Good ol In Laws!!!!!!

Mikes dad tells us when we get engaged hes paying for he honeymoon, We can go to Hawaii. The man is so CHEAP. and hes LOADED!!!!!! Mikes mother tells mike she doesnt have to help pay for this wedding cause she already married her daughter shes done paying for weddings. So my parents are paying for this wedding alone. Then we ask for the guest list they give it to us but some people dont have address and some of them ive never even heard of...... I ask mike whos this whos this whos this he has no clue either. So these people are coming to our wedding and u dont even know who they are???? And they wont give us a cent for it. I goto mike house and get his parents phone book for the address they didnt give us. They have their names with no address.... OK if u dont send these people a christmas card every year. then thers no need for them to come to our wedding, Yesterday mike comes over and says I told my dad we got a package for Hawaii for like $5000.00. He freaked and said that was to much money. That by the way is half price because I have AAA. And they give discounts. Im so TICKED. Mike told his dad 5000.00 opposed to the 50,000.00 Kristins parents are paying for the wedding Im so mad!!!!!!!! I told him to tell his dad to not even pay for it dont do us any favors!
Mind u that the AAA price wasnt 5000.00 It was 2836.00 for 9 nights . 3 Nights in Oahu staying at The Royal Hawaiian in an Ocean View Room. Maui 3 nights staying at the Four Seasons Resort Maui Ocean View room. 3 Nights in Kaui at the Princeville Resort Ocean View Room. By the time we include Airfare and such it will come out to 5000.00 I think that is a great price for Hawaii. I dont want to sound like a selfish spoiled Bratt. But he said hed pay for the honeymoon and now he says he will only pay 3000.00 He should have said I will give u guys 3000.00 towards ure honeymoon. But he didnt he said hed pay for it.

Kristin, I completely understand...



If the wanted to give $3000, he should have said $3000!

Howwever, that is very nice and generous of your family!

why do weddings seem to bring out the worse in people? take the 3K and be glad he at least gave you that. I know it sucks he didnt do what he said, but you cant change people. As far as those people with no address? Tell his parents its getting to expensive and you have to cut the list,(unless they want to help pay for it of course), My opinion only, but I think at least one of you should know each person coming to the wedding! good luck

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Posted by kathleenmarie

why do weddings seem to bring out the worse in people? take the 3K and be glad he at least gave you that. I know it sucks he didnt do what he said, but you cant change people. As far as those people with no address? Tell his parents its getting to expensive and you have to cut the list,(unless they want to help pay for it of course), My opinion only, but I think at least one of you should know each person coming to the wedding! good luck

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I agree with kathleenmarie...I'd be happy with the money you are getting so far (in this day and age, no one has to give their kids anything. I am a beleiver that we are in a time where by the time we get married the women & men both work and should be able to pay for their wedding. (or course it's nice to start off the marriage with a lot more money) I wish I was getting the wedding alone paid for, a honeymoon too,,even better. But I do also agree with you and would be defensive as well if my family was paying for the wedding and yet his side was making requests. I would tell his side to help cut costs and cut down guest list.

if you can't swing the remainder in cost in honeymoon, maybe opt for a different desitnation than hawaii.

I completely sympathise, Kristin. My FH's parents are doing the exact same thing with the guest list. They first estimated that they'd be inviting aroung 40 people. They then gave me a list of the people they're inviting - much less than 40. I'm thinking 'Great, I'll make up a preliminary guest list with these names.'

About a month and a half ago, FH's Uncle passed away, and all these people who they hadn't seen or spoken to in years show up to the shiva call. Now she wants to invite all these people which, of course, will add up to around 40. She'll help pay for anyone over the 40, she says.

I already finalized the guest list! I had to uninvite some cousins BEFORE this!!!! They're not contributing anything at all so far, and my parents are taking out a loan to pay for the wedding (their choice - they insisted against my objections, but it adds to my guilt level). My mom says 'we'll work it out' and smiles - but I just don't know how my parents are going to swing this - they'll never get to retire at this point, and I already feel responsible.

And when I asked for a completely final guest list, all FMIL said was 'I'll try.'

This after she invited me out to lunch and made me pay.

To you.

I don't think that's a fair way of looking at it.

Adam and I offered to postpone our wedding until such time as we could afford it ourselves, however my parents insisted on paying for it. I feel very bad for the amount of money my parents are spending, and I'm sure that Kristin does too.

I'm sure you'd agree that guest lists are a very rough point of contention when dealing with weddings, and you can't just be adding people here and there indescriminately.

I'm also sure you'd agree that when we're dealing with a pay by the person rate on the catering, that adding an additional 20 people or so who were previously unnecessary without offering to help takes an awful lot of chutzpah.

Neither of us are complaining about things we feel we're entitled to. It's just that we have budgeted, and we are counting on certain promises to be fulfilled. These promises have been renegged on, and that's wrong.

I would have gotten married in Vegas. But my mom offered to pay for the wedding what I should say No cause I Work and Can Barley pay for it. Maybe Im a spoiled Bratt but My mom offered Sorry that I didnt Turn it down.


As for the Honeymoon Id be happy with going to the Poconos for 2 days if thats all I could afford. When we first got engaged we said we wanted to go to Hawaii but could never afford it. FH's dad came to us and said I decided to pay for the Honeymoon. Then we were talking about Tahiti or Bora Bora. He said nope I agreed to pay for Hawaii. We were like u didnt but whaterver. His mother Tells Everyone how its gonna Be a 10,000.00 Trip. Ok no its not!!!! Tonight FFIL says I have a budget and we agreed in the begining on the Budget of 5000.00. WE DIDNT!!!!! He said hed pay for the honeymoon. How can he sit there and say that? The mother insisted on telling the whole world it be a 10,000.00 Trip. Father said yesterday 5000.00 was to much and would only pay 3000.00 BUT TODAY its up 2 5000.00. Hes a LIAR! How can u do that to ure son? Indian Giver!!!! LOL
At this point dont do me any favors!!!! Ill pay for it on my own!!!!!!!