Girls, I need your advice. Is my FH right or am I right?

Original post by rbjugdarro

Feb 01, 2009 11:46 AM

Last nite we had a disagreement and both ended up crying. Heres the story: FH is guyanese, Iam ecuadorian/peruvian. Due to their custom his parents are throwing a party for us the day after our wedding in our new house since they live in Minnesota. Its a party to celebrate the union of 2 families. THerefore no honeymoon. His parents are coming the 24th and leavin july 1st. FH doesnt want to leave for honeymoon until they leave our house. I was upset but fine I went along with that. We are planning our HM for July 8 then, fine. Here's the prob: on our wedding nite we will be coming home to my in laws!!! I've been waitin for a year to move into our new house that we bought a year ago and the day of our wedding night, our first night of husband and wife in our home together, we will have company!!! I neva pictured my wedding nite like this. He feels stuck in the middle cuz he wants to give me everyting in the world but at the same time doesnt want to be rude to his parents and ask them to stay somewhere else for at least 1 day. We only see them 1 a yr and he misses them so much. He is the best man i eva met or had. He would do anything for me, my family and even my friends. He asked me to do this 1 thing for him. But it crushed my dreams that I have had since I was a little girl. I cant believe his parents havent thought that we might want to be alone for at least our wedding night!!!! Listen, his parents are great, love me to death and r so excited about our wedding. We are their only hope since the other 2 children they have ended up with losers. My FH is the only one that is doing this wedding thing right and they are so proud and happy for him/us. I love them but just wish and pray that they decide on their own to stay with other family members they have that live near us for at least one day, just one day!!!
So, what do u guys think? Is he right or should I insist that he say something?
Really upset about this. Am i being silly?

bcheryl Posted: Feb 01, 2009 04:22 PM

Re: Girls, I need your advice. Is my FH right or am I right?

I also agree. If you can't stay in your house alone, you should go to a hotel. It's your wedding night you 2 should be alone that night!

TheFutureMrsM Posted: Feb 01, 2009 04:33 PM

Re: Girls, I need your advice. Is my FH right or am I right?

If his parents have no objection, you should spend your wedding night alone at a hotel.
Your inlaws can stay at the house and prepare for the party the next day. and then after you check out of the hotel you can go to the house and have the party.

It seems like you both are living separately and the wedding night will be your first time together.
i hear ya on wanting to spend it in the house that you bought together over a year ago, but a hotel seems like a better option.

My friends slept over my house on my wedding night, i didnt mind at all, because we were going to brunch the next day, but i also lived with my FH for years before so it wasnt that big of a deal to me to be alone on my wedding night.

HTH

occhi21 Posted: Feb 01, 2009 04:56 PM

Re: Girls, I need your advice. Is my FH right or am I right?

I agree with most of the ladies and say stay in a hotel. Why dont you make it something different by staying somewhere different like the city. If cost is an issue(I cant imagine paying a mortage while paying for a wedding!)why dont you try priceline!
I use the site biddingfortravel.com which is a blog that tells you hotels and how much they go for via priceline!

EmiNoa628 Posted: Feb 01, 2009 05:00 PM

Re: Girls, I need your advice. Is my FH right or am I right?

Posted by rbjugdarro

the only cultural thing is the party after our wedding, which is fine with me now but its the face that they have to stay with us all week. Cant they just give me one day????
thanks for ur response

Awwww .. Future Parents in Law are a case... I understand you want to be alone with FH.. But try and spend the night at a hotel or something since you won't be going on your honeymoon soon after.. Probably they will change their minds and go somewhere else that night!! Really!!

grkbarbie Posted: Feb 01, 2009 05:56 PM

Re: Girls, I need your advice. Is my FH right or am I right?

if u cant stay at a hotel that nite(tell them your rh threw it in for free, so they wont get offended or feel bad bout staying at ur place)...

just let it go. u will have the rest of your lives to be with eachother.. i think after all this is over.. u willl look back and realize how petty it is...

also, they arent sleeping in your bedroom.. are they? lol

PROBM Posted: Feb 01, 2009 07:40 PM

Re: Girls, I need your advice. Is my FH right or am I right?

Posted by grkbarbie

if u cant stay at a hotel that nite(tell them your rh threw it in for free, so they wont get offended or feel bad bout staying at ur place)...

just let it go. u will have the rest of your lives to be with eachother.. i think after all this is over.. u willl look back and realize how petty it is...

also, they arent sleeping in your bedroom.. are they? lol

ita ... it snot a big deal at all!!! especially after the wedding you are seriously going to be so tired after such a long day the hour that youwillbe if that doing the hanky pany is no big deal unless they are sleeping in your bed i wouldnt care

RadiantBride Posted: Feb 01, 2009 07:43 PM

Re: Girls, I need your advice. Is my FH right or am I right?

Can you guys stay in a Hotel the night of your wedding? This way you will have your special wedding night and can go from the hotel to the celebration his parents are hosting as the Mr & Mrs.

MrsList09 Posted: Feb 01, 2009 07:51 PM

Re: Girls, I need your advice. Is my FH right or am I right?

Maybe you could ask another family member to hint that they should stay somewhere else that night. Or you could make hotel arrangements for them and pay for it and just tell them no offense, but we want to have our night to ourselves. I don't think you're wrong at all. This is A LOT for FH to ask of you - you only get one wedding night.

jennaandguy09 Posted: Feb 01, 2009 08:25 PM

Re: Girls, I need your advice. Is my FH right or am I right?

I'm so sorry you're going through this, it's a really difficult situation, however, I don't think it's a question of who's right and who's wrong, it's understandable that you both want to be alone on your wedding night, what about getting a hotel room for the two of you that night and letting FIL's stay at your house, I know you don't WANT to ask them to stay somewhere else, but maybe calling a relative and asking them to please ask FIL's to stay there on the wedding night is an option that doesn't hurt you OR FH.....I understand you're upset, and I hope it all works out for you, keep us posted and let us know what happens, good luck!!!

JennyAPH Posted: Feb 01, 2009 09:23 PM

Re: Girls, I need your advice. Is my FH right or am I right?

IMO its not about who is right.. its just about reaching a compromise. Can you guys stay in a hotel on your wedding night and let his parents stay at the house? At least you will have the night to yourselves.