guests +1 advice

teenigrrl Posted: May 30, 2008 12:07 PM

guests +1 advice

my coworker just received an invitation for her friend's wedding, and she was invited without a +1. when the wedding planning first started, my coworker was not in a relationship, but since then has been in a serious relationship, and now feels awful about being invited w/out a guest. she spoke to the bride to be, and the bride to be stuck to her guns, and said, 'sorry, i can't please everyone'. the kicker is, my coworker's son is part of the BP. she doesn't know what to do. she really does not want to go to the wedding w/out her BF, but since her son is in the BP, she feels obligated to go. she may even consider pulling her son out. the bride to be was insistent that that she could not budge on the +1. what would you do if you were coworker? how would you handle it if you were the bride to be? she's interested to know what you ladies have to say. TIA!

yelley77 Posted: May 30, 2008 12:09 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

Coming from a bride with a guest list busting at the seems, I'd STILL find a way to have her +1 there. ESPECIALLY since her son is in the BP.

RadiantBride Posted: May 30, 2008 12:10 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

To be honest with you, unfortunately everyone can't afford or have the space to invite guests with a +1. For my wedding, you only had a plus 1 if you were in a serious relationship. I had 240 ppl at my wedding and if i would have invited all the singles plus one I would have been around 350.There were about 4 people that asked me and i explained to them that my gueslist was over capacity. Needless to say NONE of those couples are still together.
hope this gives you the other side of the story

agraydc Posted: May 30, 2008 12:11 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

wow! thats a tough situation, are they really on a tight budget, is so they may have set a rule that all 'singles' are just that 'single'
it wouldnt be fair to the son to pull him out of the wedding, he has nothing to do with this
maybe just have to suck it up and go without BF, cuz it is what the bride wants for her day....

Sharron70 Posted: May 30, 2008 12:12 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

Honestly, this scenario gets posted here all the time - except it's the bride complaining of people trying to add guests and we all tell them to stick to their guns!

Yes, when the planning started she may not have had a boyfriend but as I understand it, guests are usually limited to Spouses, fiances and, in some cases, looooong term relationships.

I don't think your friend should be so upset.

bluekat16 Posted: May 30, 2008 12:13 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

I just replied and got the stupid nework error message

Ok here we go again....i think that the bride should make the exception for her since her son is in the BP. To me that says that the bride and your friend are closee enough that she has her son in the BP and should make the expcetion.

jessnstu08 Posted: May 30, 2008 12:13 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

I would decide which was more important , seeing this person get married, or bringing a date . If the bride makes an exception for your co worker, then others in her situation will get upset ect

Soon2BMrsC09 Posted: May 30, 2008 12:13 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

thats tough but if her son is in the BP then i think that +1 should be given to her - if her son was not then i can see sticking to her guns about not allowing the guest...

wifetobe Posted: May 30, 2008 12:14 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

If she is an adult..I dont' care if she is with someone or not..you invite them with a guest.

That happened to me.. before I met FH my college friend invited me without a guest..then said later on after I met FH that oh he can come?

F You!!! Im not a teenager...adults should always be invited with a guest.

price867 Posted: May 30, 2008 12:14 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

it is strange that her son is in the BP and she was not invited with a guest.

Maybe your co-worker can suggest to her friend that if she get's a lot of 'no's' to reconsider bringing her boyfriend as her guest.

missliss Posted: May 30, 2008 12:14 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

I think your friend should just go alone and not make a stink about it....it's only one night, it's not that big a deal......jmo.

Mici n KC Posted: May 30, 2008 12:15 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

I am inviting everyone with +1. She may not have the space or money to do it. What if she just went to the ceremony and not the reception? Or just go alone.

roan126 Posted: May 30, 2008 12:16 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

I guess it depends on how close she is with the coworker. If I really cared about the person and wanted to see them get married, I'd go without the boyfriend. I mean it does stink to be alone at a wedding, especially if you have a serious boyfriend, but really its not the end of the world

jessnstu08 Posted: May 30, 2008 12:17 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

Posted by wifetobe

If she is an adult..I dont' care if she is with someone or not..you invite them with a guest.

That happened to me.. before I met FH my college friend invited me without a guest..then said later on after I met FH that oh he can come?

F You!!! Im not a teenager...adults should always be invited with a guest.

I agree, everyone I invited is with a guest, but this bride doesn't seem like she is going to budge, so she might have to suck it up!

RadiantBride Posted: May 30, 2008 12:17 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

Posted by wifetobe

If she is an adult..I dont' care if she is with someone or not..you invite them with a guest.

That happened to me.. before I met FH my college friend invited me without a guest..then said later on after I met FH that oh he can come?

F You!!! Im not a teenager...adults should always be invited with a guest.

i think we should remember that everyone is different and a Bride's day is her day and that's it. We have to respect it whether we agree with it or not.

wifetobe Posted: May 30, 2008 12:19 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

Posted by RadiantBride

Posted by wifetobe

If she is an adult..I dont' care if she is with someone or not..you invite them with a guest.

That happened to me.. before I met FH my college friend invited me without a guest..then said later on after I met FH that oh he can come?

F You!!! Im not a teenager...adults should always be invited with a guest.

i think we should remember that everyone is different and a Bride's day is her day and that's it. We have to respect it whether we agree with it or not.

Of course it'st he brides decision but she then has to live with the consequences of pis*ing people off and having them not come to the wedding...

MJDoc12 Posted: May 30, 2008 12:20 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

to each their own--but i am one of those on the side of 'if they are an adult---they should be invited with a guest.'

honestly i think its kind of shady that the bride won't make an exception considering that this girls son is in the BP--if you don't want anyone else to have a +1 , fine..but geez she's letting her son be in your BP, probably paying for a tux rental, as well as a gift and she can't bring a guest?

davenjess Posted: May 30, 2008 12:22 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

this is REALLY not easy....

I don't think it would be right for her to be spiteful and pull her son from the BP....

I do think it's highly rude that she wasn't invited plus one, but i do also get that the person may have gotten back 50 yes' more than she thought she would.

When is the wedding? Maybe she can speak to her co-worker and let her know that she's upset about the fact that a special consideration can't be made for her, as her son is in the BP, but if she gets a no she wasn't expecting, can it go to her, so that she can bring her BF.

JulyBride728 Posted: May 30, 2008 12:23 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

Being a bride with a crazyyy guestlist--i feel the pain of inviting a +1
if you do it for one person, believe me that yo u'll hear it from someone else if you didn't do it for them. The way I see it, is that your co-worker need to figure how close she is to the bride. Does her relationship outweigh the fact that she can't bring her boyfriend? is it really that important that her boyfriend need to be there, rather than her being there for the bride? Personally, I think it'll be pretty messed up if she pulled her son out of the wedding party for something she KNEW about from the very beginning of the wedding.
Coming from a bride, and this is just me, i think she needs to suck it up and realize she'll have her boyfriend thereafter whenever and wherever she wants. she can sacrifice being without him for a few hours no?

teenigrrl Posted: May 30, 2008 12:24 PM

Re: guests +1 advice

i feel that since her son is in the BP, she should be able to bring a guest. if her son wasn't, she would have no problem RSVPing no, especially because it's not a very close friend - it's actually her sister's friend who's getting married.