Have a Problem, need help

aidamarie Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:12 PM

Have a Problem, need help

Shower problem read below

May05Bride Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:13 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

happy to help..
but whats the problem

aidamarie Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:15 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

My sister just called me and told me she didnt want to ruin my surprise but she went to book my shower today. She booked a restaurant and then she called my FSIL to tell her, now my sister never met her, she just called to say she booked the shower. Well she wound up getting into a huge fight on the phone. Apparently my FSIL already decided she was gonna have my shower.

aidamarie Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:17 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

So they got into a nasty argument and my sister said that since shes the MOH its her job to throw the shower and that if she wanted she could go halfs and they could throw it together, but my FSIL said no that she was having it catered at her house and that she was doing it with my FMIL

buggiegirl Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:18 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

1st of all, not to be rude, this is JMO, but this shower is supposed to be to HONOR you...not for you to be in the middle of!!! You should not even know ANY of this!! I feel bad that you have to be!

2nd- maybe they can both have one (do both families live nearby) or maybe they can cohost?

I would tell them BOTH in no uncertain terms that you have enough to worry about planning your wedding, and that they need to figure out a way to do this for you on their own!

JMO...please don't be offended

july06bride Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:20 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

I agree- You stay neutral and let them worry about it! They can each have their own-or they can combine it...they really should have talked about it before now IMO- but no matter what you should have nothing to do with it..They will figure it out all you need to do is show up and be happy!

aidamarie Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:21 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

Now my sister is flipping out, she said she cant believe how nasty she had gotten with her and that it wound up into a fight. So my sister said well im having the shower if you dont like i dont come. The problem is i love my sister, but im also close to FSIL

aidamarie Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:23 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

Posted by buggiegirl

1st of all, not to be rude, this is JMO, but this shower is supposed to be to HONOR you...not for you to be in the middle of!!! You should not even know ANY of this!! I feel bad that you have to be!

2nd- maybe they can both have one (do both families live nearby) or maybe they can cohost?

I would tell them BOTH in no uncertain terms that you have enough to worry about planning your wedding, and that they need to figure out a way to do this for you on their own!

JMO...please don't be offended

Not offended, thank you, im actually very upset that they are fighting over this, and now im in the middle

buggiegirl Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:24 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

Again, no offense, but they are both being SOOOO selfish!!

I would let them both think about it for a few days- sometimes a little time does wonders. They may realize that they were both making a rash decision!

Also- can you talk to your mom or FMIL about this? Maybe they can see how crazy it is and make it less stressful for you.

The bottom line is, this is SO unfair to you!

aidamarie Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:26 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

i also assumed that its my sister who should have the say in what to do for the shower since shes my MOH, but im trying not to take sides. Its hard to stay out of it, with my sister calling me every 5 minutes venting about how pissed she is.

lrs2005 Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:26 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

So long as they are not on the same day and at the same time can you have two showers and attend both of them? I am sorry that they put you in the middle like this.

aidamarie Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:29 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

Posted by buggiegirl

Again, no offense, but they are both being SOOOO selfish!!

I would let them both think about it for a few days- sometimes a little time does wonders. They may realize that they were both making a rash decision!

Also- can you talk to your mom or FMIL about this? Maybe they can see how crazy it is and make it less stressful for you.

The bottom line is, this is SO unfair to you!

aidamarie Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:31 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

God i have such a headache now, im completely stressed out, this wedding has been so much drama and headaches so far. I think i should of eloped.

buggiegirl Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:36 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

I know how you feel-
Our planning is in the early stages and we already have had so much drama!

I really think you need to NOT talk to your sister or FSIL for a little while- just let the whole situation settle. Maybe your FH can help out by talking to his mom & sister...

If it were me I would tell ALL parties involved, 'listen... this is my shower and my wedding, and the most important thing is that everyone get along and be happy, so...if you guys can't work it out then I don't want a shower anyway!'
Maybe that will make them think

You will get through this and remember: what does not kill us makes us stronger

aidamarie Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:39 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

aidamarie Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:40 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

I cut it short and said i dont have it right now and im in the middle of something so im gonna have to call you back

JPC1125 Posted: Apr 03, 2005 10:45 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

what im not getting from these posts is what you want? do youw ant 2 parties or just one? and if just one, which one???

once you make up your mind, we can help you figure out what to do. While I agree that the suprise is ruined( which stinks) your sister was treated horribly and you need to either stand up for her or for your fsil.....btw your sister is correct cause regardless of anything else, its the MOH whos supposed to throw the party

aidamarie Posted: Apr 03, 2005 11:00 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

buggiegirl Posted: Apr 03, 2005 11:04 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

Like I already said:
I would tell them you only want one shower and if they can't work it out then forget it!!

If I were you I would log off, go read a book and get a good night's sleep- and tell them both tomorrow that they are WRONG! FSIL should not be asking you for a list anyway- she should ask your mom or someone else! And your sister is wrong for getting you involved in the 1st place!

So go get some rest- I am- and keep us updated!

jimmysgrl Posted: Apr 03, 2005 11:07 PM

Re: Have a Problem, need help

Okay, I cannot even believe this is happening, I am so sorry. I do have to agree, I don't understand why your FSIL planned this without even including your MOH, that just doesn't sound right BUT I have heard of people having two different showers from two sides of the family and have been to about three of them. They work out fine, so my only opinion would be to tell your FSIL that it looks like there are going to be two showers, one for one side and one for the other side of the family so that people aren't getting duplicate invites. I'm only sorry you are in the middle and that this is ruing your time. .

Edited, because I just reread your last e-mail about wanting only one shower. Well, let me still give you a couple more