guest list woes- help- repost from 05

SFP0214 Posted: Sep 20, 2004 05:35 PM

guest list woes- help- repost from 05

Today my fh emailed his grandpa for addresses of the OOT guest that live by him in Missouri. Well the email came back with the family we asked for plus 7 of thier friends that they want invited. We are paying for most of this ourselves and we don't even know these people. We told his dad and my mom who are contributing financialy to invite a few people each and they did. We didn't ask his mom to invite anyone because she is kind of well..mentally ill and has no friends. (sorry to be blunt but she wouldn't have anyone to invite) These grandparents are his mom's parents. Should we just included these extra people as his mom's guest list, ask his mother to invite people and if any match the grandparents invite list.. invite them, Tell his grandparents they cant invite them, or suck it up and pay almost 800 for these extra people?

FYI; Fh doesn't think they will come bc they are old and wants to send a courtesy invite but I think that if they weren't going to show that his grandma would have said that.... FH assumes /thinks a lot and he is ALWAYS wrong. Just kidding--sort of.

Marisa&Brian Posted: Sep 20, 2004 05:37 PM

Re: guest list woes- help- repost from 05

If neither you or your FH has ever met these people - Don't invite them........They're not long lost family, they're his grandparent's friends.

TracyInQueens Posted: Sep 20, 2004 05:38 PM

Re: guest list woes- help- repost from 05

If your FH thinks they won't come, I would not worry. I had a similar situation with my FH's family, who is from Wisconsin. His mom gave me lots of names, people FH has not seen in YEARS but we figured they won't come, and they aren't! (Though I am going to squeak by on my minimum, so it would have been ok if some came!)

SFP0214 Posted: Sep 20, 2004 05:41 PM

Re: guest list woes- help- repost from 05

Fh thinks they won't come bc he has a really hard time saying anything negative or whatever to his family and he doesn't want me mad. He only said they probably won't come after I went all Bridezilla on him and I think he really has no idea if they will come are not. . He has never had the type of relationship with them where he can say anything beyond the nicey nice things that are going on in his life.

MsKitty1274 Posted: Sep 20, 2004 05:41 PM

Re: guest list woes- help- repost from 05

This is a tough one. I would say invite them. But it all depends on a few things. 1- do you have the extra invites? 2-if they do come, would they go over your expected # or help make the minimum?

I am inviting all my OOT family and friends. My FH and I are paying for the whole wedding. We are letting our parents invite whatever friends they want. To me, it's a compliment, they are proud of your/our getting married.

SFP0214 Posted: Sep 20, 2004 05:43 PM

Re: guest list woes- help- repost from 05

It is kind of close as to whether or not they would be extra or help make the minimum. It depends on who comes. we haven't ordered invites yet.

bellepoque Posted: Sep 20, 2004 06:10 PM

Re: guest list woes- help- repost from 05

We had a lot of out of town guests that we had to invite that were DH's father's friends--about six extra couples. He didn't tell us about this until two weeks before the invitations were going out and we had already finalized our guest list. In the end none of these couples were able to come--they all lived in MO and TN. I found that the majority of the people that we invited as a courtesy--parents' friend and relatives who maybe we had met once in our lives, chose not to come to the wedding. I would just invite them. My experience was that we invited more people than was the maximum number and we didn't make our minimum.

As stated above, it does sound like the grandparents are very proud of the two of you.

AFB10304 Posted: Sep 20, 2004 06:12 PM

Re: guest list woes- help- repost from 05

i wouldn't invite them without saying SOMETHING to the grandparents

SFP0214 Posted: Sep 20, 2004 06:23 PM

Re: guest list woes- help- repost from 05

Do you think it would be okay to ask the grandparents if they expect them to come or if it is just a courtesy invite?? Or is this rude? It's just in my family there is not courtesy invite... if you are invited it is bc we expect you to come. I feel like the courtesy invite is asking for gifts from people you know won't come. Plus the invites cost money!!!!!!