wedding stuff.
regy_k
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Re: Girls- ? For you....
Lisa, I have no idea even what to say to this. On the on side its great and who cares, but then planning for 2 yrs and now to share, and not only to share but also to have hers before urs. just a bad situation.
but what u have to remeber is that we all said something when we just got engaged and then reality of cost of things and timings set in and it all changed. so who knows even if her wedding will happen before urs and esp in Oct of 2010.
I don't see the big deal. She may have wanted to have a year long engagement and nothing more. Plus a few people mentioned how its unfair for guests to go to 2 weddings within a short period of time... So that would mean that if she gets married a month after you, it would still be bad.
Honestly, I wouldn't let something like this bother you. Your day will still be your day. It's kind of unfair to claim an entire season.. Sorry
JillandJoe
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Re: Girls- ? For you....
i believe the person engaged first gets married and then the other person should wait til the following year...but not everyone follows that or agrees with me apaprently... im sorry
