Girls...I need your help NOW UPDATED

Ok I never thought I would be writing this post, but here I am. FH and I have hit a rough spot. The past few weeks have been distant, not very romantic whatsoever. I don't know if it is the stress and running around of the big day approaching in just 18 days but I am unhappy and hurt. I don't feel very loved or special or beautiful. I don't feel he even really has an interest in me right now. I know he loves me. He tells me a million times a day but the romance is just deflated. There hasn't been much intimacy whatsoever and when there is it is rushed and feels like an after thought.

I don't remember the last time we went on a date or did anything alone other than chores and wedding related things that need to get done.

I don't know what to do. Any advice? I have been crying pretty much all morning. I am really scared that this is happening so close to the wedding. I mean if the romance is fleeting now, what is going to happen after 20 years of marriage? Is this a sign? I am really scared. I want nothing more in life than to marry this man and build a life with him. Why is this happening now? Any words of support or encouragement would be greatly appreciated.




*** So yesterday I leave my office and go to the parking garage and on my passenger seat of my car is a dozen roses from FH! He is amazing! We talked and worked everything out and made the decision to not let the event get in the way of what this wedding/marriage is supposed to be about...US! So last night was great and tonight I am taking him on a date to our first date restaurant. I can't wait! I am so glad to have things getting back on track. He is my heart! I cannot wait to be his wife!! Thanks girls for all your help and support!

I have a class coming in but I will reply as soon as I can...

I do think that this is just a case of cold feet....don't panic!

I'm so sorry you're going through this. But your wedding is so close I'm sure it is just wedding related nerves and stress. If your relationship has always been what you wanted it to be and is now so close to your wedding only changing I would think that it must just nerves about the wedding approaching.
Please don't be upset your wedding is so close; you should be happy and excited!!!

All of my friends who have gotten married have told me they’ve felt the same day right before the wedding. You’re so busy and there’s so much to do that it’s hard to be romantic! You guys seem like the cutest couple, I’m sure you’ll be able to get through this!

honestly, i think it is just the stress of the wedding approaching. FH and i have been going through the same thing for MONTHS now - we're in the process of rennovating our new condo and planning this wedding at the same time and we have ZERO time for each other (because he works late on the weekdays and we're running around all weekend for condo/wedding stuff).

i know how you're feeling - but, it's just the stress of the time. every now and then FH and i just look at each other and laugh because we never have any time together (we're living at my parent's house right now!) but we know this time is temporary and that it will pass

there is a reason you're marrying your fiance. i have seen some of the posts you have written and i always thought that you and your FH were adorable and were such a great couple. i remember reading the letter he wrote to you that day when you were feeling down. remember those times and know that you're going through a stressful time now with the wedding but once it is all over, you will go back to being a little bit more carefree and you will actually have some time to enjoy each other!

so, don't cry, you're getting married soon and it's going to be the best day of your life! i hope you feel better but keep telling yourself that this, too, shall pass

Oh sweetie try to relax and dry your tears It is probably just the stress of the wedding putting a damper on everything. I would not take this as a sign of things to come or worry about what the future has to hold. Sometimes stress can lead to a decrease in intimacy. Maybe you can surprise FH with a date night...I know you mentioned that you received some lingerie at you bridal shower maybe you could model a couple of pieces for FH.

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Posted by StefPalma

honestly, i think it is just the stress of the wedding approaching. FH and i have been going through the same thing for MONTHS now - we're in the process of rennovating our new condo and planning this wedding at the same time and we have ZERO time for each other (because he works late on the weekdays and we're running around all weekend for condo/wedding stuff).

i know how you're feeling - but, it's just the stress of the time. every now and then FH and i just look at each other and laugh because we never have any time together (we're living at my parent's house right now!) but we know this time is temporary and that it will pass

there is a reason you're marrying your fiance. i have seen some of the posts you have written and i always thought that you and your FH were adorable and were such a great couple. i remember reading the letter he wrote to you that day when you were feeling down. remember those times and know that you're going through a stressful time now with the wedding but once it is all over, you will go back to being a little bit more carefree and you will actually have some time to enjoy each other!

so, don't cry, you're getting married soon and it's going to be the best day of your life! i hope you feel better but keep telling yourself that this, too, shall pass

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Wow thank you so much! I needed to hear that. I appreciate everything that you said very very much!

First off let me say this, you aren't alone. DH and I went through the exact same thing. I cried a few times a week about 2 months before our wedding. I felt like the 8 years we had been together were fading away, felt like there wasn't any romance any more. The stress of the wedding eats away at relationships. It becomes less about the actually event of becoming one and more about flowers, guest tables, hair and makeup than it does about the relationship. MY DH hated anything wedding related, he actually pulled the plug out of the wall one night when I was watching a wedding show. He couldn't take it. Told me he never wanted to hear about another wedding, and told me he would never go to a wedding ever again lol.

One night I was just honest with him, told him I didn't feel the way I wanted to or thought I would before I got married. I felt like we were drifting apart. We talked for a long time and we both knew once the wedding was over, and we went back to 'normal' life we would be fine. And, WE ARE.

You will see, after the wedding you will be closer than you ever were, the romance will be intense, and you will be able to relax. A wedding is one night, marriage is forever.

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Posted by MnM182008

First off let me say this, you aren't alone. DH and I went through the exact same thing. I cried a few times a week about 2 months before our wedding. I felt like the 8 years we had been together were fading away, felt like there wasn't any romance any more. The stress of the wedding eats away at relationships. It becomes less about the actually event of becoming one and more about flowers, guest tables, hair and makeup than it does about the relationship. MY DH hated anything wedding related, he actually pulled the plug out of the wall one night when I was watching a wedding show. He couldn't take it. Told me he never wanted to hear about another wedding, and told me he would never go to a wedding ever again lol.

One night I was just honest with him, told him I didn't feel the way I wanted to or thought I would before I got married. I felt like we were drifting apart. We talked for a long time and we both knew once the wedding was over, and we went back to 'normal' life we would be fine. And, WE ARE.

You will see, after the wedding you will be closer than you ever were, the romance will be intense, and you will be able to relax. A wedding is one night, marriage is forever.

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Thank you! I needed to hear that! That we aren't alone! Thank you very much.

i'm sorry you're going through this but honestly it happens. we go through rough patches where things are off and bounce right back. it's usually when we're both really stressed. have you tried talking to him about it? your best bet is to talk about it with him, he's the only one who can tell you how he feels. i just think it's the stress of it all.

Thanks so much girls! I feel much better now and so relieved. FH and I did talk about this a bit this morning before work, which lead to all the tears. I think we are going to talk more tonight. I plan on taking him out to dinner tomorrow to the restaurant where we had our first date. Hopefully that will be a good start....thanks again!

Yes, I agree with what the girls said. I'm sure its juys nerves and stress leading to the big day. I'm sure you guys will be fine. Sending your way!

first off ..im sure its nothing..the fact tha he says i love u several times a day should show u that..the final weeks b4 a wedding are stressful and im sure its just that..he is prob just a bit stressed and a bit nervous but if u r crying everyday then u need to sit and talk with him and ell him how u feel..he is going to be u husband..tell him how u feel he might not even know u feel this way...hth

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Posted by Jsquared279

Thanks so much girls! I feel much better now and so relieved. FH and I did talk about this a bit this morning before work, which lead to all the tears. I think we are going to talk more tonight. I plan on taking him out to dinner tomorrow to the restaurant where we had our first date. Hopefully that will be a good start....thanks again!

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And I think the dinner thing is as fantastic idea!