Grammer heeeeeelp!
Okay so here is my question - in our program we are explaining the Jewish rituals/traditions in our ceremony. I have it written all in third person, like:
'Before a word is said, Shari will walk around Michael three times. Michael will then walk around Shari three times, and the two together will then complete a seventh circuit, symbolizing the seven days of creation and the sanctity of marriage. Just as in the creation story told in Genesis where the world was built in seven days, Shari and Michael are figuratively building the walls of the their new world together. The number seven also symbolizes the wholeness and completeness that they cannot attain separately. Though, traditionally, a bride would walk only around the groom, by walking around each other, Shari and Michael can take an equal role in the ritual, while still following the traditions of the generations before us.'
Mike wants it written as a mix, because he wants it to say that 'we' are doing things but obviously it needs to distinguish from when I am doing things and when he is, like this (I put the changes in caps):
'Before a word is said, Shari will walk around Michael three times. Michael will then walk around Shari three times, and the two together will then complete a seventh circuit, symbolizing the seven days of creation and the sanctity of marriage. Just as in the creation story told in Genesis where the world was built in seven days, WE are figuratively building the walls of the their new world together. The number seven also symbolizes the wholeness and completeness that they cannot attain separately. Though, traditionally, a bride would walk only around the groom, by walking around each other, we can take an equal role in the ritual, while still following the traditions of the generations before us.'
To me this is weird and irks the grammar zealot in me.
What do you guys think?
'Before a word is said, Shari will walk around Michael three times. Michael will then walk around Shari three times, and the two together will then complete a seventh circuit, symbolizing the seven days of creation and the sanctity of marriage. Just as in the creation story told in Genesis where the world was built in seven days, Shari and Michael are figuratively building the walls of the their new world together. The number seven also symbolizes the wholeness and completeness that they cannot attain separately. Though, traditionally, a bride would walk only around the groom, by walking around each other, Shari and Michael can take an equal role in the ritual, while still following the traditions of the generations before us.'
Mike wants it written as a mix, because he wants it to say that 'we' are doing things but obviously it needs to distinguish from when I am doing things and when he is, like this (I put the changes in caps):
'Before a word is said, Shari will walk around Michael three times. Michael will then walk around Shari three times, and the two together will then complete a seventh circuit, symbolizing the seven days of creation and the sanctity of marriage. Just as in the creation story told in Genesis where the world was built in seven days, WE are figuratively building the walls of the their new world together. The number seven also symbolizes the wholeness and completeness that they cannot attain separately. Though, traditionally, a bride would walk only around the groom, by walking around each other, we can take an equal role in the ritual, while still following the traditions of the generations before us.'
To me this is weird and irks the grammar zealot in me.
What do you guys think?
