Guest woes - long

Please don't quote me, I'll probably delete later.

So - I have one set of cousins that my family is not close with. They live in a very country section of Virginia, and we all just kind of stopped talking years back (they kept getting evicted from their house so we rarely have contact information)

Of COURSE, I am inviting my cousins to my wedding, even though they didn't even RSVP to my sister's wedding When you think of like the people on 'redneck weddings' the tv show - this is my family.

My cousin calls my grandma last night and tells her that they all (aunt, her husband, and my 2 cousins and their SOs) plan on coming to my wedding. Which is fine. . .my cousin (who is 21 and has 2 kids under 3) informs my grandmother that she plans on bringing the babies. My grandmother tactfully tries to tell her that I'm not having kids at my wedding, other than my flower girl. My cousin responds back that she is 'sure I would rather her be there with the kids, than not come at all' and that my grandma shouldn't worry about it. She then proceeds to tell my grandma she plans on wearing khakis and a nice top and asks if that is ok.

UGH, I'm a horrible person but a small part of me just does not want to deal with this

Thanks for listening

Oh boy. You are in a tough spot.

this is your wedding if you dont want the kids there you have every right to say so

How do I tell my cousin I'd rather her not come if she's going to bring her kids and show up in khakis and a clubbing shirt lol.

I'm not close with them, or maybe I would feel differently.

Its almost like I'm inviting them because I HAVE to

I'm so upset over it.

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Posted by yelley77

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LOL - Did you take that picture off my myspace?

That was from her shotgun wedding!

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Posted by MrsHtobe

How do I tell my cousin I'd rather her not come if she's going to bring her kids and show up in khakis and a clubbing shirt lol.

I'm not close with them, or maybe I would feel differently.

Its almost like I'm inviting them because I HAVE to

I'm so upset over it.

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You just have to tell her no kids. Can you help her find a sitter?

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Posted by Mici n KC



You just have to tell her no kids. Can you help her find a sitter?

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I probably could find her a sitter for the night. I doubt she can afford it though - maybe I should just hire a sitter for her to avoid any problems?

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Posted by MrsHtobe

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Posted by Mici n KC



You just have to tell her no kids. Can you help her find a sitter?

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I probably could find her a sitter for the night. I doubt she can afford it though - maybe I should just hire a sitter for her to avoid any problems?

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That sounds like a good idea--you can say it's for OOT kids, even though hers will be the only ones....

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Posted by MrsHtobe

How do I tell my cousin I'd rather her not come if she's going to bring her kids and show up in khakis and a clubbing shirt lol.

I'm not close with them, or maybe I would feel differently.

Its almost like I'm inviting them because I HAVE to

I'm so upset over it.

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I would call her and just be upfront...because you aren't that close you can be a little more forward in some ways.

I would just say 'I heard from grandma that you are planning to come to the wedding. That is great I'm looking forward to seeing you (white lie). I just wanted to let you know that we are not allowing children at our wedding..just children that our in our wedding party. I hope you understand and it doesn't change your mind about coming (white lie again). '

I would try to throw in there that your wedding is semi-formal...maybe by talking about the preparations and how you can't wait to see your girls in their beautiful gowns.

Coleen

I would very nicely call her and explain that if you were to allow her kids to come, you'd have to allow others' children, too, and that your room will just not hold that many children. While you love children and would like to have as many as possible at your wedding (whether it's true or not), you just aren't able to do so. And say that you hope she can still attend but understand if she cannot.

And, you can somewhere in there say that the dress for the wedding is semi-formal - pretend you didn't know what nshe told your grandma.

Do you happen to have an email address for her, so that you can do this via email instead of on the phone where it might get confrontational? Can you think of all the things she might say about the kids and dress and come up with responses in advance? I know we have all had to answer the kids / dress question before, so you may already have a ton of replies in your head.

I do think you should be the one to address this, as hard as it might be.

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Posted by bluekat16

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Posted by MrsHtobe

How do I tell my cousin I'd rather her not come if she's going to bring her kids and show up in khakis and a clubbing shirt lol.

I'm not close with them, or maybe I would feel differently.

Its almost like I'm inviting them because I HAVE to

I'm so upset over it.

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I would call her and just be upfront...because you aren't that close you can be a little more forward in some ways.

I would just say 'I heard from grandma that you are planning to come to the wedding. That is great I'm looking forward to seeing you (white lie). I just wanted to let you know that we are not allowing children at our wedding..just children that our in our wedding party. I hope you understand and it doesn't change your mind about coming (white lie again). '

I would try to throw in there that your wedding is semi-formal...maybe by talking about the preparations and how you can't wait to see your girls in their beautiful gowns.

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Wow, you took the words right out of my mouth!!!!!

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Posted by MrsHtobe

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Posted by yelley77

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LOL - Did you take that picture off my myspace?

That was from her shotgun wedding!

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i figured as much

i think what bluekat said sounds perfect....good luck - im sorry this is upsetting you - i hoping i dodge a simialir situation

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Posted by MrsHtobe

How do I tell my cousin I'd rather her not come if she's going to bring her kids and show up in khakis and a clubbing shirt lol.

I'm not close with them, or maybe I would feel differently.

Its almost like I'm inviting them because I HAVE to

I'm so upset over it.

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can you somehow put in the invitation, FORMAL affair and ADULTS only....or something to that effect...only put it in their invites.

Thanks girls

I don't think she has a computer, I wasn't kidding about the redneck thing lol.

I'll try calling her and being straightforward about it. Like bluekat said, just mention how excited I am about the girls gowns, etc, and then maybe I'll just mention to her that I'm hiring a babysitter for OOT guests that have children, so she won't even have to worry about who will watch the kids. . . that way it doesn't come across like I'm calling her to tell her she can't bring them, so much as I'm calling to tell her I took care of it. . .

Or I could make different invites for her family lol, that says adult reception and formal (thats funny Andrea, but not a bad idea hah!)

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by MrsHtobe

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Posted by yelley77

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LOL - Did you take that picture off my myspace?

That was from her shotgun wedding!

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i figured as much

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It's funny how she took what looks like a decent amount of time to do her hair -- from the neck down it's disaster, but her hair and makeup are pretty good considering .... it's like, one of these things doesn't belong ...

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Posted by JBoothIn2008

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by MrsHtobe

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Posted by yelley77

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LOL - Did you take that picture off my myspace?

That was from her shotgun wedding!

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i figured as much

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It's funny how she took what looks like a decent amount of time to do her hair -- from the neck down it's disaster, but her hair and makeup are pretty good considering .... it's like, one of these things doesn't belong ...

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the cigarette in hand with the baby belly says it all lol.

And whats on her chin

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Posted by MrsHtobe

Thanks girls

I don't think she has a computer, I wasn't kidding about the redneck thing lol.

I'll try calling her and being straightforward about it. Like bluekat said, just mention how excited I am about the girls gowns, etc, and then maybe I'll just mention to her that I'm hiring a babysitter for OOT guests that have children, so she won't even have to worry about who will watch the kids. . . that way it doesn't come across like I'm calling her to tell her she can't bring them, so much as I'm calling to tell her I took care of it. . .

Or I could make different invites for her family lol, that says adult reception and formal (thats funny Andrea, but not a bad idea hah!)

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GOOD IDEA about the OOT babysitter! Although this means she might actually come.

I am writing 'Evening Attire Requested' on my invites (proof should be here today!) to avoid the khakis thing. Mine is a daytime wedding and I am afraid that some people will think this means they can dress down. I don't want GOWNS but I am looking for cocktail dresses, etc - whatever you'd wear to an non-formal evening wedding.