Guests who complain about who wasn't invited...let's vent

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Posted by paulaboo

Our problem is that the room we got only fits 250... and we could have easily come up with 500. We've cut friends for the sake of extended family that I've never met.

I knew we should have gotten the bigger room, but there were no dates available.

*sigh* I won't know 2/3 of the guests at my wedding.

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TOTALLY NWR:
You're getting married on my nana's birthday - she's my favorite person in the world... I hope your day is beautiful!

Holy MOLY! I complained a LOT! I'll shut up now... but I have to say - I DO feel a LOT better after all that venting!

Wow... that is probably the worst thing i've ever heard... is her son and his wife really that offended? People are so rediculous! I can't wait for all this crap next year that i'm sure i'll have to deal with...

Here are some hugs, hang in there! I'm sure it's worth it!

wow.

my brother got married a few years ago & didn't invite my dad's 2nd wife, who's the mother of our younger brother & sister. he didn't invite her my mother would be pretty uncomfortable having to not only see my dad, but the woman he re-married. my mom is a bit over-dramatic, no-a lot, so we would do anything to keep her from getting hurt.

well, she gave my brothers & me such attitude after that for a long time - so did her parents - for not inviting them. now i'm getting married and i was feeling bad cuz my sister was already talking as id they are going to be there - i didn't have the heart to come out & say 'i can't invite your mother or your grandparents'. i will have to eventually tell her, but i'm dreading the look on her face, followed by any naive remark about 'what's the problem'? i love my sister so much & would never want anything to cone between us and if things were different & my mom & dad weren't so hurt by the things her mom did, she'd be there. but from what they've told me, she has done some pretty messed up things in to them (my dad is now re-married for the 3rd time & wife #2 tried to mess that up with gossipy-drama a few years back).

so drama? um, no thanks - i had enough just knowing ABOUT the stuff she's done. besides how much this woman tells me she loves me like her own daughter, she never once in the 24 years that I have known her, call me to see how i was doing, make ANY effort to make me part of her life (besides the very rare occasion where she has my sister invite me over for a bbq BUT THAT'S IT) or has she ever done a freakin thing for me. she's totally cool to my face, but the things i hear behind my back - oh no.

phew - vent-a-miglia

good to get that out.

i like seeing thqat its not just my family that is going to have these issues.. my mom is inviting people that dont have names.. they are identifed only by the state that they reside in.. ie.. 'i am going to invite virginia, north carolina and pennsylvania'


my fmil sent save the dates to everyone she knows and fh did the same.. even though i TOLD HIM if u send them a save the date u are spose to send them an invitaiton.. these aren't engagement announcements.. now fh is saying his mom wants 10 more save the date cause she sent one to someones and their brother didn't get one and wants to know why.. she also wants to invite everyone of her 12 read it TWELVE brothers and sisters and their kids.. i have to be honest though, cause my mom is no better.. she asked me if she could have 10 save the dates to take to my cousins' wedding last weekend to hand out to people she forgot to mail them to. ie 'u'r cousin michael got one but i forgot to mail one to hs mother and sister..'

oh and the kicker.. his mom and my mom both insist that it's okay to invite this exta 50 people because 'none of them are going to come.. buti want to invite them anyway'.. i explained to fh to tell his mom just like i told mine.. u can invite them.. but 1. u are paying for the extra invitations.. and 2. u are payin for them if theysay yes they are coming..

we gave both of our parents 30 people.. THIRT PEOPLE to invite that's a lot especially considering fh's parents are only payinf for the rehearsal dinner and initially refused to pay for that!... so if their list now numbers 40.. they are paying for the extra 10.. end of story.. and when i do the invites i will have specific lists as to which people are invitiees of whom.. and will be cross referencing the list with the rsvps.. let 31 rsvps from his mom come back.. that extra person.. she's paying for.

update: fmil is down south at her family reunion.. fh just spoke to her bout the ext people. she 'claims' all but 2 of the extr people said they can't make and if the extra 2 come she'll 'help us out with them' lmao.. what does that mean?

i think i'm more frustrated because i don't particlarly care for fh's parents.. they aren't mean or anything.. but rather extremely detached.. they are nice when they see me, but just uninterested overall it seems.. i dunno-it'd seem if u'r only son is getting married u'd care a little more bout it.. and be more willing to help.. i think i never got over them saying no bout the rehearsal dinner.. and i partially don't believe they changed their mind.. i think fh is gonna try to pay for it without me knowing in order to keep the peace..


what a great thread.. i needed to get that out!

Thank you for posting this...I'm in similar situation with my co-worker/friend. Since we worked together and sit next to each other, I pretty much shared with her all my wedding plans including not having kids on my wedding. Since she's my close friend at work and I adore her daughter, I asked her if I can have her daughter as my flower girl. She said NO because she thinks that she still too young. I understood and I was OK with that.

Fast forward, I sent her the invitation. She asked me if she can take her daughter, even though she know we're not having any children. When I said no she said told me that she might to be able to come because she doesn't have baby-sitter (even though the wedding is 6 weeks away). So I asked her what happen to her sister in law who always babysit her (but I'm actually thinking 'you know about this wedding for months and you can't arrange for baby-sitter?') She gave me a lame a$$ excuse that in 'Indian tradition' if a family member is invited somewhere, they have to take the whole family with you. WHAT?!!!

Does she expect me to invite her whole clan? Is that mean I have to invite her sister & mother in law who she live with?

I'm with you! We're getting crap b/c we're not inviting 2nd and 3rd cousins....who we NEVER see.
FH's aunt has said on many occassions, I can't believe you're not inviting so and so. Well, if you want to cough up the extra mula, we'll be glad to add them. It's A LOT of people and then I would have to do the same on my parent's side. The worst part it is, this extended family, who we sometimes see at Christmas time..but usually not, thinks they're coming. One of FH's great uncles (who has never uttered a word to me before this) actually said 'See you at the wedding.' Um, he's not invited.
People are so presumptious!

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Posted by Acbrideny

DO you have to invite someone just because you went to their wedding? Isn't that called an obligatory invite?

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We went to a wedding 2 years ago (actually, my daughter was the FG) We chose NOT to invite the couple b/c we NEVER got a TY from this couple for anything! My daughter never got any kind of TY for participating in the wedding and we gave them a very generous gift and never got a TY card. I did't even realize this until about a year after the wedding. Also, I was the one who found their DJ for them, got them their favors at cost (wine bottles) and made a mad dash to the brides house b/f the ceremony b/c she forgot her veil at home. And NOTHING!! Can you tell I'm still a little bitter? Anyway, needless to say they are not on our guest list and other members of their family will be attending my wedding. I dare any one of them to say something to me!!


Sorry, I held that in a long time