Guest List Confusion

kara10152006 Posted: Jan 12, 2006 07:48 AM

Guest List Confusion

When we first started planning we left 5 (& guest) spots for each of us to include co-workers (5 for me 5 for him). Since planning began last year I've been promoted at work and I have a staff of 11 people. I also have 4 bosses. All together (& guests included) my co-workers alone would add up to 30 guests if I were to invite them all. My MOH says I should either invite all of them or invite none of them. This is a fair idea but there are 3 co-workers who I am particularly close with and I want them to be there. If I invited the 3 of them and someone else found out their feelings would be hurt. This is so frustrating! What would all of you do?

glinda_goodwitch Posted: Jan 12, 2006 07:57 AM

Re: Guest List Confusion

That's a tough one. But I said invite all 30 because what are the chances that all of them would come? It's likely that your gesture will be appreciated (good for work relations) but that most people in your workplacewho aren't close to you won't attend. I could be wrong, but I think given the situation, that is what I would do.

missgwife Posted: Jan 12, 2006 08:06 AM

Re: Guest List Confusion

I'm inviting only my closest co-workers.

lrs2005 Posted: Jan 12, 2006 08:15 AM

Re: Guest List Confusion

I would invite your immediate supervisors and your 3 close friends plus dates and leave it at that. However, if there are only 15 people in your office (you said there would be 30 people i.e. 15 plus guest), then I would invite all of them because it would be aquard to do otherwise.

AlliNMatt06 Posted: Jan 12, 2006 08:23 AM

Re: Guest List Confusion

I think you should talk to the 3 coworkers and ask them there opinions on the situation. Tell them you would love for them to come, but you don't have the money for the whole office to come. Tell them you didn't think it was fair to only ivite 3 people and that others feelings would be hurt. I am sure they will understand.

So my suggestion is don't invite anyone.

I am in the same situation and it is stressing me out. I just started a new job 6 months ago and I don't know who to invite. The list is getting to big. It is so frustrating

werock0709 Posted: Jan 12, 2006 08:27 AM

Re: Guest List Confusion

This is hard but, but I said to not invite anyone. I would hate to work in an office everyday, and know there will possibly be hard feelings because you invited some and not the others. Thats just my opinon

nygirl77 Posted: Jan 12, 2006 10:47 AM

Re: Guest List Confusion

I didn't post a vote, but I do have a comment. I just started working at my current job 6 weeks ago - I'm not sure if I will invite anyone from this office. I work for the VP of my department - so there are A LOT of others in the office. I'm not that friendly with anyone yet. And the only people I would think to invite are my boss and another director who has sort of been my buddy since I started, showing me the ropes.

Mrs.A2006 Posted: Jan 12, 2006 10:58 AM

Re: Guest List Confusion

Posted by glinda_goodwitch

That's a tough one. But I said invite all 30 because what are the chances that all of them would come? It's likely that your gesture will be appreciated (good for work relations) but that most people in your workplacewho aren't close to you won't attend. I could be wrong, but I think given the situation, that is what I would do.

I completely agree

Tiggeruth Posted: Jan 12, 2006 12:19 PM

Re: Guest List Confusion

I am inviting a lot of people from work, but probably not everyone will come...

I'd say take your chances and invite people, you dont want to be excluding people and making them feel bad or having people lie about not attending your wedding. That would be an akward position to put your 3 close co-workers in.

waterspout4 Posted: Jan 12, 2006 12:23 PM

Re: Guest List Confusion

I'm only inviting a few people from my job. I work in an office with about 11 people. I'm inviting 4. Since we're 24/7 office, someone has to work anyway.

Mrs. dleeny Posted: Jan 12, 2006 12:25 PM

Re: Guest List Confusion

I have been on the receiving end of both scenarios... I have been a co-worker that was left off the guest list and for another wedding I was one of the few from work invited.

honestly, the one I was left out of didn't bother me in the least. any mature sensible person knows weddings are so expensive and there has to be a line drawn at some point.

I voted to invite the 3 you're closest with.

EJSD2006 Posted: Jan 12, 2006 12:27 PM

Re: Guest List Confusion

I'm in the same situation and my co-workers list will be about 30 also. I'm going to invite them all because I'm close with all of them and since I haven't gone over my minimum yet it doesn't hurt.

BernandRob Posted: Jan 12, 2006 12:30 PM

Re: Guest List Confusion

Though inviting 30 more people seems like no big deal, you need to make sure you can afford 30 more people if the all show up will it send you budget off the charts, or is it no big deal? If it is no big deal financially I say invite them all. If it is a problem financially invite just your bosses.

agentangel Posted: Jan 12, 2006 12:34 PM

Re: Guest List Confusion

Posted by dleeny

I have been on the receiving end of both scenarios... I have been a co-worker that was left off the guest list and for another wedding I was one of the few from work invited.

honestly, the one I was left out of didn't bother me in the least. any mature sensible person knows weddings are so expensive and there has to be a line drawn at some point.

I voted to invite the 3 you're closest with.

I agree. A mature sensible person understands the cost of weddings and the delicate nature of guests lists. If you are at a comfort level in your work relationships that you would consider inviting them to your wedding, you should be able to explain to them the reasons why you cannot. I know it's tough but esp now that you're in this managerial role, you should be able to draw lines and set priorities. If you want those 3 people there, invite them. Explain to them why and ask them to be discreet. Remember, inviting 30 people, means potentially paying for 60. That's a huge investment to make to prevent a few moments of awkwardness.

Blu-ize Posted: Jan 12, 2006 12:43 PM

Re: Guest List Confusion

Posted by agentangel

Posted by dleeny

I have been on the receiving end of both scenarios... I have been a co-worker that was left off the guest list and for another wedding I was one of the few from work invited.

honestly, the one I was left out of didn't bother me in the least. any mature sensible person knows weddings are so expensive and there has to be a line drawn at some point.

I voted to invite the 3 you're closest with.

I agree. A mature sensible person understands the cost of weddings and the delicate nature of guests lists. If you are at a comfort level in your work relationships that you would consider inviting them to your wedding, you should be able to explain to them the reasons why you cannot. I know it's tough but esp now that you're in this managerial role, you should be able to draw lines and set priorities. If you want those 3 people there, invite them. Explain to them why and ask them to be discreet. Remember, inviting 30 people, means potentially paying for 60. That's a huge investment to make to prevent a few moments of awkwardness.

I agree..

roxyspark Posted: Jan 12, 2006 12:48 PM

Re: Guest List Confusion

I would invite co-workers that have hung out with you and FI outside of work.
I know it is difficult since you spend so much of your day with these people. However if you don't seee them socially, then they shouldn't be invited.
JMO.

sarahthegreat Posted: Jan 12, 2006 12:52 PM

Re: Guest List Confusion

i work in a large dept. i don't have people under me, but i have several people over me. i'm only inviting 5 of my closet co-workers.

i would not invite all 30 and i can't imagine they all expect to be invited. invite those closet to you and leave it at that