Disclaimer...I had a feer beers before writing it....
I want to bash my parents in the head....ok maybe that was a little harsh...but they are KILLING ME when it comes to this guest list! My FH and I are paying for the wedding...which i thought would come with the benefit of having complete control of the guest list...well i was wrong. I asked my mom to make me a list of our side, since she knows our side best and I thought would be a good idea...again I was wrong. She gives me a list of 97 people, and i'll be honest, most of the people should be invited. When i questioned 14 people tonight at dinner...my father flipped. According to him, its a 'matter or respect' to invite certain people. Mind you these people are the parents of others who are invited...and i don;t even know! Mr So and sos mother HAS to be invited, and then throw in his brother and sister with their significant others....all out of respect. You have to be kidding me! There are people on this list I don't even know, that HAVE to be invited... out of 'respect'. I am so livid! I had to take off people from my friends list for this cr@p! I basiaclly told my parents NO to 14 people, and now its world war III. I'm beside myself and just insanly pissed off.
I should have just eloped! I knew i was going to have a big wedding...but its just becoming crazy!
Kristin31613
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Guest list....hate my parents
Ugh. I know its stressful now but im sure it will work out. Hang in there!
MommaMia
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Guest list....hate my parents
Tell them this is your wedding and your paying. If they feel those people should be invited have them pay for those people. Then add your people back on the list!!
rknieto
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Guest list....hate my parents
I totally know how you feel. I'm in the same boat!!! It sucks.
MarryTheNight24
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Guest list....hate my parents
I'm going through the same thing. Sending out my save the dates recently started sooooo much drama. My parents are inviting people I don't know. They're paying for the wedding so its hard for me to tell them no.
JojoBride
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Re: Guest list....hate my parents
Sweetheart I feel your pain...my head hurts every time I think of that guest list...
My mother was just telling me this morning to try to cut people off the list then a few minutes later tells me she needs to invite so and so...
I kinda don't have a say cuz I'm not paying for the venue BUT...if having these strangers at your wedding is costing you money out of your pocket then sweetie you need to tell your parents THEY can pay for them or those people you don't know ARE NOT COMING...bottom line.
Good luck!
crisy211
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Guest list....hate my parents
FH and I are paying most of the wedding but my parents offered to pay for the plates of their guests...would your parents maybe consider that?
scottsbride
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Guest list....hate my parents
Awwwww Im sorry you are going though all of this. I would be honest with your parents and just tell we cant afford it but you are more than welcome to pay for those guests. If you dont have the money you just dont have it. As parents they should understand that you want to try to save for your future.
db276952
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Guest list....hate my parents
No pay no say! That's what I've been telling them. I've let them suggest invitees but me and FH have final say. I think respect works both ways - did these distant relatives respect you enough to send you a congrats on your engagement card or reached out to you in anyway? If so, I would consider inviting them. If not, then it's your choice.
lauren1802
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Re: Guest list....hate my parents
Posted by MarryTheNight24
I'm going through the same thing. Sending out my save the dates recently started sooooo much drama. My parents are inviting people I don't know. They're paying for the wedding so its hard for me to tell them no.
you sent your STDs already? I am trying to this month... i havent started gathering addresses yet tho!
MarryTheNight24
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Re: Guest list....hate my parents
Posted by lauren1802
Posted by MarryTheNight24
I'm going through the same thing. Sending out my save the dates recently started sooooo much drama. My parents are inviting people I don't know. They're paying for the wedding so its hard for me to tell them no.
you sent your STDs already? I am trying to this month... i havent started gathering addresses yet tho!
don't freak out over that. I just sent them like 2 weeks ago. I did it because I was SO SICK of EVERYONE asking when the wedding was. People were always asking and saying things like 'ohhh ok good bc we know someone getting married the week before'. I wanted to make sure everyone was clear on when it was. I know i did it SUPER early.
jassy119
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Guest list....hate my parents
I'd say u know what mom n dad.. I could care less about 'respect' to ppl I do not know. Unless YOU want to pay for these ppl they are not on the list! PERIOD!! I really do not understand parent feeling like its thr wedding or thinking its just a reg ol party and u can invite everyone! If they were paying.. heyyy invite whoeva the hell u want but no way shld they get a say if they aren't contributing any $$.. esp if u have to cut off ppl that u actually want thr.. hellz to the no!! Lol
MarryTheNight24
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Guest list....hate my parents
i've gone over my guest list soooo much lately that I'm sick of discussing it with my parents. Pretty much I told my parents that if they are inviting more of their friends then I get to invite whoever else I want even if that means a whole new table of people. Like I said, they're paying for it but I want to make it clear that I let my parents be involved with the wedding. My mom always said she was going to just write me a check and let me do whatever on my own.
OH and the other issue lately is PEOPLE INVITING THEMSELVES TO THE WEDDING. My 20 year old cousin in PA decided to get engaged also and they're inviting everyone on planet earth to their wedding. My mom's cousin said to my grandmother that they received her STD and they don't think they will go to hers and instead attend mine. EXCEPT THEY WEREN'T ON THE GUEST LIST!!!!!
lauren1802
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Guest list....hate my parents
im annoyed by people who say 'i better be invited'. really!!!
BellaRegina
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Guest list....hate my parents
Thank you everyone! I'm a little more calmed down, but still quite ticked off. Yes, the budget comes into play when my family wants to invite everyone...but even more importantly...the hall only holds 400 people and before i made cuts to their list, the total guest list was 412 (plus 21 kids under 10 years old)! I also can't even bring up the issue of money with my parents...its always 'but you know were going to be helping you'...*** does that mean!? They are not paying for the wedding, and yes they may give a nice gift...but they seriously have no idea what this wedding is costing me. Having them pay for the people they want I dont think would work...because its not really the money at this point. I do not want a 400 person wedding and the hall seems cramped, know what i mean.
BellaRegina
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Guest list....hate my parents
Oh and i know what you mean about self-inviters. There are three people my mom added to the list becuase one of them said 'oh i can't wait for the wedding'. Mind you that person is the mother of someone else invited, and then the other two are the mother and father of someone else invited so it just spiried out of control. I vetoed those real quick.
BellaRegina
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Re: Guest list....hate my parents
Posted by db276952
No pay no say! That's what I've been telling them. I've let them suggest invitees but me and FH have final say. I think respect works both ways - did these distant relatives respect you enough to send you a congrats on your engagement card or reached out to you in anyway? If so, I would consider inviting them. If not, then it's your choice.
AMEN!!!! My father does not realize this is MY wedding and some of the people on the guest list probably do not even know i'm engaged. None of the people that I want to cut from their list ever congratulated me, no card no phone call. Why the hell am I inviting them!?!?
Let my dad get pissed off, i'm gone with this cr@p.
stormstryker
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Guest list....hate my parents
oh... boy do i ever know what you mean!!!!!! We finally got my parents to cut back on people but they INSIST on my cousins girlfriend... except we put a blanket rule that significant others are not invited unless there is a ring or they been living together (or even just together) longer than 3 years! His girlfriend does not fit into those qualifications, yet they INSIST she be invited and is on their list, so they are putting their feet down. Well OUR FEET ARE DOWN AND NO!
katie2012
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Re: Guest list....hate my parents
i totally feel your pain. its been drama with my fam and FH fam as well. My mom wants me to invite some distant relatives whom i havent seem in like 15 years and they live in Jersey. I figure they wont come anyhow so why bother send them an invite. I told my mom call to invite them and see if they will even come since the wedding is out in LI...lol
misserikalynn
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Re: Guest list....hate my parents
you HAVE to set your parents straight. what are they going to do not come? don't regret the money you're going to spend you only need to make you and your FH happy.
