Brides Helping Brides ™ - Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

Acbrideny Posted: Jul 27, 2007 05:21 PM

Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

I am sitting here right now feeling so frustrated by people who think wedding planning is easy and inexpensive. I would just like to say to all those guests who were invited and have the nerve to complain about how their kids weren't invited and their kids kids, and any kids they may have in the future weren't invited, YOU ARE BEING RUDE BY COMPLAINING! Inevitably any family member or friend you complain to will intentionally or unintentionally tell the bride or her family, and causes unneccessary stress.

Now maybe I should give some background on why I am ready to explode.

FMIL has a friend who has been giving her the cold shoulder for months now, so FMIL called her and asked her what was wrong....this 'friend' says she was hurt by the fact that we didn't invite her son and daughter in law....who's wedding we went to three years ago, and haven't seen or heard from since. My guest list was already up to 257 and we only can afford 200, so we had to cut somewhere including some second cousins who we truly wanted there, but again could not afford. SO needless to say , we had to leave some people out....OF course we would want everyone there but it just isn't possible. So this friend goes on to tell FMIL that this was rude, and he is offended and other people think that we were rude for not inviting her son, and so on....Am I wrong for being so angry about this????

Any person who would say this to someone who's son is getting married in 4 weeks and put a damper on her day is not such a great friend....there have been weddings that I haven't been invited to, such as a first cousins wedding, and I never said a word, and my parents went and never once complained to anyone.

ANyone else having this problem?

mdawg Posted: Jul 27, 2007 05:25 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

i dont understand why people think that everyone and their mothers (or kids and in-laws in this case) should be invited. This is supposed to be a special day for you.. why would you want to go through your pictures 10 years down the road and say 'well i didnt really want these people there, but i had to invite them because i was forced to out of guilt'.

Keep to your budget. If they want to come, they can pay for themselves.

Acbrideny Posted: Jul 27, 2007 05:27 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

DO you have to invite someone just because you went to their wedding? Isn't that called an obligatory invite?

DrWho Posted: Jul 27, 2007 05:28 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

She's an a$$. Tell her that the 'other people' who think you're rude don't have to come either. Probably just some people yessing her to death to shut her up. F all of them.

Acbrideny Posted: Jul 27, 2007 05:33 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

Now I don't even know how to act when I see this woman, I really want to tell her I don't know what is going on in her life that she would have to upset other people during what is supposed to be a happy time.

jtgarsik Posted: Jul 27, 2007 05:35 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

All you need to remind yourself of, is that when the wedding is over, everyone will be over it...for real! i had SOOO many issues with this...the day came & went - and it was like everyone just forgot.

Acbrideny Posted: Jul 27, 2007 05:38 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

I hope so.....

maybe I'll just sit her right next to the DJ Speaker so noone can hear her COMPLAIN !:)

mdawg Posted: Jul 27, 2007 05:41 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

Posted by Acbrideny

DO you have to invite someone just because you went to their wedding? Isn't that called an obligatory invite?

i think theres a statute on limitations on that... like if you dont speak to them for 3 years, the obligatory invite doesnt hold anymore. lol.

TOO MUCH LAW AND ORDER FOR ME!

Snickers76 Posted: Jul 27, 2007 05:44 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

This is the worst...

My sister told me after the wedding how her husband's GRANDPA would have loved to have been invited and was wondering if I had forgotten to send him an invitation. I was like 'No--I did not forget to send an invitation to your husband's GRANDPA whom I barely even know...our reception was 65 people for--INTIMATE!'

Needless to say that conversation is still bothering me...

mdawg Posted: Jul 27, 2007 05:45 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

lol its one thing if its like FHs grandpa, or your grandpa... but your sisters husbands grandpa? thats ridiculous.

Acbrideny Posted: Jul 27, 2007 05:46 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

I really feel like people have lost their minds. Meeting someone does not mean you should be invited to their wedding...in that case the clerk at 7-11, the bank teller, the person I held the door open for today, and my dog groomer would all have to be added ..for the love of god.

TlovesD Posted: Jul 27, 2007 05:51 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

Honestly this annoys the cr#@p out of me!! Do people think that money grows on trees..No we cannot invite everyone we have ever met in our entire lives!!!

LIprincess Posted: Jul 27, 2007 05:53 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

yeah some people have such nerve, I cant believe them. If you dont talk to the person for 3 years, i dont think you should be obligated to invite them.. I have a sister who is assuming her daughter (who is not even born yet) and my cousin who thinks her daughter is in the weddign party.. Neither of which i was planning on.

jessruth9 Posted: Jul 27, 2007 05:58 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

I think this so ridiculous.
Both me and FH come from families where weddings have been traditionally low key.
So since our wedding will comparably be a big deal his mom wants to show off to her friends.
I am cool with our dads inviting friends since they are paying.
But i can't believe her - she wants to invite 10 of her coworkers we have never met.

paulaboo Posted: Jul 27, 2007 07:44 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

Our problem is that the room we got only fits 250... and we could have easily come up with 500. We've cut friends for the sake of extended family that I've never met.

I knew we should have gotten the bigger room, but there were no dates available.

*sigh* I won't know 2/3 of the guests at my wedding.

soon2BMrsDee Posted: Jul 27, 2007 08:01 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

Oh yeah... that's typical argument in my grandmother's house - she's PO'd that I am not inviting my 18 year old cousin's girlfriend to the wedding and that my 7 and 5 year old cousin's aren't ringbearers or invited for that matter. Oh, and then there's my grandmother's 3 brothers and 5 sisters (with their significant others - 'cuz they're all widows or widowers) - whom I have met 2x in my 27 years of existence... and THEIR children, and their children's children - who I have NO IDEA who the H-E- double hockey stix they are...
That's just my family... I don't have enough typing space to be-yotch about my FMIL and her @-hole antics (oops sorry!) about inviting people... apparently I'm supposed to invite frickin' politicians to this wedding - I am NOT of their political persuasion and absolutely am disgusted by those politicians I am told to invite - otherwise, Joe and I aren't going to get the 'gift' she told us she was giving. (GRRRR)

And none of this was behind my back either - it's all dished out to me - CUZ I NEED THAT!
Damn families!!!

soon2BMrsDee Posted: Jul 27, 2007 08:03 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

Posted by Acbrideny

DO you have to invite someone just because you went to their wedding? Isn't that called an obligatory invite?

Do you talk with them (or at least associate with them)? There's a couple of people I am not inviting who invited me to there's - some I haven't spoken to since their wedding (like 5 years ago) and others, I talked to and told them that we're having a small reception and that I hope they understand.

soon2BMrsDee Posted: Jul 27, 2007 08:06 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

Posted by Acbrideny

Now I don't even know how to act when I see this woman, I really want to tell her I don't know what is going on in her life that she would have to upset other people during what is supposed to be a happy time.

From experience - 'cuz it happens practically every time my FH and I see his family... those who are miserable, cannot stand seeing other people happy - so they do what they have to to make you miserable too (or crazy)...

soon2BMrsDee Posted: Jul 27, 2007 08:11 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

Posted by jessruth9

I think this so ridiculous.
Both me and FH come from families where weddings have been traditionally low key.
So since our wedding will comparably be a big deal his mom wants to show off to her friends.
I am cool with our dads inviting friends since they are paying.
But i can't believe her - she wants to invite 10 of her coworkers we have never met.

Same here!

My FMIL had us invite 8 of her coworkers to our Engagement Party (quote the FMIL: 'trust me you'll get big gifts from them') - of which WE paid for... We obliged - 'cuz she wouldn't get off of our @sses... out of the eight: four RSVP'd as Yes and DIDN'T show and the other 4 COUPLE'S 'big gifts'... 20 bucks.
I think it was at that point I blacked out and went BZ on her @ss - prooooobably why we don't get along anymore... but her co-workers ain't invited to the wedding! Shed a little blood, sweat and tears to get what you want I guess.

soon2BMrsDee Posted: Jul 27, 2007 08:12 PM

Re: Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

Posted by paulaboo

Our problem is that the room we got only fits 250... and we could have easily come up with 500. We've cut friends for the sake of extended family that I've never met.

I knew we should have gotten the bigger room, but there were no dates available.

*sigh* I won't know 2/3 of the guests at my wedding.

JMO:
Depending on who's paying... there's GOT to be a compromise there - that's ridiculous.