Guest List and In-Laws
I'm trying to get my guest list together, but it's getting really complicated.
Originally my in-laws were going to give us money for the wedding, so i was going to have them give me a list and we'd cut it down as needed, whatever.
But I don't want to do that anymore..originally they promised us at least what his sister's wedding cost, and a loan for the rest.
then his sister cancelled her wedding, and they were saying it was only going to cost $10K anyway (yeah right!)
Then they had to loan FH money while he was unemployed, so now they're saying bc of that they can't give us money for the wedding. (even though they had initially promised us the wedding money AFTER the loan occured) First it was 'Well $5 or 10K is no problem' which i thought was ridiculously low, and now it's 'Well if you need 5 or 600 because you can't afford something we can do that'
They HAVE the money, and they know my family can't pay for the wedding (in fact I support my mom partially). I'm just so angry with them about the run around they're giving us I only want to invite the bare minimum of just close family from that side.
They have said 'well you have to invite these people and we'll pay for the extra people' but I want them to understand that that's not how it works. Paying for their extra people isn't going to help us with the wedding costs, in fact it will add more in terms of invitations, favors, centerpieces, etc.
I'm just so frustrated and angry with them. I know they have no obligation to pay for our wedding, but they started by saying they would and they keep coming up with excuses not to. You would think they'd have MORE money since FSIL cancelled her black tie affair and had a 25 person wedding at a restaurant (for which they saved a lot since *I* was the photographer),
The only thing I can think of to say to them is that they don't have a say in who is invited. Another tactic was that I figured maybe we could give them a list of things to ask them to pay for, like the rabbi and all of the jewish ceremony accessories (we're interfaith), the rehearsal dinner (since it's common for the groom's family to pay for that), etc.
My Fh had a $30K Bar Mitzvah and now they're trying to tell me we're spending too much on a wedding and we don't need a big one... it's insulting.
Originally my in-laws were going to give us money for the wedding, so i was going to have them give me a list and we'd cut it down as needed, whatever.
But I don't want to do that anymore..originally they promised us at least what his sister's wedding cost, and a loan for the rest.
then his sister cancelled her wedding, and they were saying it was only going to cost $10K anyway (yeah right!)
Then they had to loan FH money while he was unemployed, so now they're saying bc of that they can't give us money for the wedding. (even though they had initially promised us the wedding money AFTER the loan occured) First it was 'Well $5 or 10K is no problem' which i thought was ridiculously low, and now it's 'Well if you need 5 or 600 because you can't afford something we can do that'
They HAVE the money, and they know my family can't pay for the wedding (in fact I support my mom partially). I'm just so angry with them about the run around they're giving us I only want to invite the bare minimum of just close family from that side.
They have said 'well you have to invite these people and we'll pay for the extra people' but I want them to understand that that's not how it works. Paying for their extra people isn't going to help us with the wedding costs, in fact it will add more in terms of invitations, favors, centerpieces, etc.
I'm just so frustrated and angry with them. I know they have no obligation to pay for our wedding, but they started by saying they would and they keep coming up with excuses not to. You would think they'd have MORE money since FSIL cancelled her black tie affair and had a 25 person wedding at a restaurant (for which they saved a lot since *I* was the photographer),
The only thing I can think of to say to them is that they don't have a say in who is invited. Another tactic was that I figured maybe we could give them a list of things to ask them to pay for, like the rabbi and all of the jewish ceremony accessories (we're interfaith), the rehearsal dinner (since it's common for the groom's family to pay for that), etc.
My Fh had a $30K Bar Mitzvah and now they're trying to tell me we're spending too much on a wedding and we don't need a big one... it's insulting.
