decided NOT to fill FH in on anything else detail wise from here til the wedding? He tells me to go do it, plan it, do my thing, this is your gig, Rachel etc. And then proceeds to turn around and criticize all of my choices, or say 'That's not what we discussed.' or 'That's dumb. I never heard of that.' He even told me that he 'has never seen programs at a wedding before.' His mother told him he was nuts. I have decided not to share anything else with him at this point. His job is to show up, pay up and shut up.
dkga1026
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LOL that's what i did and it worked like a charm!!!
alina
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Nope, mine wants to stay involved, including such things as decided how my makeup should look
OctBride03
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lol Rachel, I like that! Your show up, pay up, shut up idea! I'm sorry he is giving you a hard time. Guys OBVIOUSLY don't know what it's like to be a girl and planning the wedding of our dreams, ya know? I do have to say though, John does know what programs are! haha! Anyway, don't worry about him. It will all come together! BTW - YOU'RE the Bride! It doesn't matter what he says anyway!
bride082003
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LOL
I love this:
His job is to show up, pay up and shut up.
My thoughts exactly. Mi FI is the same way....for the longest time I wanted to include him always asking him ?'s - he never cared so I made the decisions on my own. Then he'll say well why did you do that and change the decision.
I will now be telling him:
Your new job is to SHUT UP - PAY UP- SHOW UP
and its not UP to you anymore
THANKS
WithThisRing
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Brian just tells me, tell me the time, place, what i need to wear, and the directions.
i even joked with him that i would mail him a wedding invitation. he tells me, i hope i dont lose it because i'll just put it on the table and forget to respond and you always move everything so i'll never see it again and forget to send a response card.
things like invitations, flowers brian could care less about.
so i just do everything and tell him where to go, time, and what to wear and he does the driving.
ChristineC68
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I was wishing and praying for my DH to uninvolve himself with the wedding. He made me crazy and even went so far as to pout because he couldn't go with me to the bridal salon for a fitting because he wanted to do the wedding together!!
Thrilled, I hope your plan works for you!!!
Crisco718
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My FH wants to be involved in everything, but he does not know what he is doing!!!! From his guest list down to the flowers he is driving me crazy! We had a big fight about our engagement pictures in Grand Central Terminal last week. I though it would be great to have him involved, but it takes a lot of patience on my side.
Thrilled
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Ha. Engagement pictures? I lost that battle too. He thinks that's 'dumb'. He goes 'We have a lot of pcitures of us already, why do we need to pay a guy to take some fancy ones?' I said 'I want a formal picture for the cocktail sign in' He goes 'No.' I was basically begging and pleading and I got shot down. I'm still mad at him over that. Ugh I can't even talk about it. Anyone wanna swap the engagement session at Imagine with the trip to Jamaica from the GTG?
nylisa
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Rachel, I wish Michael was not involved at all. He wants to be involved in everything. He will not even let me pick put the flowers and invitations without showing him first. He said that if we are paying for this together than we are going to make decisions together. I hate that. Doesn't he understand that this is my day not his.
WithThisRing
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i am just mailing brian an invitation...
he is just going with the flow. the biggest imput he had was the hall. everything else he is like whatever you want to do, its always about the bride so its all you...jus tell me time, place, what to wear
p&a91203
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Mine is actually pretty involved too. Sometimes when he is getting a little too involved I have to remind him that this day is about me and not him!!! His job is to just show up that day!!
HappyEverAfter
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My FH tries to poll all his friends about what we are spending on the wedding. Like the other day he brings up that one of his friends thinks we are spending too much on photos, that his cousin got all his pics and video for 2k. All of a sudden, this bozo is an expert on wedding planning according to FH I said, did he see the pics? Were they good? FH had no real answer for that one, except to go back to his original arguement that I spend too much money. I pretty much just ignore his rants and attempts at input...I just nod, smile and agree w. him, then go out and do what I want anyway. According to my mom, that is the base of a good marriage, so why not start now?? LOL
Thrilled
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LOL Lisa! I don't know which is worse - to have to have FH sign off and approve of choices first or to have him criticize after the fact.
Edited to say: Everytime I say this is my day, not his, he goes 'I'm sorry...I didn't realize that you were marrying a ghost. I didn't realize that you were going to be up at that altar marrying all by yourself. IT'S MY DAY TOO!!!!!' He may have actually stamped his foot. And I go' Do you see yourself? I'm gonna tell all your tough cop buddies that it's YOUR day too!' LOL. That usually works.
jennbaby
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mine is an angel. helps with everything
ILT1221
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Thrilled---
Hang in there ! Sometimes men don't get it. I think my husband started helping after my 500th crying fit. I think he was very helpful the last 2 months (maybe even a month) before the wedding. Maybe just have him plan the honeymoon and the tuxes.
Thrilled
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He has had limo duty for 3 months now and has not done one thing for it. I'm sorry I'm venting but we just had another fight this morning and I felt like I really put a lot of heart and soul into some of the things I have done and he fails to appreciate or realize how much I've done or be grateful for any of my hard work. My mom says 'Honey, welcome to marriage.'
Niecey
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I am sorry for laughing but Rachel I am picturing Larry in his uniform stomping his foot.
Tell him to stop being a pain in you a$$ and let him know you are doing the research and you know what is best and what is appropriate and he should just agree and that I said so! (Like I have any pull.) Either that or say don't you trust that I am making the right decision..hehe a little guilt. I really like your idea of not letting him in on all the little details and then he can't complain. In the end, he probably won't care and proably even like your ideas. He his being such a male! I feel for ya! I must say, it is good that you seem to have a great relationship with your FMIL and she seems to agree with you. Hopefully, she can help out with some of the pain!
boosh78201
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Mine was involved with everything with the exception of flowers and the registry.
WithThisRing
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i tell brian, i am the bride no one cares about you. your role, show up and be sobar. everyone will be talking about me, my flowers, my hair, me me me...no one cares about you all you have to do is just show up.
brian has accepted his role...
though he does want to include his 2 cents in with the registry only because he does all the cooking so he wants to pick the pots and pans. hey no problem with that. thats all yours buddy.
dont be mad at larry, the date is getting close so i am sure is just as nervous and stressed as you may be
