Guests bringing Guests vent...

So, Fh and I invited all of our friends with dates, regardless of if they were dating someone serious. We didn't want to discriminate, and felt that if they were dating someone casually, they might want to bring them, their call. However, I was hoping that my friends would make good judgement calls when bringing dates. I guess its my own fault, but 2 of my friends responded with guest, no name and when I asked one of them who she is bringing she was like, oh I am bringing Chris from college. He is just a friend to her and I know him, but we're not close. I find it annoying that she is bringing a date just for the sake of bringing a date, even though she knows like 25 people who are going to be there. My other friend who responded with a guest doesn't even know who she is bringing yet. Like, really? I know I shouldn't complain, since I did invite them with a guest and who am I to decide who they bring, but I just find it annoying that they are just bringing a guest to bring a guest, not because they are dating this person. Am I being unreasonable??? I can handle the truth, lol.

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Posted by GRod2Be

No your not at all i would be pissed too. Something like this happened to me my bestman is bringing this girl he just started dating and check this out she's 17 yrs old, with a kid and still married to someone else..so yea lol.

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OMMMMMMMMMMG can you even get married that young?

Most of my friends that are single I was very straight with...I said if you're not dating someone, please don't bring someone for the hell of it...we are trying to keep it as small as possible. Actually I think ALL of them listened!

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Posted by KittyGags

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Posted by GRod2Be

No your not at all i would be pissed too. Something like this happened to me my bestman is bringing this girl he just started dating and check this out she's 17 yrs old, with a kid and still married to someone else..so yea lol.

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OMMMMMMMMMMG can you even get married that young?

Most of my friends that are single I was very straight with...I said if you're not dating someone, please don't bring someone for the hell of it...we are trying to keep it as small as possible. Actually I think ALL of them listened!

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She got pregnant and i guess her mom gave her permission to get married but now she is supposedly separated.

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Posted by GRod2Be

No your not at all i would be pissed too. Something like this happened to me my bestman is bringing this girl he just started dating and check this out she's 17 yrs old, with a kid and still married to someone else..so yea lol.

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How old is your bestman?

Cari- I dont think you are being unreasonable! Id be annoyed too! I had someone do this and like 2 days before the wedding she told me she couldnt find anyone to go with her! W ! T ! F!

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Posted by GT143EA

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Posted by GRod2Be

No your not at all i would be pissed too. Something like this happened to me my bestman is bringing this girl he just started dating and check this out she's 17 yrs old, with a kid and still married to someone else..so yea lol.

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How old is your bestman?

Cari- I dont think you are being unreasonable! Id be annoyed too! I had someone do this and like 2 days before the wedding she told me she couldnt find anyone to go with her! W ! T ! F!

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He's 23 lol

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Posted by julesrbf

I dunno, I kinda feel like if you invited EVERYONE with guest, they were gonna take advantage of that however they wanted to ... I would have expected people to bring random friends of theirs! JMO but I wouldn't let it bother you ...

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Well the only reason it bothers me is because our guest list is at 275, not getting a lot of nos and guests cost money...so it bothers me that I am paying for a random guest of my friend, just because she wanted to bring someone. If she was dating this person, fine, that is appropriate, but just to bring someone for the sake of bringing someone...bothers me.

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Posted by Cacarina

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Posted by julesrbf

I dunno, I kinda feel like if you invited EVERYONE with guest, they were gonna take advantage of that however they wanted to ... I would have expected people to bring random friends of theirs! JMO but I wouldn't let it bother you ...

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Well the only reason it bothers me is because our guest list is at 275, not getting a lot of nos and guests cost money...so it bothers me that I am paying for a random guest of my friend, just because she wanted to bring someone. If she was dating this person, fine, that is appropriate, but just to bring someone for the sake of bringing someone...bothers me.

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I was just going to ask if this person was married (DUH on me.) Because I think sometimes people that haven't planned a wedding are clueless about this stuff. But then again, I don't know this person so it's hard to say? Unfortunately, when you invite someone with a guest, sometimes they feel like they HAVE to bring someone. I look at it totally differently now that I'm planning my own wedding!

I honestly would be annoyed too. When I was single and invited with a date, I would only bring one if (a) I was actually dating someone; or (b) didn't know anyone else there and would feel uncomfortable.

I guess not everyone feels that way though. I understand your frustration but unfortunately you can't say anything.

Feel free to vent away to your LIW girls though!

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Posted by whtevjenny

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Posted by Cacarina

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Posted by julesrbf

I dunno, I kinda feel like if you invited EVERYONE with guest, they were gonna take advantage of that however they wanted to ... I would have expected people to bring random friends of theirs! JMO but I wouldn't let it bother you ...

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Well the only reason it bothers me is because our guest list is at 275, not getting a lot of nos and guests cost money...so it bothers me that I am paying for a random guest of my friend, just because she wanted to bring someone. If she was dating this person, fine, that is appropriate, but just to bring someone for the sake of bringing someone...bothers me.

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I was just going to ask if this person was married (DUH on me.) Because I think sometimes people that haven't planned a wedding are clueless about this stuff. But then again, I don't know this person so it's hard to say? Unfortunately, when you invite someone with a guest, sometimes they feel like they HAVE to bring someone. I look at it totally differently now that I'm planning my own wedding!

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Yeah, this is really the spirit of what I meant. Of course I get why you're pizzed off and I would be too, but people don't know any better! They just figure, oh, well I'll just bring so and so because I can!

So two thoughts. . if it was me i WOULD be annoyed but probably don't really have a right to be. . I think once you invite folks with a guest they can really bring anyone they want. .. I feel like if you had talked to folks and said hey don't bring anyone just to bring someone then it would be right to be annoyed but some people really think well a guest is a guest and if I get a plus one why shouldnt I bring them. .. so I FEEEEL your frustration and like I said sympathize but in the end we prob don't get to choose who people bring. ..

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Posted by julesrbf

I dunno, I kinda feel like if you invited EVERYONE with guest, they were gonna take advantage of that however they wanted to ... I would have expected people to bring random friends of theirs! JMO but I wouldn't let it bother you ...

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i hat to say it but i agree...sometimes i think when someone gets a invite with a guest they feel like they have to bring someone or they would look stupid


still i dont think they should bring a random person..thats just strange

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Posted by Cacarina

So, Fh and I invited all of our friends with dates, regardless of if they were dating someone serious. We didn't want to discriminate, and felt that if they were dating someone casually, they might want to bring them, their call. However, I was hoping that my friends would make good judgement calls when bringing dates. I guess its my own fault, but 2 of my friends responded with guest, no name and when I asked one of them who she is bringing she was like, oh I am bringing Chris from college. He is just a friend to her and I know him, but we're not close. I find it annoying that she is bringing a date just for the sake of bringing a date, even though she knows like 25 people who are going to be there. My other friend who responded with a guest doesn't even know who she is bringing yet. Like, really? I know I shouldn't complain, since I did invite them with a guest and who am I to decide who they bring, but I just find it annoying that they are just bringing a guest to bring a guest, not because they are dating this person. Am I being unreasonable??? I can handle the truth, lol.

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I am going to VERY respectfully respond since you are asking for the truth.

I think you have a right to be miffed (pissed) BUT you did invite people with a date. They can bring whoever they want even though it would be BAD choices.

These people don't get we ARE paying for the date. We would HOPE they would use good judgement when choosing.

But, ultimately, you DID invite them with a guest. You cant pick the guest, and you CERTAINLY cant give the invi-tee good judgement.

Privately you can be miffed, but honestly, you did invite them with a date and they can pick whoever they want. Even if it is to JUST have anyone there.

Again, this is written with the most respect!

I'm right there with you!!!

i recently found out that someone who I invited with guest because she is married.... decided that her husband can't come (or doesn't want to) so she might bring an ex coworker!! UH SERIOUSLY!!!!! So I should pay for some person who I don't know... never met... and will never see again... just so you can have someone there with you... when you will def know about 20 or so people there? Sorry.. but that's a tad rude in my book!!!

I totally see what you're saying, but I guess once you invite them with a guest, like you said, their call. Giving them the opportunity to bring a guest means they bring whomever they want, we can't control that. If you didn't want them to bring a guest just to bring a guest, then you shouldn't have invited them with a guest

ETA: I completley agree with Sarah's post above.