Okay heres the shortened version. I have an Uncle (my aunt passed away like maybe 6 yrs ago) in Minnesota, and 4 cousins (their kids) who also live in Minnesota. They are all older and married with kids. I havent seen my cousins since I dont know when. I was talking to my mom over the weekend (we were at my grandmas for her bday) and my aunt (always in everyones business) had asked if I was inviting the 'Minnesota' crew. I said, no, Im just inviting Uncle JErry. She goes off on how they are my cousins blha blah blah...so I said I havent seem them in God knows how long.......So I dont want to invite people that dont really know me that havent seen me in so many years they probably will have to be introduced to me. So she went on and on all ngith about how Im being rude by not inviting them. What would you guys do? My mom said not to invite the cousins, just my Uncle (he most likely wont come anyways). i just dont want to keep hearing my aunt go on and on about this.
mycrayon1
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Re: Guest list issue...What should I do
I'm with your mom. I have a simliar situation, my cousin has kids whom I've never met a new G/F I'm only inviting the cousin.
Kara and Todd
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Re: Guest list issue...What should I do
You can always ask if she'd like to pay for them.
I'm not inviting any of the cousins on my dad's side of the family - we NEVER see them, and I don't know them.
I wouldn't listen to your aunt. Have your mother or father speak to your aunt about saying things like that if she continues. Quite frankly, it is none of her business who you choose to invite.
Kara and Todd
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Re: Guest list issue...What should I do
And, by the way... it sounds as if being polite about may not work. This might be a time where someone just says (the next time she brings it up), 'Quite frankly, I don't see why we are discussing this. My guest list is none of your business - This is MY wedding. The conversation is over - I do not have to justify my guest list to you. Please stop bringing it up!'
libby2595
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Re: Guest list issue...What should I do
i had the same issue with MY MOTHER.
she wanted me to invite people who haven't invited me or my son to bday parties, weddings or anything else. she said that she would look bad if i didn't. i told her no. that was that.
she tried to 'get even with me' by saying that she wasn't coming to my bridal shower. i didn't flinch.
she came to my shower... by that point, i really didn't care.
anyway.... the long and the short of it: listen to your mother!!
don't invited the 'crew'.
mho
MJDoc12
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Re: Guest list issue...What should I do
are we related??
my dad FLIPPED OUT when i told him and my mom that if they wanted me to send invites to my cousins (they are only in the bronx...BUT i've seen them maybe 3-4x in my life...i just don't KNOW them)...then they can pay for them, cause i would normally NOT invite them.
he told me how disrespectful i was, cause they are FAMILY and family comes first....and even said 'you're inviting all your FRIENDS who i don't know' i had to throw it in his face 'um, this is OUR wedding, not YOURS. we can invite saddam--fuking--hussein if we want cause YOU'RE NOT PAYING!'
go with your original plan and don't let them try and guilt you or bully you!!!
ama1771
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Re: Guest list issue...What should I do
it's your wedding, you decide who you want to invite
charisma
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Re: Guest list issue...What should I do
NO WAY ITS YOUR WEDDING YOU INVITE WHO YOU WANT...(tell your aunt i said stay out of peoples bisness)...i have that same issue i have 1st cousins who ae not invited cause there just negative, hypocritcal people and i dont like haning around them so i dont so why would i even consider inviting them..
DandS
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Re: Guest list issue...What should I do
I have to say I was kind of in the same situation. I have 3 cousins on my dad's side of the family that I have not seen in at least 6 years. And that was only because one of them got married and we went to her wedding. And then before that we have not seen them in at least 10 years (I was maybe 11 or 12 when I saw them before my cousins wedding). I was not sure what to do, and ultimately my parents said it was up to me. But I did decide to invite them knowing that they were going to say no except for the one who's wedding I went to (she at least emails us every once in awhile and sends a Christmas card every year to try and keep in touch), and sure enough I was right. The other 2 said no, and the 1 said yes.
I would say, you do whatever you want! Don't listen to your aunt (unless she is going to pay for them)!!!!! If you and your mother both agree to not invite the cousins, then I would not invite them.
October Bliss
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Re: Guest list issue...What should I do
I had the same issue with a crew from Ohio. I didn't invite them.
korndoggie
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Re: Guest list issue...What should I do
Slightly different situation...
My dad is 1 of 12 and is the 2nd youngest. I have cousins who I don't know and wouldn't know if they walked up to me on the street and smacked me in the head. I am not inviting them. On my dad's side I am inviting all my Aunts and Uncles but hardly any cousins. FH and I are paying for it ourselves and my dad totally understands.
Although, I did have an uncle (dad's brother) who didn't attend my cousin's wedding this summer because his kids weren't invited to the wedding. I have news for them, they aren't invited to mine either. Let's see if my uncle decides he wants to come to mine...
