So - I have one set of cousins that my family is not close with. They live in a very country section of Virginia, and we all just kind of stopped talking years back (they kept getting evicted from their house so we rarely have contact information)
Of COURSE, I am inviting my cousins to my wedding, even though they didn't even RSVP to my sister's wedding When you think of like the people on 'redneck weddings' the tv show - this is my family.
My cousin calls my grandma last night and tells her that they all (aunt, her husband, and my 2 cousins and their SOs) plan on coming to my wedding. Which is fine. . .my cousin (who is 21 and has 2 kids under 3) informs my grandmother that she plans on bringing the babies. My grandmother tactfully tries to tell her that I'm not having kids at my wedding, other than my flower girl. My cousin responds back that she is 'sure I would rather her be there with the kids, than not come at all' and that my grandma shouldn't worry about it. She then proceeds to tell my grandma she plans on wearing khakis and a nice top and asks if that is ok.
UGH, I'm a horrible person but a small part of me just does not want to deal with this
Thanks for listening
TrueLoveIn2008
Posted:
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Re: Guest woes - long
Posted by MrsHtobe
Posted by JBoothIn2008
Posted by yelley77
Posted by MrsHtobe
Posted by yelley77
LOL - Did you take that picture off my myspace?
That was from her shotgun wedding!
i figured as much
It's funny how she took what looks like a decent amount of time to do her hair -- from the neck down it's disaster, but her hair and makeup are pretty good considering .... it's like, one of these things doesn't belong ...
the cigarette in hand with the baby belly says it all lol.
And whats on her chin
I know, gross. And Is that a yellow flower tattoo or some kind of growth coming out of her chest???
Kerin2804
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Re: Guest woes - long
jeffamanda080808
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Re: Guest woes - long
This is very easy to solve. You call her and tell her that you spoke to grandma and that you just wanted to reiterate that the place where you are having your wedding isn't suitable for children and you aren't having them at your very fancy, non-khaki wedding.
Or just have me call her...I enjoyed having to do that!!!!!!!!!!!
MrsHtobe
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Re: Guest woes - long
Posted by JBoothIn2008
GOOD IDEA about the OOT babysitter! Although this means she might actually come.
I am writing 'Evening Attire Requested' on my invites (proof should be here today!) to avoid the khakis thing. Mine is a daytime wedding and I am afraid that some people will think this means they can dress down. I don't want GOWNS but I am looking for cocktail dresses, etc - whatever you'd wear to an non-formal evening wedding.
I don't mind them coming, I just don't want them to come and make a scene. I don't think they are really used to the open bar thing either I can't think about it lol.
Anyhow. . . . I think thats a good idea with the 'evening attire requested' I've never been to a day wedding, but i think I would still wear a cocktail dress - people should get the hint!
MrsHtobe
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Re: Guest woes - long
Posted by jeffamanda080808
This is very easy to solve. You call her and tell her that you spoke to grandma and that you just wanted to reiterate that the place where you are having your wedding isn't suitable for children and you aren't having them at your very fancy, non-khaki wedding.
Or just have me call her...I enjoyed having to do that!!!!!!!!!!!
You're too funny Amanda lol. You're on call if I need the help!!!
TrueLoveIn2008
Posted:
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Re: Guest woes - long
Posted by MrsHtobe
Posted by JBoothIn2008
GOOD IDEA about the OOT babysitter! Although this means she might actually come.
I am writing 'Evening Attire Requested' on my invites (proof should be here today!) to avoid the khakis thing. Mine is a daytime wedding and I am afraid that some people will think this means they can dress down. I don't want GOWNS but I am looking for cocktail dresses, etc - whatever you'd wear to an non-formal evening wedding.
I don't mind them coming, I just don't want them to come and make a scene. I don't think they are really used to the open bar thing either I can't think about it lol.
Anyhow. . . . I think thats a good idea with the 'evening attire requested' I've never been to a day wedding, but i think I would still wear a cocktail dress - people should get the hint!
My mom keeps telling me, it's at the fox hollow, people are not going to come in a sundress! But a lot of guests are OOT, and they do not know the fox hollow from the pines motel. And a lot of girls on here even say 'I'm going to a day wedding, can I wear a skirt and blouse?' Once I started seeing that, there was NOOOO question I was spelling it out for folks.
davenjess
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Re: Guest woes - long
i know you don't want to, but your only solution is going to be to call her.
While in a perfect world - this wouldn't have to happen...here's what i suggest...
1. Have a drink of wine
2. Call Her
3. Explain the type of wedding you are having, how it's going to be like nothing she's ever seen before, etc. Explain how FANCY your dress is, how fancy your MOM's dress is, how GORGEOUS FH looks in a tuxedo, etc. This will help instill how NOT okay her outfit idea is.
4. Explain to her that while you would LOVE to spend the extra time with the children in her family, it's just not possible. You will not be having children at the reception and you don't want her to not come because of it, so you will be providing a babysitter for anyone in the same situation. You're going to have to suck it up and pay - but it's a small price to pay to shut her up.
5. If all else fails, have more wine and tell her the wedding is off.
Hope this helps in some way hon! I'm sorry you are going through this!
Risgirl
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Re: Guest woes - long
Posted by MrsHtobe
Thanks girls
I don't think she has a computer, I wasn't kidding about the redneck thing lol.
I'll try calling her and being straightforward about it. Like bluekat said, just mention how excited I am about the girls gowns, etc, and then maybe I'll just mention to her that I'm hiring a babysitter for OOT guests that have children, so she won't even have to worry about who will watch the kids. . . that way it doesn't come across like I'm calling her to tell her she can't bring them, so much as I'm calling to tell her I took care of it. . .
Or I could make different invites for her family lol, that says adult reception and formal (thats funny Andrea, but not a bad idea hah!)
I think the call is definitely a good idea. When you say you're hiring a babysitter make sure she knows that it's NOT HER DECISION whether she uses the sitter - it's MANDATORY because you are not including any children. People that are from OOT and not used to the whole 'headcount' thing may not get it.
As for the attire - you may want to mention that G-ma said she was going to wear pants, and that you didn't want her to be underdressed because everyone else will be in a dress...maybe you can make it sound like you're looking out for her. I had a friend from OOT who's hubby went to a Greek Wedding on a Saturday Night, in linen pants and a short sleeve shirt...even after she TOLD him he should wear a suit. Needless to say he was super embarassed and vowed never to go to a wedding in anything but a suit unless it was on the beach!! Seriously, nobody in the country does weddings as crazy as us!! Except maybe in HOLLYWOOD!
GOOD LUCK!
MrsHtobe
Posted:
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Re: Guest woes - long
Posted by davenjess
5. If all else fails, have more wine and tell her the wedding is off.
lol - that would go over well.
I'm going to have to suck it up and call her, I just don't like hurting people's feelings, ya know?
But yes, wine might def be needed for the situation (not that I need an excuse! LOL)
MrsHtobe
Posted:
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Re: Guest woes - long
Posted by JBoothIn2008
My mom keeps telling me, it's at the fox hollow, people are not going to come in a sundress! But a lot of guests are OOT, and they do not know the fox hollow from the pines motel. And a lot of girls on here even say 'I'm going to a day wedding, can I wear a skirt and blouse?' Once I started seeing that, there was NOOOO question I was spelling it out for folks.
I'm all about spelling it out for people.
davenjess
Posted:
Member since
Re: Guest woes - long
Posted by MrsHtobe
Posted by JBoothIn2008
My mom keeps telling me, it's at the fox hollow, people are not going to come in a sundress! But a lot of guests are OOT, and they do not know the fox hollow from the pines motel. And a lot of girls on here even say 'I'm going to a day wedding, can I wear a skirt and blouse?' Once I started seeing that, there was NOOOO question I was spelling it out for folks.
I'm all about spelling it out for people.
Right - which is why i think if you are telling her all about your dress, your mom's dress, FH's TUX....it'll help her get it. If all else fails - just tell her, grandma mentioned something about khaki's? I don't want you to feel underdressed, so I wanted to tell you that we're going for a formal look, all the men will be in suits (at the very least) and the women will be in dresses/gowns.
MrsHtobe
Posted:
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Re: Guest woes - long
Posted by davenjess
Posted by MrsHtobe
Posted by JBoothIn2008
My mom keeps telling me, it's at the fox hollow, people are not going to come in a sundress! But a lot of guests are OOT, and they do not know the fox hollow from the pines motel. And a lot of girls on here even say 'I'm going to a day wedding, can I wear a skirt and blouse?' Once I started seeing that, there was NOOOO question I was spelling it out for folks.
I'm all about spelling it out for people.
Right - which is why i think if you are telling her all about your dress, your mom's dress, FH's TUX....it'll help her get it. If all else fails - just tell her, grandma mentioned something about khaki's? I don't want you to feel underdressed, so I wanted to tell you that we're going for a formal look, all the men will be in suits (at the very least) and the women will be in dresses/gowns.
You are 100% right. I just need to be straightforward.
Its easier to tell someone else to be straightforward than it is to do it yourself lol
davenjess
Posted:
Member since
Re: Guest woes - long
Posted by MrsHtobe
Posted by davenjess
Posted by MrsHtobe
Posted by JBoothIn2008
My mom keeps telling me, it's at the fox hollow, people are not going to come in a sundress! But a lot of guests are OOT, and they do not know the fox hollow from the pines motel. And a lot of girls on here even say 'I'm going to a day wedding, can I wear a skirt and blouse?' Once I started seeing that, there was NOOOO question I was spelling it out for folks.
I'm all about spelling it out for people.
Right - which is why i think if you are telling her all about your dress, your mom's dress, FH's TUX....it'll help her get it. If all else fails - just tell her, grandma mentioned something about khaki's? I don't want you to feel underdressed, so I wanted to tell you that we're going for a formal look, all the men will be in suits (at the very least) and the women will be in dresses/gowns.
You are 100% right. I just need to be straightforward.
Its easier to tell someone else to be straightforward than it is to do it yourself lol
Oh yes it is - the glass or two, or three, or eight, no one's judging, will help with that!
Jamnike
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Re: Guest woes - long
lol dont feel bad thats how FHs family is.....his dad chaged into a dirty tshirt and shorts after the ceremony at his daughters wedding! i told FH that his dad has to keep his tux on all day.....some people dont realize how LI weddings are and how to act. Im sure grandma will take care of it :)
MrsHtobe
Posted:
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Re: Guest woes - long
Posted by Jamnike
lol dont feel bad thats how FHs family is.....his dad chaged into a dirty tshirt and shorts after the ceremony at his daughters wedding! i told FH that his dad has to keep his tux on all day.....some people dont realize how LI weddings are and how to act. Im sure grandma will take care of it :)
a dirty t-shirt and shorts? lol
SparkyandAng
Posted:
Member since
Re: Guest woes - long
Posted by JBoothIn2008
My mom keeps telling me, it's at the fox hollow, people are not going to come in a sundress! But a lot of guests are OOT, and they do not know the fox hollow from the pines motel. And a lot of girls on here even say 'I'm going to a day wedding, can I wear a skirt and blouse?' Once I started seeing that, there was NOOOO question I was spelling it out for folks.
My friend was very upset that she had her wedding at Russo's during the day and she felt that her guests weren't dressed as nicely as they would have for an evening event, so I think you are smart to do it if it's important to you.
