Guest List...sad & long VENT (hugs anyone?)

i gotta say ladies, i've heard it from friends and such that got married already, and it's sooooooo true:

'People who you think will say NO to your wedding, will respond yes...and some ppl that you are just sure will say YES and not miss it for the world...will say NO.'

i'm kind of bummed right now.
a) today was our RSVP date, and i'm still missing about 25-30 RSVPs, which means 50-60 ppl. we only got TWO back today, and they were ppl who had already verbally told me they were coming

b) i just found out that some friends of ours, ppl that i've known for years....and who i was SURE would be at our wedding....are probably going to vacation in florida, during the time of our wedding. it's an annual trip they take sometime in feb., and i guess this time around the family (it's 2 cousins and their significant others) have scheduled the trip at the end of february.

i am NOT the kind of bride that thinks her wedding is the be-all-end-all of things...i do realize that our friends & family have lives....so i can't be too angry about the situation. BUT i can be hurt. i feel like telling them 'Hey, Florida will ALWAYS be there, but FH and i are only marrying once!' i guess it hurts cause they've been there thru the planning and such for the past 2 yrs....i mean we were hanging out with our 'crew' the nite before FH proposed....and he was telling them all about it and wishing him good luck before we left. (i found out about all that later on).

they are important to me, and now i feel like i'm not as important to them. so i'm really bummed that they are not going to be there. but i know i can't really say too much about it, cause really....they are adults and do what they want.

i know my wedding will still be great cause the ppl who want to be there will come...but it still sux a little that some ppl have been saying no lately, that i just thought wouldn't miss it for anything.

First BIG
I don't blame you at all and I am sure we would all feel the same way if we were in your shoes. Maybe talk to one of them and just tell them how you feel, can't hurt. I know they are adults, but sometimes adults need a good kick in the azz also.

The RSVP thing, I heard can be a nightmare and everyone says you have to chase people down. It just ***** and it takes 2 seconds, but if it makes you feel any better, it obviously is more common then we all realize.

I hope it works out for you and you are correct, in the end, you are marrying the man of your dreams and your family and friends who are there will mean the world to you both.

Ugh, that stinks!!! I'm sorry babe. Did you send out STD's? Didn't they know of the date as soon as you picked one? Here are some hugs

That su&%s! I don't blame you for feeling hurt. I could see if someone got sick last minute, or something happened, but really-a vacation. I would be a hurt too. I understand people's priorities are different, but I would change the date of the vacation and go to your wedding-I wouldn't worry too much about it. Like you said, it will be wonderful because of the people that ARE there.

My response date was 10 days ago and I am still missing 11 responses which means 22 people. Surprise surprise they are all FH side. When i told his mom to call them she did, and the answers I got from her amazed me......ummm count that one maybe, ummm make that one a probably. Do they realize we pay for these people if we coint them?

I finally called her today and was like I need definate answers tomorrow or they are not welcome and there will be no seats for them. She didnt like that. Thank goodness FH agrees with me. But give me a break you send out a save the date almost a year earlier, then an invitation months before and they cant make up their minds if they can make it or not?!

I have learned on thing from wedding planning. People only care about themselves!

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Posted by EverlovingEv

Ugh, that stinks!!! I'm sorry babe. Did you send out STD's? Didn't they know of the date as soon as you picked one? Here are some hugs

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yeah we sent STD's and they've known for nearly 2 yrs. about our wedding date. what it is is this:

C. & R. are cousins, and every year their parents book like 2 wks in a house to Florida...it's an annual thing. C & R bring their BF/GFs along with them each year. C & R and their SO's are kind of part of our little 'crew' that I've known for a decade. It turns out that the rental was made by C's parents, and it was done w/o their consent. (so technically i understand that they didn't know that the trip would be booked at that time)...BUT i guess i was hoping that maybe they would only go for a certain period of time to FL and be back in time for the wedding. but i guess they either don't or can't do it that way....and they do this vacation every year....can't you cut it short just this ONCE???

ugh--i hate all of this....seriously....can i just be fuking MARRIED already!?

Oh I'm sorry sweetie. I just don't understand why you would have to track people down if you have an RSVP date. That's the whole point of the darn card!!!!

You might want to give it some more time though, I find that some people wait until the last minute to send the cards. Wait until the weekend and take it from there.

You can always try calling and following up with the people that have not responded. Sometimes people think they sent out a response card when they actually didn't, and sometimes people need a gentle reminder. It would be best if you called and get a defenite 'yes' or 'no' to ease your mind. I've heard horror stories of brides receiving rsvps 2 days before the wedding.

Remember even though everyone you invited wil not be there you will still have a beautiful day!

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Posted by MJDoc12

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Posted by EverlovingEv

Ugh, that stinks!!! I'm sorry babe. Did you send out STD's? Didn't they know of the date as soon as you picked one? Here are some hugs

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yeah we sent STD's and they've known for nearly 2 yrs. about our wedding date. what it is is this:

C. & R. are cousins, and every year their parents book like 2 wks in a house to Florida...it's an annual thing. C & R bring their BF/GFs along with them each year. C & R and their SO's are kind of part of our little 'crew' that I've known for a decade. It turns out that the rental was made by C's parents, and it was done w/o their consent. (so technically i understand that they didn't know that the trip would be booked at that time)...BUT i guess i was hoping that maybe they would only go for a certain period of time to FL and be back in time for the wedding. but i guess they either don't or can't do it that way....and they do this vacation every year....can't you cut it short just this ONCE???

ugh--i hate all of this....seriously....can i just be fuking MARRIED already!?

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Exactly what I was thinking. If you sent out STDs they had plenty of time to arraging a diff. date for their vacation. I am sorry that this is happening....

Im sorry that you are let down, it stinks to want certain people there and be sure that they are coming and find out that they arent. Dont forget-you will be surrounded by people who love you, and even those that cant be there will be thinking of you on your day and wishing and hoping for the best day you could ever have.

Chin up doll!

People s uck hard boiled eggs.

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Posted by nikki4483

I have learned on thing from wedding planning. People only care about themselves!

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So true!
to all of you. It's about you and FH and the most important people in your life will be there no matter what.

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Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

People s uck hard boiled eggs.

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hehe thanks for making me laugh.

as for the oustanding RSVPs---i totally expected it would happen. most of it is allll my parents guests. which is exactly why i didn't want to invite these ghetto fabulous fuks who are rude and only go to the mailbox on the 1st of the month to get their gov't check. they wouldn't understand etiquette if it sat down on their stupid faces.

so those phone calls and follow ups will be done by my parents. cause i didn't want to invite those ppl anyway. my invite count was: 161--we guaranteed 100 at my hall...cause that's about all we thought we'd invite....the only 50-60 ppl were alllll my folks' invites....and look what happens...i'm waiting for 50-60 ppl to respond! coincidence...i think NOT!!!

im sorry this happening to you...some people are just really hard to understand and its not even worth thinking about who WONT be there b/c theyll miss all the fun. Concentrate on yourself and those excited to attend

people are just PEOPLE dont let them get to you...its the most beautiful day of your life! and the ones who truly WANT to be there with you and share the beauty and joy will make it somehow! ...
sorry, hope u feel better

What a stinky situation- I am so sorry. I don't get people sometimes.

Im sorry ur going through this hunny. I knwo that at some point we will all have some type of dissapointment for the NO responses we will get.

with ur specififc issue i think that the 2 freinds/ cousins (since they are part of ur crew) are probbly old enough to come back form FL to attend ur wedding if they really made the effort.
Im sorry babe, I wish things could be different for you.. but u know ur wedding is gonan rock anyway!

I heart you.

I agree with you 100%. anyone would feel hurt, I mean come on.....you cant plan the trip some other time or go later???
This is a wedding and it only happens once, so why wouldnt they want to be there..........

try to cheer up.....your having this wedding for you and your FH and thats all that matters!!!!