Girls- ? For you....

Original post by Mrs Z To Be

Oct 27, 2009 07:07 PM

So, I have a 1st cousin, she is several years younger than I, and she just got engaged this past sunday. We are very close.

So, I spoke to her before, and she sounded a little weird, so I asked her 'is everything ok'?

And she responded 'I don't want you to hate me'..

Um..ok...'why would I hate you'?

bottom line: She wants to get married FALL of 2010....basically three weeks before me.

I really am NOT mad at all, quite the opposite, UNTIL I randomly mentioned it to my friend, and she got me all fired up!

We will have about 100 of the same guests, aside from that, the bridal showers.....
On the other hand, I do not expect anyone to revolve their lives around my wedding, after all, we were engaged for two years...

I guess I wanted to know how all of you would react to this...

PLEASE DO NOT QUOTE!!

Melvin1297 Posted: Oct 27, 2009 09:24 PM

Re: Girls- ? For you....

Posted by Alyssa79

i have NO advice on this but FH's cousin picked 4 days before ours and I am LIVID. PEOPLE F*CKIN ****!!!!!!!

Same with us... FH's cousin has been dating this girl for just a year (met her for the first time at our eparty) and got engaged on their one year anniversary this past summer. We have been together 12 years this December.Now mind you we checked with everyone and told them our date before we officially booked and now they are getting married 3 weeks after us..... At least we are first but have some consideration......

Melvin1297 Posted: Oct 27, 2009 09:26 PM

Re: Girls- ? For you....

Posted by grkbarbie

do NOT tell her about this site because she will NOT BE GREETED WITH WARMTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! effin PUTA!

also, scare her. tell her how stressful it is and how ur nowhere nearr done and youve been plannign forever. etc etc

do NOT share your vendors with her.. or your ideas or anything

be civil.. minimal wedding talk

THIS

MEANS

WARRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ditto!!!!!

Mrs Z To Be Posted: Oct 27, 2009 09:46 PM

Re: Girls- ? For you....

Ok- First of all- you girls rock.

Barbs- You crack me up.

And Mariane- You are totally right....And I am NOT claiming an entire season...

I see both sides of the situation...So I am happy, and I think it could be a lot of fun, but there is STILL a small part of me that feels slighted, simply because of the fact that I personally, would not do this to her, or a friend for that matter....

Either way, everything will work out!!! Thanks everyone!

FutureCap Posted: Oct 27, 2009 09:48 PM

Re: Girls- ? For you....

Posted by Alyssa79

i have NO advice on this but FH's cousin picked 4 days before ours and I am LIVID. PEOPLE F*CKIN ****!!!!!!!

oh dear

Mrs Z To Be Posted: Oct 27, 2009 09:50 PM

Re: Girls- ? For you....

Posted by Rosalind_75

i guess this is the downside of having a long engagement. friends and family will get engaged after you but might not want/need the long engagement like you did.

it happend to us

fsil got engaged 8/2008 then set her date for 10/2010

we got engaged 11/2008 and set it for 4/2010
we couldnt afford to get married asap but fh didnt want to wait till 2011 either.
to be honest fh and i really wanted get married the end of may or the end of june but out of respect to fsil we decided that a 6month gap was a must.

we have been having fun planning together but i think its because we have such different taste in things.

i really am sorry shes thinking about having it so close to yours
like another bride said she might change her mind once she gets an idea of how much all of this really cost.

Ros- Unfortunatly, money is no object for her!
And I agree with what you said...I would make sure there were a gap if it were me.

FallBride2010 Posted: Oct 27, 2009 09:56 PM

Re: Girls- ? For you....

It kind of ***** for the reasons you mentioned, but I dont know if you can be that mad. If she has her heart set on a Fall wedding, you cant expect her to wait another year. I booked my wedding for 6 weeks after my cousins. Honestly, I didnt even think about it being an issue.

JLWSJC Posted: Oct 27, 2009 10:05 PM

Re: Girls- ? For you....

Honestly, I would be not ANGRY but a little upset.

If you're close, I'd probably bring it up to her in a very non-confrontational way and tell her listen, I'm not mad, you're entitled to want to get married when you want to get married, but we've had our wedding planned for a while and it's going to burden a lot of our common guests.

Also, since you're close, that you're going to be putting finishing touches on your wedding at that time and you want to be able to focus on her for her wedding without worrying about your own at the same time.

And see if she reconsiders.

If she says no, then you've done what you can and you'll both live with it. But she might not have thought of these things. Obviously she was worried if you'd be mad. Just make it cler you're not mad, but you're concerned about logistics. If you're not a bridezilla about it (which I'm sure you won't be) she might think about it.

Good luck. You wedding will be fantastic either way So don't worry too much.

sugarnspice Posted: Oct 27, 2009 10:12 PM

Re: Girls- ? For you....

Just smile and think of the bare minimum. With or without her wedding, you are still marrying the man of your dreams and if this is the hardest thing you have to deal with, your pretty lucky

HTH

BriansWifey Posted: Oct 28, 2009 12:02 AM

Re: Girls- ? For you....

i dont think i would mind. i say this even tho i am not the one in the situation, but i cant see it affecting me unless there are some OOT guests that can only make it one wedding or something..... idk JMO tho

futureMrsJSL Posted: Oct 28, 2009 07:44 AM

Re: Girls- ? For you....

Personally, I wouldn't be happy with that idea. Especially since you've been engaged for 2 whole years but it's a situation where there is not much you can do. I think she should have been courteous enough to wait till after your wedding. You have every right to mention if but if your initial reaction was a good one then don't let others influence you.

jcreilly Posted: Oct 28, 2009 08:00 AM

Re: Girls- ? For you....

That is tough but your family will do right by you Im sure!

stinenandy2010 Posted: Oct 28, 2009 08:04 AM

Re: Girls- ? For you....

honestly i would be upset...actually i was in the same situation as you. my very close cousin got engaged before me and picked fall 2009, i really wanted fall as well when i got engaged, but since we do have a lot of the same guests i wanted to space my wedding at least 6-8weeks after hers. but it worked out since we chose january anyway.

i would just be concerned that any OOT family that you have would not be able to make both. i think three weeks is cutting it close, would she be back from her hm for your wedding? i dunno i guess its just a lot to think about. but i would be slightly upset.

KatieG2010 Posted: Oct 28, 2009 09:49 AM

Re: Girls- ? For you....

I would be upset. FH and I orginally wanted our wedding in October but one of our groomsmen booked his wedding 3 weeks later and we thought it was very rude to book so close to his date. IMHO i think it is in bad taste because you have so many people who have to attend both weddings and it's a lot of money for your guests.

MarjorieFrank Posted: Oct 28, 2009 09:51 AM

Re: Girls- ? For you....

I would be mad... you have had your wedding planned for months. I would be pissed off if anyone close to me got married within months of me, let alone weeks.